#1
Here it is.

Quick note: TURN OFF RSE!!! I wrote this with it off so to hear it the way I intended please turn off RSE, thanks.

Took about 2 weeks to write, I think I got stuck in the fishbowl and I can't tell whether the songs are good since I've been listening and working on them for so long now.

This is a metal album but I tried to diversify each song, I was shooting for Death Metal but there are some great songs in here with different styles. I also tried to keep a standard on all songs, so some riffs and parts may sound the same but that's what I intended, I tried my best not to repeat myself though so that's why I'm posting it here, need your guy's crits and response!

I'm not asking you to crit every singly song, but hey if you like the songs and have some time, crit a few or maybe even all of them but that's not my intention, if I even get one crit I'll be happy.


Tracklist:

01) To Enslave and Eradicate --> Death Metal, lots of chugging, fast, and has a very cool solo (sweep picking as well)

02) The Failures of Our Protectors --> Not sure what kind of metal this woudl be, but it's pretty melodic. Not much chugging at all in here, a sick breakdown.

03) The Path to Salvation....The Road to Infection --> Viking Metal? not sure what style, but this is my favorite song off the entire album. Great chorus, cool solo, and an intense ending.

04) Deadfall --> Death metal. I like this one. Sick intro, and even sicker outro. The outro riff is my favorite riff on this ablum. Unsure on the chorus though, either I will replace it with a new chorus or just take it out altogether, lemme know what you think about that.

05) Battle for Survival --> Only 7 string song on here. Kind of prog metal but not really. It's "different". Insane, and I mean absolutely insane drums. Some of you might be wondering why I did not use the extra string, the reason is the original solo for this song used all 7 strings (7 string sweeps), but I took that out of there b/c I can't play that fast (yet....), forgot to change this back to 6 strings, oh well.

06) The Harbinger of War --> Melodic death Metal. This one is all about fretwork, lots of leads/solos. Very cool outro solo, and the verse riff is pure fun to play and headbang to.

07) The Hallow Tree --> ? metal? You'll have to listen for yourself, I don't think it flows with the rest of the album and as such I'm thinking about replacing this one with my other song I recently posted titled "7th column", you be the judge and I will carry out the concensus.

08) Nidhogg --> Power metal. I LOVE THIS SONG. 2nd fav on album, its fast, its fun to play. Acoustic intro and a very cool breakdown as well.

09) Journey's End --> metalcore? Not sure what to think of this one, I may remove it from the final tracklist but you be the judge. It's too cliched and I think its been done to death, I only wrote this to see if I could perhaps bring new life to it but in the end I don't know what to think of it.

10) The Way the World Ends --> Death metal. Remember I said track 5 had insane drums? This is even more insanier, I doubt there's a drummer out there that can play this fast but the only reason I made it fast is b/c it sounds orgasmic to death metal fans. I think this is a great way to end an album. Very cool chorus too.



C4C as always, I truly hope you guys enjoy this album and I also hop that you guys will voice your opinions on what you think of it.

The filesize limit is too small for the zipped file I have so follow this link:

http://www.yousendit.com/download/UmNJYUo5bThwM25IRGc9PQ
*LINK UPDATED 8 APR 2009.

I will update the link every 5 days to ensure people can have access to the album, and please read the readme, it explains the backstory to this album and why I chose the titles for the songs!

==============
Last edited by cptazad at Apr 8, 2009,
#2
I will look at it tomorrow, time for bed, work in the morning, i posted in here just so i can find the thread again tomorrow.
#3
Just read the readme. Concept album, eh? Intergalactic Viking God battles? This is borderline ridiculous.

I ****ing love it.

Anyways, I'll post the critiques for each of the songs as I get to em.
Here goes:

To Enslave and Eradicate:
-I've heard this bit of the song a while back, it's alright. Compared to some of the other riffs it doesn't really seem to me to be strong enough to stand on its own as a solid album opener IMO.
-Pre Verse/Verse are some pretty decent riffs, and the machine gun drumming is cool. Just so you know though, the likelihood that you'll ever be able to find anyone capable of playing a lot of the beats in the album is nil. Programed drums ftw? I think so. Just so I don't get too sidetracked though, it leads nicely back into the chorus riff thingy.
-Transition/Tempo Change, hell yes. Nice transition, very heavy riffs, I love it. YEAH!
-Verse at bar 40 is pretty standard chugging, nothing too noteworthy here.
-Bar 50 is still all chuggy, though I must admit I'm a sucker for the tempo changes, which help to keep things nice and interesting.
-Bridge at 58 seems kind of frantic, I like it. Speeds things up.
-Pre solo tempo change riff thingy is well placed and leads into the solo quite well.
-I really like the rhythm part for the solo, and the drums help. With the actual lead part, I really like bars 72-75. Very creepy. I'm not so sure that I like when you go into the 16th note shredfest afterwords, I would have liked it more if you had built on that sort of feeling in the beginning. Really would have added another dimension to the song.
-More standard chugging ensues afterwords. Vocals should liven things up for it.
-Bar 109, tempo change! Cool riff, I like it quite a bit.
-I assume that the chords in the solo are going to be harmonized between separate guitars?
-Pre Verse at 137 is very cool, and I like how you lighten up the drum beat for it in the ensuing verse. Gives it a nice groove. Bar 145 is crazy double bass.
-173 is really cool, I like it. I caught myself headbanging on more than one occasion.

Overall very good, and if you tighten up the leads to have more attention grabbing melodies and such, and maybe spice up the chugging riffs, that'd be awesome. Also, a more definite ending than just fading out would be good.
I'm digging a lot of the riffs, good stuff!
Last edited by AA00P at Mar 28, 2009,
#4
The Way The World Ends
Thre was some nice riffs in this one. Reminds me Trivium a bit. I have to say the drums sound horrible because too much doublebass and cymbals, you have to clean up that a little. In the bars 28-32 do not repeat the solo, it doesn't sound so good. The solos in the end I really liked, sounded so chaotic in a good way. Very thrashy riffs there. I would say 7/10
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Founder of Opeth Fans Group
#5
The Way The World Ends.


I thought that the song was a more melodic death metal song. I didn't really like the intro but I think it would sound better if you PM'd it. I didn't like the main riff because of the dum, dum, dum, dum, urm! of it. It was to stoppy for my taste. I think you could of expanded more on the main riff. I didn't like that you didn't put more variety into the riff. Bar 20's riff was really good but I just wish there was more to the riff and more variety. I didn't like the main riff lead at all. It just didn't fit at all and it was to... out there. I loved the verse riff because it is such a change from the song. I really liked the chorus because it was so melodic death metal. It was simple and effective. I loved when the harmony kicked in, it was sick! Overall, the song is pretty cool and with a few changes it can be great.
#6
Quote by AA00P

-I've heard this bit of the song a while back, it's alright. Compared to some of the other riffs it doesn't really seem to me to be strong enough to stand on its own as a solid album opener IMO.

Hmm, I thought it sounds cool but I'm listening to it now and you're right, I completely forgot that this is an album opener. I'll replace it with another riff today when I get the time.
Quote by AA00P

-Pre Verse/Verse are some pretty decent riffs, and the machine gun drumming is cool. Just so you know though, the likelihood that you'll ever be able to find anyone capable of playing a lot of the beats in the album is nil. Programed drums ftw? I think so.

2 words: Tim Yeung. Haha, the drumming was supposed to follow the lines of Vital Remains....supposed to anyway.
Quote by AA00P

-I really like the rhythm part for the solo, and the drums help. With the actual lead part, I really like bars 72-75. Very creepy. I'm not so sure that I like when you go into the 16th note shredfest afterwords, I would have liked it more if you had built on that sort of feeling in the beginning. Really would have added another dimension to the song.

Ya, bar 72-75 was a fun one to come up with haha, it does sound kinda creepy I think it also sounds kind of like "**** ya! you're about to die" haha. I'll come up with an alternate solo today that starts off the same and leads into the 16th note fretwork, I quite enjoy playing this solo its a lot of fun, the sweeps are a lot easier then they look (since I don't have to roll my fingers, thank god, I hate rolling).
Quote by AA00P

-I assume that the chords in the solo are going to be harmonized between separate guitars?

Yup, anything that isn't a traditional chord in my songs will be harmonized with 2 guitars.
Quote by AA00P

-Pre Verse at 137 is very cool, and I like how you lighten up the drum beat for it in the ensuing verse. Gives it a nice groove. Bar 145 is crazy double bass.

My favorite riff of the song! I'm glad someone likes it =D
Quote by AA00P

Also, a more definite ending than just fading out would be good.
I'm digging a lot of the riffs, good stuff!

You'll notice a lot of my songs kind of just fade, the reason is I'm not very good at ending a song, and the way I wanted this album to work is for each song to kind of flow into one another, like distortion carried on from the end of one song to the intro of another. So I took the lazy way out and faded most of the songs in this album, it will not be the final result since this is only a template.

Thanks for the lengthy crit! I'll try and implement most of the things you pointed out today, I'll upload the revised stuff on Monday once I've made sure it sounds good after hearing it a billion times haha, have a good one man!

Quote by AA00P

-173 is really cool, I like it. I caught myself headbanging on more than one occasion.

It's an honor to hear that my stuff makes people headbang, keep it metal bro
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Mar 28, 2009,
#7
The Harbringer of War

The drums are ridiculous. But, in a good way, even if they sound constricting and mindboggling. The riffing is standard melodic death fare, but far more sinister than your usual In Flames worship band.

The intro was a bit wanky for my tastes, but indeed good lead. The classical influenced tremolo at the Bridge (bar 38) was awesome. That's what I like in melodeath, classical influence.

The chuggy parts were okay, but not my favorite...boy am I glad you brought back the classical riff. You even expanded it a little, sounds like a less Middle-Eastern, more Baroque/Romantic Nile.

I especially loved the harmonization there, but then the lead was kind of okay . Classical, sort of Cryptopsy riff back again. Then the solo.

Much, much better than the previous leads, very cool. Reminded me of Dark Tranquility meets Quo Vadis (the Canadian one). I like the death metal riff you threw in as well. Not a huge fan of the outro lead, but it's a good exercise...I may try it later

Highlights:

- the main solo
- The classical tremolo riffing
- the death metal tremolo after the solo
- Flo Mounier/Tim Yueng spastico drumming

Downfalls

- Intro lead was sweepfest '09
- The chuggychug riffs/verses

8.9/10 Almost 9 worthy, but the overabundance of sweeps and chuggies dropped that .1
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#8
The Way The World Ends
Well, the intro gets right into it. Haha cool bass sweeps at 5 and it's pretty cool how you changed it up by changing the chords into the arpeggios at 12.

Maybe to change the drums/rhythm up a bit anywhere from the intro to the bridge, slow down the kick some. Either 16ths or 8th note triplets with cymbals on all 4 beats and snare on beat 3 would probably sound pretty good over this. Basically what you have from bar 7 to 8 but with a different double bass rhythm. Try introducing this rhythm possibly at 12 because that's where the 32nd notes start sounding old to me.

I absolutely love the riff you have going at 20. The instrumentation blends VERY well there. Aaaaaannd holy cheese, dissonance at 28. That sounds really creepy and dark, really nice job there.

For the verse I wouldn't have changed the key from the chord you had at 41. I'm just thinking here about all of the cool things you could have done with that. Nevertheless, I like the drum rhythms you have going on in the verse. Bars 49 and 50 for the guitars and bass just hit me like where the heck did that come from (not in the best way). It seems completely out of context. Anyway, if you want to keep that, just go ahead and change one of the guitars to power chords on 9 and 8 on the bottom 2 strings. Balances out better.

The chorus sounds bland now but it'd obviously sound a LOT better with vocals. Pretty much all I have to say there.

The economy picking solo is great, refreshes with the creepy, fearsome, scary sound I mentioned back at 28. Gotta love those pinch harmonics in there huh? Pretty good transition back into the main riff as well. The tapping at 122 brings a helluva lot to that main riff and it just gets better with the harmony.

Maaaaybe at the Pre-Chorus you can have some different drum rhythms to accentuate the 16ths on the higher strings that the guitars play. That's a big maybe though, it sounds pretty solid as it.

The breakdown is a bit disappointing. Spice up the rhythm on the guitars so it's not so... boring (sorry). Add in some auxiliary kicks on the double bass from 56 to 59 (*the stuff you have going now at 59 is good). That'll make it sound pretty cool since you brought down the tempo a lot. Sweeps are pretty cool at 160 because they do a bit to spice up the breakdown from what it is right now. The whole breakdown would probably sound significantly better with vocals but it can still be quite a bit better.

Drums you have going at 167 are some stuff! Pretty cool. I like how you stopped the guitars at 171 for that bit of bass. The transition back to the main riff in the outro could be a little better, but it's fine. Maybe change up the kick rhythm again in the outro to make it a bit more interesting. And the ending... that came off to me as just anticlimactic, lame, and lazy. The world definitely does not end with an arpeggio that leaves everyone hanging as long as I'm here to say something about it. Add in a short and percussive open string power chord right after that last arpeggio. As an alternative to that, add in a long, dissonant chord.

Overall, GREAT song. Pretty excellent musicianship here. I liked a lot of the darkness and spooky sounding stuff. It was pretty long, but well used, I enjoyed listening to it a lot. Great job.

Probably the biggest downside is that the drums do get a little boring with the constant double bass 32nds, so clean that up a bit.
#9
Quote by stedman_rh
Maybe to change the drums/rhythm up a bit anywhere from the intro to the bridge, slow down the kick some. Either 16ths or 8th note triplets with cymbals on all 4 beats and snare on beat 3 would probably sound pretty good over this. Basically what you have from bar 7 to 8 but with a different double bass rhythm. Try introducing this rhythm possibly at 12 because that's where the 32nd notes start sounding old to me.
Hmm, I'll try this out today and see what it sounds like, you and the other guys that have critted this song all have the same thing to say haha, change the drums a bit. And I agree, you have to keep in mind I am no drummer so I work with what I have. But ya, 32nd notes do get boring after a while.


Aaaaaannd holy cheese, dissonance at 28. That sounds really creepy and dark, really nice job there.

Ya, that's the one lead out of this entire album that I actually sat down and wrote instead of improving, took a good while too since I dont' usually "sit down and write" solos/leads. I think it sounds great and adds to the song a lot, glad someone noticed!



Maaaaybe at the Pre-Chorus you can have some different drum rhythms to accentuate the 16ths on the higher strings that the guitars play. That's a big maybe though, it sounds pretty solid as it.

Good idea, I'll give this a go as well today when I re do the drums for this song (not all of it will be changed but a vast majority).


The breakdown is a bit disappointing. Spice up the rhythm on the guitars so it's not so... boring (sorry). Add in some auxiliary kicks on the double bass from 56 to 59 (*the stuff you have going now at 59 is good). That'll make it sound pretty cool since you brought down the tempo a lot. Sweeps are pretty cool at 160 because they do a bit to spice up the breakdown from what it is right now. The whole breakdown would probably sound significantly better with vocals but it can still be quite a bit better.
I will admit that it was laziness on my part for this song's breakdown, after a while of writing you kinda get stuck so a simpler of saying that is I just ran out of ideas. I'll come up w/ a new breakdown today, that, or I'll just dump the breakdown for a cooler sounding instrumental riff or something.


Drums you have going at 167 are some stuff! Pretty cool. I like how you stopped the guitars at 171 for that bit of bass. The transition back to the main riff in the outro could be a little better, but it's fine. Maybe change up the kick rhythm again in the outro to make it a bit more interesting.
Once again, ran out of ideas on how to transition (that, and I was getting frustrated with this song in general). I'll re do the transition today along w/ the drums and breakdown.

And the ending... that came off to me as just anticlimactic, lame, and lazy. The world definitely does not end with an arpeggio that leaves everyone hanging as long as I'm here to say something about it. Add in a short and percussive open string power chord right after that last arpeggio. As an alternative to that, add in a long, dissonant chord.

Will do, dissonant chord sounds like the best option. Thanks for the crit man!


I'm surprised no one has critted Failures of Our Protectors, Path to Salvation...Road to Infection and Nidhogg yet, in my opinion, those are the stand out songs on this album! You guys are missing out! haha
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#10
2. Failures of Our Protectors

Got a little bit more time today so I'll crit this one too

To start off, love the little intro with the helicopter seashore stuff sets the mood for the song very well.

VERY sick intro lead, that's amazing. Absolutely love everything in the pre verse, would definitely not change anything here. Pretty cool how the bass follows the lead along for the verse.

The harmonies in the pre chorus riff are pretty unconventional (at least not what I was expecting) and that's great. It makes it sound original.

The bridge is just like well... there. Section of the song that stands out the least to me so far, but it's okay, keep it don't change it. There are always just going to be parts of songs like that.

The chorus is basically the same as the verse back at 17, so try doing a bit to distinguish one from the other.

The solo is damn excellent. Some serious shredding in there. Not all of it sounds like it's in key, but that makes it sound even cooler, believe it or not. Really awesome stuff in here.

And that transition/modulation into the breakdown is gold. The rhythm for the breakdown is pretty basic, but it's great because it's heavy and will have people kicking @$$ in the pit. Some cool drum rhythms going on in there as well. The thing that kinda ruined it is what the rhythm track starts doing at 62. I don't think it's working very well, so maybe try staying in the minor key a bit more. Here's a barely changed version of what's going on at 62 that sounds a little better . Don't use it if you don't want to:


|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-3-0-3-0-5-0-5-7-|--0-0-0-0-5-0-3-0-3-0-2-0-2-0-3-0-|
 
  
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-3-0-3-0-5-0-5-7-|--0-0-0-0-5-0-3-5-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-|


Starting at 66 maybe add in some dissonance (I'm thinking some minor 2nds, no?) and some pinch harmonics just for contrast and to spice it up.

The outro lead is again brilliant and it just sounds awesome, I want to keep listening to it.

Overall, VERY exciting song, had a great time listening to it. I really enjoy evaluating your writing
#11
Quote by stedman_rh
2. Failures of Our Protectors

Got a little bit more time today so I'll crit this one too

To start off, love the little intro with the helicopter seashore stuff sets the mood for the song very well.

VERY sick intro lead, that's amazing. Absolutely love everything in the pre verse, would definitely not change anything here. Pretty cool how the bass follows the lead along for the verse.

The harmonies in the pre chorus riff are pretty unconventional (at least not what I was expecting) and that's great. It makes it sound original.

The bridge is just like well... there. Section of the song that stands out the least to me so far, but it's okay, keep it don't change it. There are always just going to be parts of songs like that.

The chorus is basically the same as the verse back at 17, so try doing a bit to distinguish one from the other.

The solo is damn excellent. Some serious shredding in there. Not all of it sounds like it's in key, but that makes it sound even cooler, believe it or not. Really awesome stuff in here.

And that transition/modulation into the breakdown is gold. The rhythm for the breakdown is pretty basic, but it's great because it's heavy and will have people kicking @$$ in the pit. Some cool drum rhythms going on in there as well. The thing that kinda ruined it is what the rhythm track starts doing at 62. I don't think it's working very well, so maybe try staying in the minor key a bit more. Here's a barely changed version of what's going on at 62 that sounds a little better . Don't use it if you don't want to:


|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-3-0-3-0-5-0-5-7-|--0-0-0-0-5-0-3-0-3-0-2-0-2-0-3-0-|


|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|----------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-3-0-3-0-5-0-5-7-|--0-0-0-0-5-0-3-5-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-|


Starting at 66 maybe add in some dissonance (I'm thinking some minor 2nds, no?) and some pinch harmonics just for contrast and to spice it up.

The outro lead is again brilliant and it just sounds awesome, I want to keep listening to it.

Overall, VERY exciting song, had a great time listening to it. I really enjoy evaluating your writing


Thanks for the detailed crit! I appreciate the time you took to give me your inputs, I put in the riff you posted into the breakdown and it sounds pretty damn cool but the sound I was going for was kind of off key, I can't really put my finger on it but listen to the breakdown again (my version) and listen to the one you posted, mine just sounds stranger. For now I'll keep my riff but your riff does sound delicious over the breakdown layer haha.

The bridge, yea, every song has that little "down time", I wasn't sure what to put in riff wise as a break so I chose that. What I will do for the final version is put an overdub over it and when it repeats for the 2nd time I'll add harmony to the overdub. Now in terms of what the overdub is, I was thinking either a lead or just some riffing over the chug-chug palm muting, I'll see what fits.

The chorus, the toughest part of this song was trying to come up w/ a chorus. Obv. I just couldn't get anything to fit/flow w/ this song so I reused the main riff, I'll come up w/ a catchier chours today, I'm thinking octaves.

I'm happy to hear you liked the song, you're the first person to crit it too! I was expecting the first crit on this thread to be either Failures of Our Protectors or Nidhogg (Nidhogg is a sick song btw, if you liked this song you'll love Nidhogg, check it out when you get a chance!)
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Mar 30, 2009,
#12
Sorry for the late crit, I've been busy all week.

Harbinger of War

The intro was pretty cool... the part with the sweeps reminds me a little bit of Psalm of Lydia, and the second riff reminds me a little bit of Holy Wars/

The main riff does a good job at building in intensity, and the drumming at bar 13 are pretty mind-bogglingly insane.

I'm not a massive fan of the crazy fast tremolo picked lines in the bridge, but it's pretty much a hallmark of death metal, so I can't really say anything about it.

The pre-verse sounds more evil than the other melodic-death bands that I've heard. It's pretty chuggy though, but it's nice to see that the bass is prominent, and the harmonized legato licks sound good.

I liked how the bass complimented the tremolo picked riff starting at bar 38.

The chorus is honestly, probably my least favorite part of the song. It seems sort of bland in comparison to the previous riffs, if there were lyrics this probably wouldn't be an issue. Nice fretwork on bar 71.

The post-chorus had some nice sweeps! I really like the solo. I actually sat down and learned the licks in bars 97-100 and 109-110. The lick that the rhythm guitar plays from 101-103 is very Steve Vai sounding to me, not sure if that was what you were going for.

The outro was in my opinion, the best part of the song. The lead work is amazing, and the melodies in bars 137-138 are pretty catchy, I think.

I agree with Slaytanic, in that the song was a little over-chuggy. Still amazing, though, I give it a 9/10. I'd love to hear a recorded version of it.

By the way, thanks for critting mine, and sorry for the late crit.
#13
Having listened to a couple of them, my biggest problem with it is the chug. Chugging reminded me of deathcore which is never a good thing. Ever.

But, my other gripe is the sweeps/technical stuff. There's just so much. So much that it gets boring [this is my problem with tech death and Dream Theater], and sounds like musical masturbation to me.

However, there are loads of good riffs in there, so good job. Just not my style.
#14
epic. i just finished the first two songs and just read the track listing/overview. im interested to read the novel. perhaps you could post a chapter or two on UG?
#15
I would critic but I cannot download the file for the download button doesn't work!!
"Fly with me forever high
And with these wings
We'll set the world on fire
Fly with me through scorching skies
You and I - The lie of lies"

-Symphony X
#17
Updated link:

http://www.yousendit.com/download/UmNLQk0yRSttMEpMWEE9PQ

@breakdown123, I will upload chapters 1 and 2 sometime in mid April, I just have to edit it all first since theres a lot of plot holes and what not in it, this is the first time I'm actually writing a novel length piece, the only time I write stuff is for University and I hate writing haha, but I'm finding working on this novel is actually a lot of fun.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#18
To Enslave And Eradicate - Literally the only thing I didn't like was the drums in the first chorus. Everything else was really cool. maybe change up the hits so its no kicksnareopenhat/kicktomopenhat the entire time. It really muddies everything up. The riffs were cool. I really loved the riff at bar 10, the Pre-Verse. It just stomps and slams. I love it. Will crit the rest as I listen to them.
#19
Amazing songs, the drums are crazy in almost every song you have, I specially liked The Way the World Ends, very heavy, headbangable music, the solo of that song was also pretty crazy in an awesome way...

Good job dude, I'd kill babies to see the recorded versions of the songs.
#20
Quote by Portuguese_boy
Amazing songs, the drums are crazy in almost every song you have, I specially liked The Way the World Ends, very heavy, headbangable music, the solo of that song was also pretty crazy in an awesome way...

Good job dude, I'd kill babies to see the recorded versions of the songs.



hahaha, it will happen. I'll be recording it with a drum machine this summer, all I need is a 4 track or something.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#21
The file has expired, can you reupload it so I can crit?
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#24
it says the link expired...
Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


Some of My Recent Songs

[thread="1403441"]Synthetic Damage WIP[/thread]

[thread="1350364"]The Nightman Awakens[/thread]

[thread="1322579"]Into the Sunset WIP[/thread]

[thread="1296556"]Frost[/thread]
[thread="1247340"]The Butter Knife Massacre[/thread]
[thread="1253933"]Into The Sparta Pit[/thread]

[thread="1224038"]Untitled Tech Thing[/thread]
#26
Quote by cptazad


thanks ill be sure to crit ^^
Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


Some of My Recent Songs

[thread="1403441"]Synthetic Damage WIP[/thread]

[thread="1350364"]The Nightman Awakens[/thread]

[thread="1322579"]Into the Sunset WIP[/thread]

[thread="1296556"]Frost[/thread]
[thread="1247340"]The Butter Knife Massacre[/thread]
[thread="1253933"]Into The Sparta Pit[/thread]

[thread="1224038"]Untitled Tech Thing[/thread]
#27
Quote by champayne
thanks ill be sure to crit ^^


Thanks! I'm going to start writing the 2nd album to this trilogy next week.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#28
I listened almost the whole album (8 tracks), and sound pretty solid. Some things sounded nice, like the main riff of Deadfall was awesome. Also in Hallow Tree @ 2:13 the riff is great.

Well, I'll say a word or two about Nidhogg. The intro is pretty bland... doesn't stick in mind that well, you know. Could go as background music, since it's solid stuff. You apparently work as I do, if it doesn't sound good then it must go. The transition part @ 1:00 works really well and the heavier riff after that is great.

The solo bit @ 1:53 doesn't sound that good. It's just that I've heard that too many times. Nothing wrong there, but nothing interesting either. Also the riff @ 2:10 has a nice melodic feel to it and the solo guitar there does a great job. I'd maybe give that run some sorta boost tho. Second guitar maybe doing a harmony and then more volume.

@ 2:58 starts the more tiring part. It's a nice contrast, but I think there was enough as it was. This part gives the song a more apocalyptic feel, and when produced right, could be the hilight of the song, but in guitar pro, doesn't work so well.

The solo @ 3:52 is crazy. It doesn't seem to go anywhere. The first measure is great but after that it just... yeah... does whatever. The background guitar works there better than the solo itself.

In my opinion there should be one more riff before the outro. The transition between those tunes sounds a little too awkward for me, but maybe works for you.

Well, not as long crit as you gave to my song, but I hope you get something out of it. Overall I liked a lot of what you had done, but this really isn't my kinda music. I like more happy happy, joy joy.
#29
On every updated link. The link has expired. Please re-upload.
Gear
Ibanez GRG170DX
Bluerock Begginers Strat
Fender Acoustic
Bluerock Begginers 10W Amp
Lne 6 Spider 3 15
Gear to come
Les Paul Copy(Fixing up to be good)