#1
Me and my friend have been working on a a song, and I've been trying to keep it from being to cliche..it's my first time writing a song.

I may not be your hero,
but I still shine in the light

When you seek for a savior,
I long for a fight.

We're always lost in the sky,
never to be found,

If I fall I still expect you to come around.

The fights you think you'll never see,
always come to show who we'll be
And even when you're gone,
I won't forget the lesson you taught
I will always be wrong.

We do have our times,
I'll miss your smile,

I'll go off to think,
and be back after awhile.

I'll pretend it never happened,
you'll keep it in mind,

You know it'll be the same thing if you just it time.

then another chorus. C4C..
meh
#2
Not bad at all for a first song. Not bad at all for any song really. The rhythm was a little weird in places, but I played with it in my head and managed to make it work every time, so that's not a problem. I think you left out the word "give" in the last line. I assume, otherwise that line doesn't make any sense

Overall, it wasn't really cliche, so I think you succeeded at dodging that bullet, but it was kinda plain. There weren't really any images that reached out and grabbed me. "Hero" and "savior" are kinda plain words. I'm not sure what you could replace them with, but I'm really hesitant to suggest that you try to rewrite those lines since there isn't really much else wrong with them. Pretty much the only thing that I really see holding this piece back from being amazing is just somewhat bland language. If you could find a way to spice it up, this song would be pretty awesome. If you could crit Doppelganger Rose, I'd really appreciate it. Keep up the good work, and keep writing for sure. This is a great start here.