#1
Here's a new thing I've been writing. It's only the first two verse paragraphs, and will be updated whenever I write more lyrics. It should be sung like the Anthony Kiedis rap-funk style, maybe try setting it to the tune of Power Of Equality. Crit for crit.

NOTE: Edited lines will be in BOLD.

I'm a-rockin' and a-sittin' on the edge of my seat
I've got a life for livin' and I'm taking the heat
Walkin' down a road that's a one way street
Look before ya cross or you're gonna get beat

Everybody needs a hero but I'm just a zero
My words are like the wind that you never seem to hear-oh
One drop, Show stops
When you tell me to back off my mind spins like a top
Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro
Fender Blues Jr.
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Ibanez Tubescreamer TS9

THE WHO
Last edited by stratomaster15 at Mar 29, 2009,
#2
The last line sucks, sounds too Vanilla Ice-ish, the rest of it sounds kinda cool, interested in seeing the full song.

I was able to come up with a cool melody over a Am-E-F-C progression, sounded mad as..

I don't understand the "one drop, show stops" part though, since you just explained you're a zero and whoever the songs to doesn't hear your words..
So how could "one drop" be powerful to stop the show, unless that drop isn't from you?

And what is the "drop"?
#3
"One drop, Show stops" Is saying that if I mess something up (One drop) then whatever respect she has left for me is lost (Show stops).

I wasn't too pleased with the last line myself, sounded dumb to me. I'll see what I can do with it today.

Thanks for your input!

Ironically, the funk progression I wrote while jamming with my drummer was in Am.
Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro
Fender Blues Jr.
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Ibanez Tubescreamer TS9

THE WHO
#4
Ah fair enough, I get the one drop, show stops part now..

Look forward to seeing the whole song.
#5
Thanks, I got my guitar back, so I'll be working more of it out with my basic guitar beat under it! .
Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro
Fender Blues Jr.
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Ibanez Tubescreamer TS9

THE WHO