#1
2 down
and who knows how much more
I thought
we were fine the way we were
Our Plan
will fail as usual
Oh well
maybe next time
maybe next time
maybe next time
maybe next time
or not at all
Shot down
I'm used to it now
Hands out
to pull me back on up
Thanks hun
it meant alot to me
Oh Well
maybe next time
maybe next time
maybe next time
maybe next time
or not at all
( i was going for like an indie song constructive criticism is encouraged)
Last edited by d3mon slay at Mar 29, 2009,
#2
Constructive criticism isn't going to be coming for long, because I'm sure this will get closed in about 30 seconds for improper titling of the thread (if you don't have a title for the piece, just put "Untitled"). Anyways, depending on how you sing it, it could work. It wasn't particularly powerful or anything. Kinda average. Has potential, but as it is it doesn't do much for me. The best thing to do would be to add some unique, fresh language to it, because right now, everything you're saying is something I've heard in some place or another without really switching it up much. So try to switch it up some. Best of luck, and repost this after it gets closed with a proper title.
Last edited by theoneandonlyq at Mar 29, 2009,