gnomieowns
UG's Fluffer
Join date: Apr 2008
538 IQ
#1
something i randomly came up with. kind of reminds me of Paul Gilbert. i was originally going to go in a more jazzier direction (hence the intro), but when i came up with the main riff(s) i decided "what the hell?"! tell me what you think.

EDIT: more versions below!
Attachments:
fusion.gp5
fusion.gp4
fusion.mid
Last edited by gnomieowns at Apr 27, 2009,
cullanrocks
Moonshine
Join date: Sep 2008
603 IQ
#2
the intro was epic. it just seems random because it doesnt flow into the main riff whatsoever. this made the rest of the song seem somewhat boring because i was expecting more of the intro riff. i mean the instrumentals are good just not amazing.

but honestly play around with that first part more because that alone has so much potential.

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1101885
gnomieowns
UG's Fluffer
Join date: Apr 2008
538 IQ
#3
yeah i guess that intro riff could be more of a chorus instead of the other part that seems to act as a chorus. didn't really work too much on verse/chorus/bridge order. :P
Grimmy101
Grimdog
Join date: Aug 2006
537 IQ
#4
I actually thought basically the opposite as the person above me. I found the intro to be a bit boring to be honest, if it led into something that it flowed better with I think it would be a lot better though. To me, the first 20 seconds just seems like a random intro to the rest of the song.In a different song though that intro could be put to better use.

However, after that first seconds I found the song to be a lot better. Like you said, it does remind me a bit of Paul Gilbert as well and the riffs are all pretty good, nothing I really don't like but at the same time nothing that really just stood out to me, although your first riff right after the intro was pretty cool.

I think the intro is just interrupting the flow of this song but aside from that it wasn't too bad, pretty good start, nice job.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1114592
herby190
UnBanned
Join date: Mar 2008
7,674 IQ
#5
I didn't really like the intro, to be honest. Other than that, I liked it, all the bends and vibratos and harmonics and stuff really keep you off guard, and, in this case, it works. I don't really have anything else to say.

C4C?
gnomieowns
UG's Fluffer
Join date: Apr 2008
538 IQ
#6
alright, so i've edited it a bit - put the catchy riff in more times as well as another "verse." also added an outro. i just left the intro because it seems empty without it, like you're just jumping into the song.

do you think there's a need for a main solo? anything else? thx guys.
Attachments:
fusion2.gp5
fusion2.gp4
fusion2.mid
Julz127
And.
Join date: Mar 2008
1,065 IQ
#7
DUDE!

If I ever make a TV show you are so doing the theme.

That was awesome Except for that synth intro thing, I'd lose that if I were you.

I reckon you should put a solo in it, Mainly cos I wanna hear what you can come up with.
return 0;

Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
Last edited by Julz127 at Apr 26, 2009,
randomthought9
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2006
970 IQ
#8
i'm gonna have to concur with everyone else. the intro, while not being bad was unnecessary. it feels out of place, and the intro riff is already a strong intro.

i like the riff for the intro. the riff on bar 14-15 isn't bad, but it is repeated a little much. you could even play it once, and it would probably work. i like the transition to the verse. good drums, and i like the guitar.

i like the verse. the guitar riff is catchy, and it's got a nice groove with the bass and drums.

the pre chorus isn't bad. no complaints there.

the chorus is pretty good. it's catchy, and i like the extra guitar you added. it gives it more power that a chorus needs. the riff on 42-43 as i said maybe put in another little 1-2 bar riff to give it some variation? instead of the same riff 3X. it's not a bad riff by any means, i just think another one would keep it sounding fresh.

the bridge isn't bad, it does have a different tone then the rest of the tune. it's more tense, especially when you hold it on bar 54. i'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just different.

for the outro, i'd probably hold the f chord from the chorus for a bar. the outro just feels thinner after the chorus, i think that would make a smoother transition. or keep the bass in. i liked the harmony, that was a nice surprise.

i agree, this does sound like a tv theme for sure. i like the tune, it's very fun sounding i think. it's basically done, maybe play around with a few small things, but it's pretty much done i would say.

i would agree with everyone, and say remove the intro. and i think you should put in a solo, to answer your question. this song is so guitar based, and riff based, it would fit in so good. overall, good tune. just some small changes you can make, but it's like 99% done in my opinion.

C4C?? wanna crit sharks? it's in my sig.
flaphead325
Sr Bartolomew Shredman IV
Join date: Jan 2008
1,214 IQ
#9
It's a pretty good instrumental song, the is a good melody, but i don't like the intro.

I think that if it was imediately brutal at the begining, it would be better

Plus, you can add a rhythm guitar, because it sounds good, but sometimes it's empty

By the way I really like the bridge part, it sounds like the sex pistols :p

Thanks for your critic
gnomieowns
UG's Fluffer
Join date: Apr 2008
538 IQ
#10
hey guys, i've tweaked her some more. added a solo and put that wonderful bridge to use! also removed the long intro - i'll use it somewhere else. and i used more rhythm guitar.

anyway i used some phyrigian sounding stuff in the solo, but i'm not 100% positive that it works well. anyway, tell me what ya think?

i'm just gonna post GP5, if anyone else needs GP4/MIDI you can ask. no point in wasting server space!
Attachments:
fusionGP.zip
Yevrag35
Garvey
Join date: Aug 2008
133 IQ
#11
wow great song dude. only thing i would say is that, why don't you make the intro/verse riff the chorus riff. And then in turn making the pre-chorus riff the verse riff, and finally the chorus riff the pre-chorus riff. Basically giving the names a shove backwards one marker. Because when i was listening to the verse riff i could've sworn it was the chorus, and blah blah etc. Other than that great song
9.5/10!

Keep up the great work.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1102711
Last edited by Yevrag35 at Apr 29, 2009,
DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#12
Thank you for the crit, and sorry for the late one!

Intro Riff/Intro: Not bad so far. I like the melody. The slide in it gives it a nice feel.

Verse I: This is really groovy. I like it. I can definitely feel the groove and Paul Gilbert in it.

Pre-chorus: This reminds me of Crush 40... you ever listen to them? They're good, and this song reminds me of them.

Chorus: It's good, but it's not catchy enough for me. Maybe harmonize the lead?

Solo: I like it so far. I like your phrasing and note choice. It's very nicely done. This part doesn't particularly remind me of Paul Gilbert, it's just good :] Nicely done.

Post-Solo/Bridge: I like it... it's short, but I still wanted to say that xD

Outro: I like it. The harmony just adds alot more to it. But after the last note, I was expecting a sudden "BAM" of drums and guitar and stuff. Y'know what I mean? Just to finish it off for good.

Overall, it's pretty good. I would up the second guitar... it gets lost when it needs to be heard, but I like having a strong second guitar in my songs, so it's up to you. Not alot to say, it's a strong song with some good melodies :]

8.5/10
A Rock Bassist
BTBAM baby
Join date: May 2009
390 IQ
#13
The intro felt like it had nothing to do with the rest of the song, but aside from that I loved it. The riff beginning at 22 is awesome, I even picked up my guitar and learnt it. The little tapping section after sounds a little thrown in, but good nonetheless.

I agree with the above posters that a harmony guitar should come in when the 22 riff kicks in the second time, to give it a bit of oomph. Also, a bigger ending is needed, maybe even a nice shredding drum pounding AC/DC ending.

8/10

EDIT: Didn't notice you had a new version, this is much better. Still think the outro needs some work, but you improved everything I said

Now a nice healthy 9/10
Last edited by A Rock Bassist at May 14, 2009,
champayne
Sexual Harassment Panda
Join date: Sep 2006
843 IQ
#14
Whole piece is very original, and your work in general seems unique. I didn't like the intro though. It sounds pretty cool at first, but it seems to have difficulty repeating. And it really doesn't really fit in with the rest of the song; the song could just start without the intro. After that though, the song was really catchy and upbeat. I enjoyed the drums, I've never really heard stuff like that before (I guess I'm used to just your basic snare and hi-hat... and fast as hell double bass and blast-beats). It really did sound like a TV show opening, but I guess I'm saying what everyone else is saying by this whole crit. Good job!
Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


Some of My Recent Songs

[thread="1403441"]Synthetic Damage WIP[/thread]

[thread="1350364"]The Nightman Awakens[/thread]

[thread="1322579"]Into the Sunset WIP[/thread]

[thread="1296556"]Frost[/thread]
[thread="1247340"]The Butter Knife Massacre[/thread]
[thread="1253933"]Into The Sparta Pit[/thread]

[thread="1224038"]Untitled Tech Thing[/thread]
StewieSwan
Decent User
Join date: Feb 2009
5,012 IQ
#15
May I start by saying PLEASE JUST EDIT YOUR ORIGINAL POST TO CONTAIN THE NEW VERSIONS! Nobody wants to download the GP only to find out that they have to listen to a newer version of the song anyways. I'm not really upset because this one was short enough that it isn't that irritating, but if it was a 6 minute song i'd have to relisten to I'd be really mad.

Now that that's out of the way..

Fine intro, although i'm not a fan of the tremolo bar thing.
Prechorus 1 is alright, but the drums kinda made it a bit bland.
Chorus is fine.
Verse 2 is good as well.
The solo was good except for bars 85-88. They were comically bad.
Didn't care for the dissonant outro.


Sorry if this crit wasn't very in-depth. I've had a bad day and I'm tired

Good song though. Keep it up.
666atheist666
Msu_Man04
UG's Twitchy Fella
Join date: Jan 2007
1,811 IQ
#16
Absolutely epic. Reminds me a LOT of Joe Satriani. I love the beginning (it actually reminded me of Foo Fighters - "Friend of a Friend"). I love how... colorful the guitar was at first. When it gets to bar 22, it's very funky and awesome. Normally I'm not a fan of using the diminished fifth, but I like how it makes it sound... uh... almost like James Bond or Mission Impossible. XD. I dunno what word to use.

I don't NOT like any parts. The intro is wildly different than the rest, but I still love it; it keeps you on your toes.

9/10. Keep it up.

Crit mine? Tonight at 10, in the sig.
Momentosis
UG's Ace
Join date: May 2007
2,310 IQ
#18
Yeah, was kinda bothered be the divebomb harmonics as well.

The whole thing sounded kinda off to me the whole time.

The Pre Chorus and the Post Solo part were the only parts that sounded good to me.

The Outro I liked as well.