Wednesday Bass
UG's big hairy bassist
Join date: Aug 2007
177 IQ
#1
Chorus
Lie to me,
Make me feel good,
Honesty’s not free,
Look me in the eye
Lie to me,
I know you’ll apologize,
Truth in my nightmares,
You’ll set me free

Verse 1
Talk if you must,
I'm already listening,
You tell the truth,
And destroy my trust
In you.

Chorus

Solo

Verse 2
Lies are your life
Flow through your veins
Look me in the face
Let trust be displaced

Chorus

Solo


Been a while since I've tried to write lyrics so input would be greatly appreciated. Got some music to go with the lyrics as well and this is as far as I've got with the music as well.
Last edited by Wednesday Bass at May 22, 2009,
stratomaster15
Registered Loozer
Join date: Oct 2008
360 IQ
#2
REALLY really like the chorus! First verse is pretty good, verse two is great also. Great work so far! Are you going to add anything to it? Mind checking out mine too? I'm such a bad critic, I'm sorry... It's hard to describe things that need to be changed for me, but for 95% of the time I really liked it! I'd be interested in hearing the music with it too.
Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro
Fender Blues Jr.
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Ibanez Tubescreamer TS9

THE WHO
Wulf5577
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
74 IQ
#4
I think the "truth in my nightmares line" of the chorus feels a little out of place, and it would flow alot better if you made the "And destroy my trust in you" part of the first verse if you made it all one line. Didn't find much wrong with this; I thought it was great and yes, the chorus was catchy!

If you want to check out a song I'm working on:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1130454