#3
Measure numbers are not labelled?


I tried.


Anyways, I'll take a gander at this.


The 1st 15s has DEP all over it. Like Ben Weinman spooged on it and it mutated.
It's quite shocking to see it all regression it a soothing, "straight-forth" melodic segment. "...and she'll rub it in her pussy, try to get herself pregnant."
Got love the Technique.

(I avoid looking at the tab versions of comps now, so I won't be super-specific, in terms of measures and such.)
Last edited by huevos at May 30, 2009,
#4
It sounds like synth heavy Rush mixed with the DEP.
Maybe U2 wouldn't suck so hard if they stopped preaching and started rocking instead. Of course, that's difficult to do with Pantera holding a near monopoly on all things that rock.
-Maddox.
#5
Well, three words describe this best...

What. The. ****.

The first minute or so, I really liked, but I didn't like a lot of the rest of it, I'm not a huge fan of mathcore, I'll admit, but it was just really jumpy in places, and I couldn't listen to it, but then I gave it a few and listened again, and I liked it more, I still think its jumpy, but it is also genius in its way, I like the random jazzy-funk bass stuff, and some of the sudden stops work well, but alot of it is very jumbled, though I'm assuming you went for that kind of sound.

So I'd give it a 4/10, but 10/10 for how creative it is, though I may not like it alot, I really like the way you approached the phrasing, arrangement, etc. Again, I don't like alot of math-rock/metal/core, but I could see a fan of this genre ****ing thereselfs over this.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1135246 C4C?
#8
The main riff sounds like you altered part of a DEP song but the rest of the song is incredible,I'd love to hear an actual recording.
Quote by NorseGodofRock
All the elitist self righteous douches in here inflating their egos with spiel about how "pick = not a bassist" can slice off their cocks and shove them up their asses. Make sure to remove the stick you apparently have lodged up there, though.
#9
Love it man. Keep up the good work! Not interested in giving a detailed crit now, sorry . But yeah, all of your tech stuff is really solid and I love it all. Two big ass thumbs up.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#10
Critting as I listen:

The first riff was really cool. It almost made me start headbanging in my chair. When the sawtooth came in forefront, that was cool. And when the beginning started again, I really enjoyed it.

The clean section next was a good break, and the tremolo picking was a good transition into the bass.

This bass slapping grove section is easily one of the best things I've ever seen on this forum, no question. That was groovy, cool, and just plain awesome. I could sense a little BTBAM influence in it.

So, when I was done grooving out, it came back to heaviness. The section at bar 52 was intense craziness. Very BTBAMy, at least until the synth over it. I actually think the guitar should be playing that section, instead of synth, but whatever.

The 15/16 measure wasn't necessary. Cut it.

When the Synth Pad came in, the whole mood of the song got a lot more haunting. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but it's what you got. It kept with this until bar 107, where it evolved into something really fantastic. The heaviness was perfect. It reminded me a little bit of White Walls though, but not too much.

I didn't like the section at 124. A little too dissonant for this song. If you would cut that, it would be much better. But replace it with something else, so that it would have a bridge to the repetition of the earlier section.

I don't think a fade out was a good idea. Just have an ending. Fading works well on some songs, but I don't think it did here.

Overall, fantastic song. I really liked it a lot.

Mind critting mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1138059
Use RSE if you can.
Thanks.
My Old Progressive Metal Band:
Acrasia
For fans of Between The Buried and Me, Dream Theater, Cynic.

My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
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For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
Last edited by silhouettica at Jun 4, 2009,
#13
I did finish.
But then Senor Coronel took over me.

I told you DEP, cum stains, and some other ****!
Stop hounding me.

I prefer your other song to be honest. The riff in this song (well, there's a lot of them, but the DEP one) sounds like The Head Hunter or whatever the name of the 1st song on Ire Works is called.
I'm deprived of breakfast right now, my friends sister has to use the comp, and I'm done here.
#14
Alright, critting as I go:

the intro riff is very nice. Very chaotic. I like the progression as well. Especially when the breakdown like thing kicks in. Definitely hear the mathrock.

The riff at 22 is pretty good for the bridge it is... but it's not my favorite kind of riff.

I kind of dislike the clean break for this kind of song. It sounds good. But I would prefer it in another kind of song. It just doesn't suit this song. But I guess you could keep it.

I like how you just... jump out of it at 50. And then in 52 the breakdown is good. I like how it lacks body. It makes the next part coming up just that much heavier. I generally dislike tritone breakdowns but this one is really good.

The 15/16 measure is really good. I agree, it makes it htat much heavier :]

I went through and added a measure right before 76 (before the Meshuggah-ish clean guitar came in) that was in 4/4 that was the 15/16 measure with an added 16 note (obviously). I just like it better that way... a better build up.

When the guitar comes in at 92 it's alright... it works, but it's not my favorite part. The clean guitar should have continued the descent... I think it would've sounded better.

The breakdown section at 108 is genius. How did you come up with it? It's really good. An amazing rhythm, and melody and just an overall chaotic atmosphere that I admire so much.

The next riff at 125 is alright... the sawtooth gives it a kind of horror movie sound. It sounds scary, but I don't like it in this. I also don't really think it fits... if you just take it out and go straight to the next time it again after the harmonics it sounds really good.

Back to the awesome breakdown... I don't know if you did or not (Idunwannacheck) but I think you should change it a little bit from last time (not too much, as you wanna keep it kind of nostalgic) as soon as it comes in (rather than at 142).

The synth at 142 is a great way to end the song.

I really enjoyed it! It had it's parts that I didn't like that much, but the good overshadows the bad.

9/10.

Keep up the good work!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1141215
Last edited by DiminishedFifth at Jun 21, 2009,