#1
This is a revised old one of mine that finally got put to music, the recording is here;
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/damn-right%21/music/all/play642911



Pragmatically Speaking Ref 5

Does natural talent make beauty
or does hardwork speak itself?
Does success bring satisfaction
or is that reserved for wealth?
Misery loves company,
company loves to tell
Well you cant please everybody
so go on please yourself...

And you're pouring out the champagne as I laugh into my beer
thinking of a million places I'd rather be but here
striving for some reclamation trying to be myself
this is my idea, this is my idea of hell

We all crawled on hands and knees
before we learnt our airs and graces,
You're another familiar face
in a crowd of familiar faces.
And I'm starting to have doubts about
the benefits of chasing,
When theyre half way round the track and I'm,
still tying my laces...

And you're pouring out the champagne as I laugh into my beer
thinking of a million places I'd rather be but here
striving for some reclamation trying to be myself
this is my idea, this is my idea of hell
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#2
I really liked this a lot for the theme of it and the way you delivered it. This piece was a really great flow to it and you established some very interesting images (one that sticks out is the image of people racing around a track while you're still tying your laces).

From how I interpreted this piece, it seems like the narrator is saying how, in this world, he is conflicted with the idea of getting ahead in life by following the crowd/conforming versus lagging behind everyone else by being himself. But although he's conflicted, I think he sees that it is better to struggle in life while maintaining your individuality instead of being a "familiar face in a crowd of familiar faces", or at least that's the sense I got from it.

I think you touched on an important topic that everyone goes through in their life and instead of simply preaching "Be yourself" you showed us that internal conflict that rages on where we are sincerely tempted to follow the crowd. That's just how I interpreted it however so I may be way off-base. Nonetheless, great writing.
here, My Dear, here it is
#3
Quote by SubwayToVenus
I really liked this a lot for the theme of it and the way you delivered it. This piece was a really great flow to it and you established some very interesting images (one that sticks out is the image of people racing around a track while you're still tying your laces).

From how I interpreted this piece, it seems like the narrator is saying how, in this world, he is conflicted with the idea of getting ahead in life by following the crowd/conforming versus lagging behind everyone else by being himself. But although he's conflicted, I think he sees that it is better to struggle in life while maintaining your individuality instead of being a "familiar face in a crowd of familiar faces", or at least that's the sense I got from it.

I think you touched on an important topic that everyone goes through in their life and instead of simply preaching "Be yourself" you showed us that internal conflict that rages on where we are sincerely tempted to follow the crowd. That's just how I interpreted it however so I may be way off-base. Nonetheless, great writing.


Well thankyou very much for taking the time to give me such a good reply. You've basically got the idea right, its about social behaviours and wondering about what being "part of the crowd" actually means, and on a broader scale how you best succeed in life, it's about class systems, whether hard work is more valuable than natural talent and how we start out the same and the only real differences are learnt behaviours from our class ideals.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#4
This.. is as close to mother f*ckin' brillance as it gets, this is a fantastic piece, well delivered, well structures, the repetition of the second (and fourth) stanza is wonderful, and really enforces the ideas that your trying to create, after reading the comment you made above me, I really understood this piece on a whole new level, a real classy bit of work well done

If you could, check out "Fireflies Through A Skylight" for me, I'd enjoy hearing what you think
Cheers!