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#1
So here's my (well, HIS) problem. I have this friend and he claims he's never masturbated before. I thought it was B.S. but i'm beginning to believe it more and more by the day. He finally explained to me that when he was younger, probably 13 or 14 that he tried to fap but then he slipped somehow and his fingernails weren't cut so he sliced his junk somehow.

Around five other guys and I have been trying to get him to fap but our efforts have been in vain.

Any ideas pit?

P.S. I've showed him porn numerous times, it doesn't work
#6
Go to his house with your mates. Wank him off.
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
Last edited by Cal UK at Jun 25, 2009,
#7
Quote by mroctoberfest
Around five other guys and I have been trying to get him to fap but our efforts have been in vain.

I think you have a problem.
Now 100% humour free, in accordance with the rules.

.fm
.wordpress
#9
this is BY FAR the most stupid help thread i've ever seen. let your friend be. I'd be nervous masturbating to if i sliced my dick with my fingernails. i cringed when i read that.
#10
Kids are so fucked up these days.
Here's what the critics are saying about Hanzi_G:

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Hanzi_G = god damned prophet.

SIG ME GODDAMMIT
#11
dude...I GOT LAYED AT 13! get this kid layed!
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#12
I don't know why you're so concerned about his activities in that department. Maybe you need a hobby?
"Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy." -Louisa May Alcott
#14
Show him porn until he screams i cant take it anymore?
Quote by chs170
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Quote by chs170
Wow.

This is deep
.
Was the pun intended?
Actually no

E-married to Nikki82
#15
I was gonna say suck him off, so he knows what getting off feels like, but I was beaten to it.
#18
flesh lite or whatever you call it
Turtles R awesome. dont agree? YOU GO TO HELL, YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!


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#19
Quote by Ir a+infinitive
dude...I GOT LAYED AT 13! get this kid layed!





cool. you know you're bragging to an internet forum right? we honestly don't care.
#20
The only sure way to do this is to wank him off yourself.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#21
Quote by ManicBluesist
Show him porn until he screams i cant take it anymore?


And rapes him probably.
#23
Invite him round to watch The Prestige.
Is it still a God Complex if I really am God?

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde
#24
Quote by Kenny77
I was gonna say suck him off, so he knows what getting off feels like, but I was beaten to it.






Mega pun win!
360 Gamertag: NEB Vanguard

Quote by josh15742
you sir are epic in every way imaginable

i literally bursted out laughing


Quote by Kenny77
Hats off to you sir!



#29
The first masturbation is good, then ig goes down hill and finally becomes a shadow of its formerself. I dont even notice when I get off any more.
#30
Quote by Fleabag
I think you have a problem.


I believe this man knows what he is talking about.
I know now what I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now
#32
Quote by diminishedtobme
The first masturbation is good, then ig goes down hill and finally becomes a shadow of its formerself. I dont even notice when I get off any more.


Then you must be doing something wrong. When I started it wasn't too special. Now I make fountains of love juice.

I can't believe I just said that.
#34
Ok, um, what the hell? seriously what the ****ing hell?!
Cookie monster genocide my nation! HE MUST DIE MENS

Art is never finished it is only abandoned.

Real mitalhead don't give a f**k if it is Wensday or a dick in the a**
#35
Quote by Fleabag
I think you have a problem.

this.

why do you care if he Faps or not?

stupid people.. I need a fap!
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#36
Quote by diminishedtobme
The first masturbation is good, then ig goes down hill and finally becomes a shadow of its formerself. I dont even notice when I get off any more.


Lay off for however long you can hold it off. You'll start to get irritable, and finally it feels awesome. Trust me.

........
#38
Obviously if you want him to wank so badly, you should do it for him. Let him see how awesome it is. Then he'll be doing it so much he wont have time for you anymore because he has to catch up on those lost years
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Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


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#40
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
this is BY FAR the most stupid help thread i've ever seen. let your friend be. I'd be nervous masturbating to if i sliced my dick with my fingernails. i cringed when i read that.


+1 I had a good cringe too
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