#1
A Nightmare in Shining Armor

She loves me.
Isn't that great?
Even though I make mistakes.
I am falling for her.
One day soon, I'm sure.
She tells me
that she's in love;
that maybe I was sent from above.
I think I feel the same way.
On my knees I pray.

Why's this car spinning
and why is it crashing?
Fires are burning
and she is dying.
Nightmares consuming,
their lies are confusing.
I am destroying
and now I'm breaking down.

Falling away into seclusion.
There's no way I can make accusations.
I won't give in to corruption.
If only this was fiction.

I love her.
Isn't that great?
I realized it too late.
No one can change the past
but I've made it my task.
They told me
that she won't live;
why can't she live
for more than just a day.
On my knees I pray.

Numbness is calming.
Why am I crying?
These tears are falling
and she is dying.
Bleakness I'm hating.
Happiness is hiding.
I'm done not fighting
and now I'm rising up.

Hooked up to machines
dreaming of fields so green,
flowing streams,
and stars that gleam...

Why not I?
Why not I?
Why not I?
Why not I?
Why couldn't it have been me?

Her, I am saving.
At the door, she is clawing
and she is crying.
She is kissing my cold lips...

I promise you'll pull through.
I've done this all for you.
I've done all I can do.
"But you let death pull out in front of you."


Just an original song I wrote. I wrote it about a friend of mine's parents who got into a car crash on their way to the courts or wherever to finalize their divorce.

Any comments, suggestions? Thanks in advance!
#2
Her, I am saving.
At the door, she is clawing
and she is crying.
She is kissing my cold lips...

I am confused. Why are your lips cold? Aren’t you saving her?



That is all I could find wrong and even then I am not sure if I am correct. I really like this. Good imagery. You walked me through it like a movie. I think this would be an awesome recording. Good job.


C4C?

Let it be
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1150603

O Selfish Me

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1150598
#3
I tried to give it a happy ending, because people told me my work is all really depressing. I made it so he went back and erased what he did so that he died and not her. Just kind of a happy ending to it.

Thank you for the kind words too! Haha. I wanna make movies when I get older so your comment really made me feel good.