#1
this started with the guitar part and i was surprised at how fast the lyrics came to me it usually takes a couple times playing it over. i dont have a chorus yet but am working on it. just wanted some crits on the verses please. c4c


you dance like
angels in the sky
how the clouds move in the wind
and you look like
if beauty came to life
a rose until the very end

now the day is over
and death is getting closer
than you are in my arms
and when will i
someday come to life
because me without you is a broken heart

(still writing the chorus)

then i open my eyes
to see you looking in mine
as we dance beneath the stars
as clouds move from the sky
angels dance tonight
as you do in my arms
#2
My first thoughts were some of the lines sounded very cliched, however i'm not going to dwell on that because this isn't usually the genre of writing that particularly catches my interests anyway. So i guess on a positive side you've definately created emotion very well and the verses are of decent length.

My favourite part has to be the opener "you dance like angels in the sky how the clouds move in the wind"
#3
yeah i like the opening a lot better and was thinking about ending it with that, but i am not totally sure until i get the chorus and what not. but thanks for the crit