#1
V.1
I’m on the edge and far past saving
Hard to cope when you’ve got nothing
Looking at the world from the outside
I die every day in my mind
Every night is harder to take
Hold my tongue, fear they’ll scream “fake!”

Chorus
You should know that it’s not your fault
It’s been with me all along
You should know that it’s not your fault
You just set it off

V.2
A life of lies and empty bottles
I don’t want to be alone, no
Just wish I knew who I was
Who I will be, where I am going
You always told me never to change
Here I am now, the mess you made

Bridge?


Work in progress.
It is mostly an acoustic song. The structure might look a little off written down, but it goes very well with the lead guitar.

The song is about borderline personality disorder, and somebody's struggle with it.
He wants to talk to someone about his thoughts, which turned suicidal when his girlfriend left him after a long relationship. He wants help for his substance abuse, issues, and depression, but he hasn't had any "real problems" in life, according to his friends and family, and he doesn't think anyone will believe him. They'll just say he's looking for attention.

First time I've actually tried to sit down and write.
CC? Thanks
#2
Wow. The verses seem fine and I do not have any problems with them, infact I think they are very well written. I definately liked the first verse better though. The chorus I don't really like though. If this is your first time writing like you said I congradulate you on writing such good verses but I think the chorus is bringing the piece down. It's not nearly as powerful or captivating as the rest. If I were you, I would consider altering the chorus to better fit the other parts. All in all, I enjoyed it. Hopefully you'll post the comepleted product when you finish it! Critique mine too please! Any link in my signature will be fine. Thanks