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#1
And I require assistance.

So here's where the story begins. I woke up today, with a severe heache from being out in the sun too long the previous say doing yardwork with my father.

Now to cure it, one of my friends told me to take a really hot shower with the lights dimmed. I took his advice and made my way into the bathroom with eager eyes, awaiting to rid myself of this earth shattering headache.

I dimmed the lights, got the water running and slowly made my way into the only thing that might help me sleep tonight.

I got in, and VOILA, my headache was already going away. I kept turning up the heat of the water and at the same time my headache was fading. But I started to think about the smooth bare bodies of your best girl.

And by the time the shower was over, I had a hard-on possibly only granted by the likes of satan himself. And this isn't any normal boner, as you might have already guessed. This is a boner that put your normal boner to shame. And with that came the urge to go Robert Trujillo on any girl willing.

Now I'm sure most of you are thinking, "Just go grab it, you baby." Well I wish it was that easy. However, I am afraid of what might exit. As I have managed to hold my own for close to two weeks.

Now I find myself here, pit. Seeking any help I might get in ending this nightmare, short of "Waking the Demon".

Tl;dr, Immense boner, Don't want to grab it, need methods to make it go away.
#2
inb4 fap

Please God let me have first post.

Pat_s1EDIT: YES!

But yeah anyway, do something that is painful, or think of something to completely turn you off. You could do that thing when you put a blown out match on your wrist...

Last edited by Pat_s1t at Jun 27, 2009,
#3
Watch that scene from Borat where they're both naked and fighting in the hotel room.
#4
*awaits Rosie O'Donnell pics*
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#5
Punch yourself in the balls
Originally Posted by smb
I'm an arrogant bastard - I thought I was good before I'd plucked a note. I was right, of course.

Quote by MetalBass 77
sonsie knows all
#9
This is all I've got that might help.

Quote by Kensai
Hey, any hole is a goal.
#11
Thanks all of you so far.

But my semi-attraction to dudes when I've broken the barrier, as well as the though of putting a match out on my nipple. Has renered all of these useless.
#13
Get an extra large sock
Quote by ThinLizzyFan
I love you



Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
#15
run into a wall with it, worked for me once
"If the good die young, we'll fucking live forever"

Quote by zezimathehero
Genital Warts > What Separates Me From You


Quote by zezimathehero
Genital warts, what separates me from you
#16
Thump your erection untill it goes away.


I guarantee the success of this method.
There may be times when it is impossible to prevent injustice, but there should never be a time when we fail to protest it.


Take a trip down the Scenic River


Call me Charlie.
#18
Quote by identityxcrysis
*pic*

How about this?

Oh, wait, actually that's probably a bit counter intuitive.

That's just cold.
Quote by Kensai
Hey, any hole is a goal.
#20
Quote by Pat_s1t
inb4 fap

Please God let me have first post.

Pat_s1EDIT: YES!

But yeah anyway, do something that is painful, or think of something to completely turn you off. You could do that thing when you put a blown out match on your wrist...



Does this mean god exists???????

< <
-

> >
-

No,....No still imaginary. This guy must have just been a quick poster.










Blasphemy!
#21
Well, the bucket of ice is just stupid.
I tried running into the wall and caused property damage to my drywall. Thanks.
I thumped it but that only made things worse, especially as I scanned and saw the picture of hot hick #1.
Fortunately, the beast has tamed itself...for now.
But my true fear lies in sleeping, as I just put on new bedding. It's a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Any advice on this?
#22
oh, sometimes taking a shower makes me lose my boneroo
Quote by AA00P
Listen to the man, he's Jewish.
#23
uhh, just grab it you pussy.

Just grab it and fap the hell out of it.
VERY METAL!
\m/
RIP Ronnie James Dio

Quote by metaldud536
RazorTheAwesome, if I was a Ditto, I'd transform into YOU

Quote by Kensai
Basically god wanted to punish people for getting educated/eating apples.

Quote by Jackal58
We all desire a little pussy.
#24
I'm confused as to what the problem is.


In my restless dreams...
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again someday.
But you never did.

Well, I'm alone there now.
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.

#27
Thump it harder.

It has to make you uncomfortable. Not make the problem worse.

Get your mom to thump it. I'm sure that will take care of the entire problem.
There may be times when it is impossible to prevent injustice, but there should never be a time when we fail to protest it.


Take a trip down the Scenic River


Call me Charlie.
#28
Quote by CochiseOfHatora
Is that something you might be interested in?




In my restless dreams...
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again someday.
But you never did.

Well, I'm alone there now.
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.

#29
I love how this is one of the few topics the Pit has actually given serious advice on.
#30
Quote by herby190
I love how this is one of the few topics the Pit has actually given serious advice on.


and it's not like it's ...inappropriate to stupid answers...
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#31
Does this mean god exists???????

< <
-

> >
-

No,....No still imaginary. This guy must have just been a quick poster.

I wish I was as cool as you.
#33
Quote by CochiseOfHatora
Is that something you might be interested in?

I honestly just lol'd pretty bad.
Quote by Kensai
Hey, any hole is a goal.
#37
Quote by El Nando
Eh, I don't know.
I'm quite fond of crabs.
inb4: lol std



#39


Hai thar.


Sorry dude, try watching shock vids or something like that.
No muerde, no calla
Sin sangre no hay arte
Nada ni nadie
De nada más

#40
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Think of ****ing your mother.


+1 always works
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