#1
Yeah, this is the newest song that I had recently written in under a four hours for my band. I wanted to get an outsiders opinion on how to end in, either the way it is now, or to use the pre-theme section one last time.

I'm kind of leaning towards that way, because a lot of our songs seem to end the first way, so I'm trying to avoid that. HOWEVER, I don't want to repeat riffs too many times.

But in any case, I just want to hear what people think of the song in general, so I'll comment anything you guys have to show, too.

This song was the result of listening to a bunch of Nevermore and Arch Enemy, and not sticking to any general key, and writing with balls, you know?

www.myspace.com/hailtomadness
Attachments:
THE HYDRA.zip
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#2
First off, may I say that I think that ending with the pre-theme sounds better to me. Ending the way it does almost seems like you just forgot to write the ending.

On to the song!

The intro was nothing really special; it didn't grab my attention.
At first I didn't like the dissonance in BREAK, but I grew to really like it.
THEME! I love it. It was coo, memorable, and energetic. I also really like the chormaticism of it.
Verse wasn't really stand out. Perhaps add a little lick here and there instead of just palm mutes and power chords.
Pre-theme was fine, but i'm not very fond of bar 52. Kinda threw it off.
Love the whammy dive before the theme. Sounds great.
Bridge was perfect. Slight variation from theme, but still a bit different.
As for the solo, i thought it was all good except for the first bar of it. I didn't care for that harmonized run very much. Actually, after listening to it without the harmony i'm convinced the harmony is off. It sounded much better as just 1 guitar doing the run.


The overall structure of the song is great. The leads are awesome, but it's a little lacking in good riffs. Also, the bass is quite dull. I'll still give it a 9/10 because it's definately something I'd listen to.

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#3
Intro is nice and trashy, the All Join section reminded me of seek and destroy somehow. Now the break, is really nice, but Bar 18 sounded really dissonant because of the minor 2nd between Track 1 and Track5. The Theme is really awesome, Verse is nice and trashy.
Pre Theme, was kind of evil heavy/trashy. That harmonic inbetween is cool (with a real guitar). Then the theme again, which is cool. Some trashy riff again. Bridge is a nice change, Solo is awesome, with that cool bridge again. Now that break again, perhaps it sounds better with real guitars, witht he dissonance I mentioned earlier.

I'd say look in the bar I mentioned, and see if guitar pro is the problem, or that it doesn't sound on real guitars aswell. It's a solid track, liked it nice combination of Trash and Melodies, really enjoyed it, too many people forget is that melodies make music memorable. Nevertheless I like my trashmetal.

For the outro, I'd say make a new outro, since both options don't seem to be a very good option. Otherwise just see what your band thinks maybe?

Crit mine?
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#4
Thanks for both of your crits. To pinguinpanic: The whole song songs amazing with real guitars. The pre-theme that moves in minor 2nds with power chords is especially awesome.
Things have the tendency to sound awkward on guitarpro, but you guys still liked it, so that says that the final recorded version will be insanely epic. Thanks for the crits, guys. I'll get to work on yours.
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#5
PS: The basslines are boring because my bassist also sings (deathgrowls) so I keep them rather simple, but when we play live, he always throws some licks and improv in. You may also want to check out my other songs that I posted in a recent blog on my profile. If you dig the idea of thrash having a melody, you'll love Oblivion Rising.
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#6
Thanks for the crit (the 2 songs I uploaded the other day) man, appreciate the time you spent on the post, I don't get very many crits haha


Alright you recommended me this song to crit, I saw the title under your blog, and I am a huge nevermore fan.

Intro --> Thrashy, reminds me very much of the late 80's, sounds sick though.

Break --> Bar 17 totally reminded me of Nevermore from their earlier days (Politics/ecstasy)

Theme --> bar 25, love it man! I like what the rhythm guitar is doing there in the background, nice touch =D

Verse --> pretty generic riff, but it's what I expect when it comes to thrash songs like this, nice and simple chord progression. I just know that this section would sound so much better if there was someone singing to them (that is if the song was recorded), w/o lyrics/vox its hard to judge a verse riff for me, especially this genre/style.

Pre theme --> The last enemy? haha, ok riff I suppose.

Solo --> sweet, fits perfectly. Reminds me once again of Arch Enemy style solo

Overall this is a top notch song. 8/10. I loved the theme section the most, you should get this recorded man
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#7
Thanks, dude. My band and I will be playing it live, soon. The verse will be really badass when we put the vocals ontop. Our vocals are kinda like brutal death. My bassist/vocalist is a huge fan of cannibal corpse, but when my rhythm guitarist and I put our back up in, we do highs, and it compliments very well. Thanks for the crit. Much appreciated.
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#8
Try repeating the All Join section again. Ending with the riff you started with is always good.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#9
Quote by whalepudding
Try repeating the All Join section again. Ending with the riff you started with is always good.


agreed
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#10
alright. thanks. I'll keep that in mind. The song is kinda short as is, so I'll probably do that. Thanks for the idea.
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#11
Quote by CaRveItiNbass
Thanks, dude. My band and I will be playing it live, soon. The verse will be really badass when we put the vocals ontop. Our vocals are kinda like brutal death. My bassist/vocalist is a huge fan of cannibal corpse, but when my rhythm guitarist and I put our back up in, we do highs, and it compliments very well. Thanks for the crit. Much appreciated.


Sweet! I'm really interested now, do you think you can get a recording up any time soon?
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#12
Nah. We won't be recording for a while, and when we do, It'll pretty much just be the stuff on our myspace, but done professionally. Everyone still has to learn that song and the At the Gates sounding song, which you're more than welcome to check out as well. But I'm really psyched that you're interested in the music. I really appreciate it.
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#13
Quote by CaRveItiNbass
Nah. We won't be recording for a while, and when we do, It'll pretty much just be the stuff on our myspace, but done professionally. Everyone still has to learn that song and the At the Gates sounding song, which you're more than welcome to check out as well. But I'm really psyched that you're interested in the music. I really appreciate it.


For shizzle bro, I've got a death metal band starting up this summer. I'll try and record some stuff, we don't have anything recorded to put up on our myspace yet so I won't bother w/ posting the link, when something does get posted up there I'll give you a heads up.

Just in case I totally space out, my band's name is called Xenocide, (xenocideband after the myspace.com/)

edit: oops, seems my other guitarist put up a very ****ty demo of a song (guitar pro haha).
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Jul 2, 2009,
#14
xenocide. Nice man. I like it. Haha. I used to do that before we recorded. Exported the midi. Just to give people an idea, you know? Whatever works.
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#15
cant stop listening to that theme/bridge! so catchy! cant wait to hear that recorded
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#16
Guys, I had noticed that the pre-theme riff sounded a bit too much like a part in an Arch Enemy song, so i opted to change it. Here's the version with the changed riff.
Attachments:
THE HYDRA2.zip
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#17
Man, I checked out your first versioned stuff and I like it! Intro sounds a bit thrashy, maybe you need to change the drum part? Melodies are good and harmonies works well. I don't like Pre-Theme - kinda wrong sizes. It's ought to be in 4/4 ) Solo - very Michael Ammot-ish sound, and that's cool. So...keep it metal and stay true!
#18
I thought that all the time changes were quite necessary to keep the flow going. But yeah, thanks for the crit. You're welcome to check out the other songs I have listed in my blog.
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#19
The entire pre-theme is definitely 4/4. You add a beat in the first bar and take one away in the last, but it adds up to be 8 bars of 4/4, which is the most common section length ever in music.

Edit - Here it is "fixed." It makes more sense visually and sonically this way. Notice the drum fill in the 4th bar of the pre-theme and how now it takes up one bar nice and neatly? This is definitely the right way.

I see this happen constantly on this forum, so don't get down about it.
Attachments:
THE HYDRA2.gp5
Quote by dudetheman
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Last edited by DaddyTwoFoot at Sep 17, 2009,
#20
the pre theme is almost exactly the same of that of an arch enemy song, i think in this shallow grave but not shure , other then that nice theme
#21
Quote by Xiepie
the pre theme is almost exactly the same of that of an arch enemy song, i think in this shallow grave but not shure , other then that nice theme


Look at the more recent versions posted. I changed the pre-theme.
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