Ok, so here's the deal. The singer for my band (Sasha) has been becoming more and more neglectful of her duties to the band. for a while she was missing practices for stupid reasons, saying she'd be there on time and then turn up an hour or two late, saying she'd be there and not showing at all, etc. We were discussing getting rid of her.

Then it seemed like she turned over a new leaf, after we all talked to her and told her how we felt about all this. She started showing up, really acting like she cared, and started sounding a lot better during practice because she was actually trying. We got our hopes up.

So we've got a gig coming up on the 4th and we've been getting ready for it for a while now (this'll be our second gig). And then she decides to go on vacation with her girlfriend (she's gay). She asked us if it was alright for her to go on vacation for a week, and of course we say no, that's not cool at all we'll only have a week to practice instead of two. she just went on vacation with her family not too long ago. but she wanted to go anyway, then, the next practice after she asked she finally asked us for help. apparently she agreed to an engagement with her girlfriend and then she wanted out of it, we all told her how that was stupid, they should break up, etc. and she agreed and wanted help getting out of it.

Then just as we got that settled her girlfriend calls and our drummer says "let me answer it, I'll take care of it" so she hands him the phone and he answers it, says something along the lines of "Leave Sasha alone you lying cheating *****, she doesn't want to fucking see you again!" and hangs up. everybody laughs, Sasha says she feels alot better, thank you and all that.

But then, apparently later that night her girlfriend met up with her and talked her out of breaking up with her, and then she ended up going on the damn vacation.... and she blamed us for not being there to back her up WTF?

So we decided to keep her til after the gig and give her one more chance because if we fire her now we won't be able to play the gig. If she gets her act together we'll keep her, but if she does something like this again she's gone.

<edit> She got back yesterday, so we'll be having practice today</edit>

what do ya'll think? did we handle this correctly? should we have told her she was out a long time ago? I just want some outside opinions, and felt like ranting a little bit.
Last edited by The4thHorsemen at Jun 28, 2009,
practice without her? then practice moar when she returns...from her lesbian...adventures

EDIT: vacation with them
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Viscara (my band)
oh, forgot to mention that she got back yesterday and we'll be having practice today. but yea, we didn't really practice a lot while she was gone, because really she's the main one that needs the practice. there's a couple of songs where she still stumbles every once in a while, the rest of us probably could've been ready a month ago.

but yea, we're probably gonna practice like every day this week.
Quote by Rikki DeMartini
last thing you need in a band is a woman with mental issues.

I'd edit that to be anyone with mental issues, but I can see where her gender and sexual orientation create further problems for the rest of the band. I'd see if you can't get someone a bit more stable to front the band. It might require some key changes, and tweaking the arrangements to fit the new vocal style, but that should only help you progress as musicians.

First off, why did you let her out of the kitchen?

Secondly, drop her, it doesn't seem like she cares.
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yeah she sounds a little crazy.

well, you guys handled it well, until you got involved with the break-up, that was never a good idea imo, since once you get involved, your putting yourselves at risk of her "somehow" becoming pissed off with you guys, like she did.
Communication is the key, and it looks like you guys have it down, but make sure she knows she's slipping, otherwise it's just mean.

But kudos for how you've handled it so far.
I kinda forgot I made this thread lol.

but yea, now it's like three days til the gig... and she just got her fucking period :bangs head against wall: yesterday practice was going on fine until we got to For Whom The Bell Tolls and she just forgot the lyrics. she hasn't done that in months. after a 20 minute break we tried again and she remembered though... don't know what to think about that.

anyways, wish us luck. Someone's actually going to record this, so we'll finally get some vids on myspace.
I tolerated a similar situation for years. A stubborn, over dramatic, lazy lesbian who would forget her parts and equipment, but always remembered to bring all her issues. I miss her sometimes, we became good friends.
You don't need everyone to practice. I sing and play rhythm in my band, and my roomate is my lead guitarist. Sure, having the other guys is great, but we practice nightly, and it helps... a lot.

Take any advantage you can, man.

Also, is this a reoccuring thing, or just a simple flair up? I wouldn't kick her out simply because she was having a personal problem, that'd be pretty ****ty. If she's constantly and reliably pulling these stunts, then yeah, get someone else.
Last edited by rooster456 at Jul 2, 2009,