#1
Hello all,
This is the first time i'm posting a song here and i'm looking forward to your feedback (hope it won't be too harsh
The song has strong arabic influence because here in Bosnia, the traditional music is influenced by traditional arabic music. I try to mix this traditional influence with prog. I think this is one of my better efforts so far. It lacks vocal parts and maybe a couple of solos, this is it's basic structure...
Influences on my own writing style: Symphony X, Opeth, Dream Theater, Tool, Riverside.
Attachments:
Inside.zip
#2
Reminds me of Home by dream theater, but still original. Like it
Whats the longest word?


Quote by timzee117
smiles

because theres a mile between the two s's!


/killme
#3
Quote by woodsballplayer
Reminds me of Home by dream theater, but still original. Like it


Thanks for the reply. Home by Dream Theater inspired me for the instrumental part actually.
#6
Excellent! I love the feel, the flavor. Very nicely done. I'd love to hear the song when it is complete.
#7
Crit as I listen:

Acoustic passage/breakdown: Very nice it sets up the vibe and I like what you did with the bass. The breakdown was a pretty good idea, well placed and serves as a buildup. What I would do about it though, is make the chords higher and add a little more dissonance to them. Try and inverted 9 chord or something that has some clashes in the voicing but overall adds more to the song instead if "t3h br00t4lz p4nik ch0rdz" that you see in most breakdown-laden "core" music.

Main riffs: I like how you use the bass to subtly introduce the first main riff. So far it's very drone-y which I like. I like the addition of the sitar even though, it's not a very original idea. I think an acoustic guitar fits the vibe a little more, maybe the nylon stringed one. The sitar has just been used so many times.

Rising: This serves as another good buildup. Nice use of the choir to fill out the empty spaces. What I would try to do is get away from the powerchord chugging. It's still okay to chug, but expand your chord voicing a little and get away from the powerchords a little. It will definitely add to the exotic feel of the piece that I think you're going for.

Ethno instrumental: This is fine in the beginning but you could have easily put it all in 4/4 instead of having the 7/8-9/8 switches every measure. Doubling of the melody was also a good idea but try to have some harmony between the instruments to keep it interesting. Same thing with the riff at 137.

Closing riff: It's just okay, nothing really special. I would change it though into something a little more expansive and then end it with the riff you have already.

Overall, it's pretty solid but gets a little dull. Use those tips and any other ideas to make it a little more interesting and I think you'll be good.
7/10
#8
Critting as I listen:

I was a bit skeptical about the drum intro, but when the ride part hit, I liked it. The first acoustic bit is really cool. I like the arabic flavor [which is only improved by the drums]. The first heavy part is good too; I like it cause the melody keeps going on the keys. When you move to the riff, it's even better. I think though, the drums could use some changes after a while. Maybe a bit faster or something.

The third riff wasnt too good. But it's a lot better when the Sitar comes in. One thing I notice is the lack of bass... I think the bass needs to be a lot louder, to add some foundation and heaviness.

It got a bit dry, but the 16th note powerchord sliding riff was pure awesome. I think you should have repeated it a bit more. The riff at 121 is also rather addicting. I think the Sitar is too loud there though, the riff should come out a bit more. Same thoughts for the riff at 137. Also, throughout, I think the drums could be just a bit louder.

Everything was pretty damn good, I think though, the drums could use some changes to make it more exciting. They're mostly fill based and slow, so I think it'd be cool to have some faster parts.
#9
Thanks for the feedback, I'll update it with some changes later, I'm working on something else right now. As for the drums, I should work on more diverse fills in some parts but i'm not a fan of fast snare based drum parts, it takes away the groove for me (I don't mind it all the time it can fit perfectly in some parts). Also i think GP is kind of limiting when it comes to the sound of drums, it always ends up sounding messy and unclear and lacks clarity and volume.