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#1
Alright so at the start of this summer, When she came home from college, she went to get the ethernet cord from my room, cuz we have to share it, and it happened to go under my bed, where my fap handkerchief was, which was seriously crusted over. ****.

My room overlooks the farm and so you can only see the tops of 2 grain bins from my bed. So, about a week ago, I was in my room on my bed taking the little soldier for a ride, when I looked out on the grain bin outside, to see my sister! Holy **** I would've **** my pants if i had some on. I don't think she actually saw me anyway. I just put up the blinds and continued on my journey.

Alright, finally, last night, I was in my bed jerking it completely in the darkness with a fan on, because it was hot and plus i didn't want anyone else to hear me wankin, anyway, I'm sitting there going at it when my sister opens up the door without knocking in the slightest! what a bitch! So I just very quickly flip over and say ... hey! what do you want?! and she just backs out REALLY quickly and says ... forget, never mind! ... and i say .... what did you need? ... but i couldn't hear what she said over the fan cuz she had already retreated into her own room....

oh **** i think she finally figured it out.

tl;dr ive been beating off too much this summer and basically my sister knows now.
#2
loser

EDIT: real men jizz on their own chest.
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#3
Cool blog bro
Quote by gjvx
Damn you Spicer001, I'll get you for this...

[GT]Spicer001 of the UG Gaming Force
#4
oh god...
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#5
I guess she figured it out when she touched the handkerchief, the other times just confirmed you are a chronic masturbator.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#6
Cool story, Bro.
daytripper75

Bullieve


Quote by Amuro Jay
I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
Quote by lolmnt
First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
#8
Cool. But remember... She masturbates too, and your parents, and your neighbours, and your grandparents also does it.
#10
A fap hankerchief? That's f*cking disgusting man. What's wrong with a bit of toilet paper that you can flush afterwards, or your hand?
Last edited by Beserker at Jun 29, 2009,
#11
Wait wait wait. You have a handkerchief that you fap into? What the **** is wrong with you! Use tissues!
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
and
CAREFUL NOW


No man needs a holiday more than the man who has just had one.
#12
or one's own chest
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#14
Quote by Guitarmike123
Cool. But remember... She masturbates too, and your parents, and your neighbours, and your grandparents also does it.

Not to mention me
#16
Quote by geetarguy13
Alright so at the start of this summer, When she came home from college, she went to get the ethernet cord from my room, cuz we have to share it, and it happened to go under my bed, where my fap handkerchief was, which was seriously crusted over. ****.

My room overlooks the farm and so you can only see the tops of 2 grain bins from my bed. So, about a week ago, I was in my room on my bed taking the little soldier for a ride, when I looked out on the grain bin outside, to see my sister! Holy **** I would've **** my pants if i had some on. I don't think she actually saw me anyway. I just put up the blinds and continued on my journey.

Alright, finally, last night, I was in my bed jerking it completely in the darkness with a fan on, because it was hot and plus i didn't want anyone else to hear me wankin, anyway, I'm sitting there going at it when my sister opens up the door without knocking in the slightest! what a bitch! So I just very quickly flip over and say ... hey! what do you want?! and she just backs out REALLY quickly and says ... forget, never mind! ... and i say .... what did you need? ... but i couldn't hear what she said over the fan cuz she had already retreated into her own room....

oh **** i think she finally figured it out.

tl;dr ive been beating off too much this summer and basically my sister knows now.


Quote by geetarguy13
Alright so at the start of this summer, When she came home from college, she went to get the ethernet cord from my room, cuz we have to share it, and it happened to go under my bed, where my fap handkerchief was, which was seriously crusted over. ****.


Quote by geetarguy13
and it happened to go under my bed, where my fap handkerchief was, which was seriously crusted over. ****.



Quote by geetarguy13
my fap handkerchief


O_O
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#20
Quote by Beserker
A fap hankerchief? That's f*cking disgusting man. What's wrong with a bit of toilet paper that you can flush afterwards, or your hand?

dude i got it figured out now! okay yeah actually to add to that list, i have a toilet paper roll right by my bed. and there's like a crapload of small two-sections of toilet paper in my trash can.
#21
Rofl XD
My gear

Les Paul Deluxe
Fender Stu Hamm Urge II (Selling)
Strat
Hudson Electro-Acoustic
Marshall 1923 85th 50W Tube Stack
BLUEROCK BSH2-300G 300 Watt Bass Head (selling)
300 Watt 1 - 15 Bass Cab (selling)


My Band
#23
I think most sisters kinda guess their brothers do tbh.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#24
Quote by wikipedia, handkerchief code
Handkerchief code or hanky code (also known as bandana code and flagging) is a way of indicating, usually among gay male casual sex-seekers or BDSM practitioners in the leather subculture in the United States, Canada and Europe, whether they are a top or bottom, and what kind of sex they are seeking, by wearing cotton color-coded handkerchiefs (bandanas), usually in the back pocket. Hanky code was widely used in the 1970s as a gay code, however it is increasingly mainstream.[1]


this kind of handkerchief?
Wise Man Says: The guitar is obviously female, she's got hips, breasts... and a hole.
UG's Flamenco Club
#26
Time for some old fashioned Wincest.

Also, Pics. I want them.
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#27
use tissues man
Guitars
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Amp
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#28
Quote by FretboardToAsh
this kind of handkerchief?

c'mon man i'll admit to wanking a lot but i know i'm not gay.
#29
Your fap hankerchief is simply the most nauseating thing I've heard about this week. (Last week I took a peek in my friend's bag and saw a crusty hankerchief not too different from yours, simply a different color)

Tissues, man. Use em.
#30
+ 1 this thread


I was going to say, get a ****ing girlfriend, but you live on a farm, so yeah, your girlfriend is probably a sheep or something, seriously though bro, be a big more sneaky. I've never been caught my whole life, but it's funny, during my virginity removal session my mother walked in, how funny.
#36
Quote by Sherlock_Bones
One word:

Fapucino


or TS should get a 18th century military suit:

Fapoleon
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#38
Time to even the score.

Catch her in the act and make her feel real shytty.

If you guys have detatchable shower heads with the hose, chances are shes gettin off in the shower at some time or another. When shes in the shower for an unusually longer amount of time, shes probably sprayin the monkey. Just knock on the door really hard to startle her, or better yet, just barge in and say you need your toothbrush.

Thatll fix her...
#39
Quote by blackflag49
Put the "fap hankerchief" on her face while she sleeps.




...And now there's soda all over my keyboard.

Daaaaaamn yooooou!
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#40
Quote by geetarguy13
Holy **** I would've **** my pants if i had some on.


Greatest quote ever
Rule number three: Never open the package

It's magic magic baby!

Yoink!
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