#1
So, coming back from my vacation, I find that there is a gaping whole in the side of the fence in my back yard (my backyard is freakin huge, you could play a nice sized football game there). Plus, on the complete other side of my yard, there's a shed, and my lawnmower (and other items of value) was stolen from there. Now, from the family members that checked on my house every once and while, they said there were multiple occasions where there were possible signs of burglary.

Now, I'm guessing the burglars might come for a little visit once again. What do you think I should do pit?
#2
kill

/thread
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#4
You should load up your 12gauge turn off all the lights and let the waiting game begin!
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Last edited by Nexium at Jun 29, 2009,
#5
Mate, you live in America! Get a machine gun nest, a heatseeking rocket launcher or a tank.
Quote by ChadLikesGuitar
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#9
Quote by Nexium
You should load up your 12gauge turn of all the light and let the waiting game begin!

thats what I plan on doing...except I only have a couple of pellet guns and a bow. yea, lame. And it's not a good bow either.
My room has has a window that views the entire yard. I just plan on opening the window, mount the pellet gun, and play Ocarina of Time until I hear/see some action.
#10
If they come back, and you have a gun, feel free to kill them. But you have to kill them, because if you only injure them, you could be in serious legal trouble.
Totally honest. And make a police report of course.
I play guitar in a ska band.
Modded MIM Strat > Fender Tuner > Bugera V55HD > Custom built 2x12
#11
Quote by Myfirstpubes
thats what I plan on doing...except I only have a couple of pellet guns and a bow. yea, lame. And it's not a good bow either.
My room has has a window that views the entire yard. I just plan on opening the window, mount the pellet gun, and play Ocarina of Time until I hear/see some action.



If you have a bow, I'm guessing you know how to use one. Go buy a compound bow and fill their torso's with arrows.
#12
Quote by cgolden
If they come back, and you have a gun, feel free to kill them. But you have to kill them, because if you only injure them, you could be in serious legal trouble.
Totally honest. And make a police report of course.

legal trouble? when they're invading my property? wow, America fucking sucks.
#15
Quote by Myfirstpubes
legal trouble? when they're invading my property? wow, America fucking sucks.

I know dude. Trust me. But if you straight up kill them, you should be ok. Where do you live?
I play guitar in a ska band.
Modded MIM Strat > Fender Tuner > Bugera V55HD > Custom built 2x12
#17
Just sit in the shed in the dark
and if they show up jump up and down screaming ogabogaboga.
(works every time)
#19
Quote by cgolden
I know dude. Trust me. But if you straight up kill them, you should be ok. Where do you live?

Miami. What would they do if I just injure them? Sue? "While I was breaking into this house, I was injured and it's not fair" Seriously?
#23
On a serious note, during the day, follow these steps:
1) Make sure they aren't surveying the house
2) Get black string or rope, and make a trip wire in the middle of the yard (you can also place them at random spots aswell, to keep things interesting)
3) Find a nearby ditch on the border of your yard, make a little hiding place where you wont be spotted, and make sure it's inconspicious and comfortable (ya might be waiting a while)
3) If you do have a gun, bring it, but load it with blanks if you can, it'll scare them ****less and they'll give in in a second. Bring some reall rounds just incase things get nasty.
4)Also bring a knife for serious protection.
5)Wear warm clothes etc, depending on the weather of course.

This is where we execute the plan, armed with everything.

1)Maybe an hour or 2 after sundown, sniff the wind to see if you can smell scum.
2)Go to your hiding place. Bring a stool, maybe some sandwiches, and a friend. This is a must, because it's dangerous doing it yourself.
3)Let your eyes gain their night vision, you should be better suited to night by then than a burgular getting out of a bright car etc.
This is where we play the waiting game.
4)Sit there, watch, listen for any disturbance. The trip wires will surely work and cause havoc if you fail to see or hear them getting onto your property.
5) When you spot them, if you think they are heading for the trip wires, wait til they fall or are caught up. When they are distracted, get out of your hiding place, run to them, fire a blank or a round into the hair, and aim the gun at them. They're pretty ****ed now.
6) Get one of them to tie the other one up (lol yeah, hollywood, huh?) then tie the other up yourself, something along those lines.
7)Call the cops.

Problem solved man.

This concludes KirkMetallica's burgular catching survival 101.
Class Dismissed
</rant>
</thread>
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#24
Make it look like you didnt come back yet, but put mroe stuff in the shed so it looks like they forgot to steal some stuff. Live in your basement closet or something lol it has to look like youre not back yet.

get your shed door to lock itself (in a way that it can only be opened by the outside), and so that it closes itself with a spring or whatever.
then:

neon sign transformer+bare cable running through your whole shed like a cluster of barbed wire+ON

watch 'em burn lol
#26
To avoid legal problems, all you have to do is get them to assault you first. Then you could burn them alive and get out of it by claiming self defense. Or, if they bring along deadly weapons, that's intent to assault (or something like that), and you can take preventative action (ie violence)
#27
I think the best way, without being stupid and killing anybody, would be to videotape their visit. With a good camera, good resolution etc. not some crappy webcame that can't identify sh**.
And you should've made a police report already.
Long Live Rock n' Roll
#28
Quote by KirkMetallica

</rant>
</thread>

To be even more badass, smack him in the face with the butt off the gun.

Quote by rootbeerjuice
To avoid legal problems, all you have to do is get them to assault you first. Then you could burn them alive and get out of it by claiming self defense. Or, if they bring along deadly weapons, that's intent to assault (or something like that), and you can take preventative action (ie violence)

You can still get in massive amounts of trouble for that. If the cops/courts/whoever decides that you used more force than needed for self-defense, you can get in a lot of trouble. Manslaughter or even murder could apply.
#29
Quote by Abyssion
You can still get in massive amounts of trouble for that. If the cops/courts/whoever decides that you used more force than needed for self-defense, you can get in a lot of trouble. Manslaughter or even murder could apply.

If they're on your property and they have any kind of weapon, you're allowed to use deadly force to protect yourself. Honestly, the 'self-defense' argument is what you're going for.

However, just being on your property isn't enough to authorize deadly force. And yes, crazy as it sounds, you CAN be sued for shooting someone on your OWN property.
#30
Call Macaulay Culkin.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever." 1984.
#31
Quote by nalyd
If they're on your property and they have any kind of weapon, you're allowed to use deadly force to protect yourself. Honestly, the 'self-defense' argument is what you're going for.

However, just being on your property isn't enough to authorize deadly force. And yes, crazy as it sounds, you CAN be sued for shooting someone on your OWN property.

IF they have a weapon, you won't know beforehand. If they just have a knife, and you come out with a shotgun, they will probably start running or surrender peacefully (unless incredibly stupid), at which point I'm pretty sure it isn't self-defense if you open fire on them.
#33
get the naked guy from the other thread to sit in your shed and video what happens
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#34
Quote by the_who
I think the best way, without being stupid and killing anybody, would be to videotape their visit. With a good camera, good resolution etc. not some crappy webcame that can't identify sh**.
And you should've made a police report already.

already filed one
#36
Quote by SlipknotRule93
get the naked guy from the other thread to sit in your shed and video what happens

Quote by juniorlbj
Gentlemen...

It's fap time!
#37
Quote by Myfirstpubes
So, coming back from my vacation, I find that there is a gaping whole in the side of the fence in my back yard (my backyard is freakin huge, you could play a nice sized football game there). Plus, on the complete other side of my yard, there's a shed, and my lawnmower (and other items of value) was stolen from there. Now, from the family members that checked on my house every once and while, they said there were multiple occasions where there were possible signs of burglary.

Now, I'm guessing the burglars might come for a little visit once again. What do you think I should do pit?


in the words of cannibal corpse:

the time to kill is now, make them suffer, five nails through the neck

that should sort your problem, and if that fails: Rape?
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Last edited by blankoff at Jun 29, 2009,
#38
Quote by Myfirstpubes
Miami. What would they do if I just injure them? Sue? "While I was breaking into this house, I was injured and it's not fair" Seriously?


Yeah, its messed.

For instance. Some Guy decided to break into this old lady's home through the garage. He somehow managed to get him self locked in and had to eat the only thing there to eat, Cat food. for about a week. once he got out he sued and won and she now has to buy him food for the rest of his life.
You belong in a museum.

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#39
it's not fair, here in britain if we were being burgled and the burglar tripped over something and broke a bone, then they could sue us, and not get done for burglary
Quote by uk.mace
This man is smart.

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you spelt colors wrong


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