#1
I wrote this is like 30 mins about a real story thats happened in my life,
and its meant for the girl that i wrote it for. but i wanna know if its good or it just sucks. so help a man out. Btw its supposed to be a piano or acoustic guitar song.


Swing Set Dreams

Verse 1
Those days spend together,
Sitting, swinging with hands intertwined
Never thinking bout tomorrow,
Just thinking bout each other.

Verse 2
Till the day came, when you left
Denting my heart, leaving it hurt.
Hurt that never healed.
You told me that

Chorus
Dreams come true if you try,
The distance would get closer
And the hugs would be real.
But you said that you’d be back
So till then, I’ll see you in my dreams.

Verse 3
Days we spent talking seemed like hours
Hoping those hours would add up to see you.
But hours didn’t mean anything,
Only you telling me that

Chorus
Dreams come true if you try,
The distance would get closer
And the hugs would be real.
But you said that you’d be back
So till then, I’ll see you in my dreams.

Bridge
I’ll be there soon,
And we can resume those days
We spent swinging together hand in hand
Only cause,

Out-chorus
Dreams come true when you try,
Distances get close,
And hugs become real,
Cause I’ll be with you
In our dreams
Quote by Lil Macker
Please tell me he's not from The Pit. That place changes people...

*shudders*
#2
Good. I like the thing you did with the "Out-Chorus". Maybe some rhymes, not everywhere but in some places, like the chorus. C4C in signature, please

Keep it up!


You can teach anyone to play fast, but you gotta have soul.
-Zakk Wylde


My set:
Gibson SG Faded Cherry
Peavy Rage 158
Boss DS-1 Distortion