Progbass92
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Join date: Jun 2008
1,295 IQ
#1
Well, it's the start of one anyway. I'm posting the first two tracks of a concept "album" of sorts. Right now I've got the intro and the first real song done. It's inspired a lot by Pain of Salvation, Symphony X, and Circus Maximus, and even a little Periphery/Bulb thrown in.

Some useful feedback would be appreciated specifically on the flow and the memorability of what I've got so far. I'd appreciate a lot more than "That was good it sounds like DT" or "That sucked" so feel free to tear it apart as much as you want .

C4C
Thanks.

EDIT: "1a" is the intro and "1b" is the first full song

DOUBLEDIT: DO NOT LISTEN TO IN RSE IT IS MIXED FOR MIDI
Last edited by Progbass92 at Jul 2, 2009,
Lagunaguitar
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#2
if u were to make a real album (not MIDI) would you use all guitars or some synthesizers and some guitars? it was very good. i would buy it. will it have words?
D&DLover
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#3
That was pretty epic. I really liked the touch of the synth, although I think it could be doing some more interesting things throughout. I think a few parts may have went on a bit too long as well, but that's just how I feel.
Progbass92
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Join date: Jun 2008
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#4
Thanks guys. I'm gonna start work on a vocal melody for each of the songs and start lyrics soon.

Quote by D&DLover
That was pretty epic. I really liked the touch of the synth, although I think it could be doing some more interesting things throughout. I think a few parts may have went on a bit too long as well, but that's just how I feel.


Do you mind being a little more specific?
Skillet_Panhead
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Join date: Mar 2008
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#5
That was good it sounds like DT


haha. Thanks for the crit.

I listened to 1b, the actual song, and it was fantastic. The guitars seemed to get drowned out a lot, but I'll just assume that once this is professionally mixed, that'll be different. The guitars always seem to get drowned out in GP5 when you add synths anyway.

All in all, this is the song I wish I'd written myself. I love Prog. Metal, and this is definitely one of the best out there, so MAKE THIS ALBUM!

EDIT: ahh...and it would appear I missed the note that it was mixed for MIDI...that would explain the drowned out guitars, haha. oops :P
Last edited by Skillet_Panhead at Jun 29, 2009,
pmeg568c
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#6
thanks for the crit man, i will get to this tomorrow. its way too long for me to focus on right now hahaa.
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Progbass92
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Join date: Jun 2008
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#7
@Skillet- I'm glad you liked it. It's going to eventually be recorded when I can find a keyboard player and a drummer. I'll be posting updates on new tracks when I finish each one so you can definitely look forward to some more new stuff.
entity0009
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Join date: Nov 2008
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#9
Hey, thanks for critting mine.

I've always had a weakness for unconventional time signatures, so as soon as this started it grabbed my full attention. The rif***e is great, and the switches between time signatures are very smooth. Nice to see someone who includes tasteful keyboard solos in their compositions. I like the juxtapositioning of the solos, flows very nicely.

The riff before verse 1 goes on a bit long for my taste but that's just subjective.

I wish I could write more but it's a great song, I didn't find anything wrong with it. Great job
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Fettot
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#10
Ok, I'll focus on the parts I think you can improve, because otherwise this post will become an essay.

concept song 1a:
some places (like bar 9, 10) seemed slightly dissonant to me, but maybe it's supposed to be that way?

around bar 45 something, it started to sound a bit repetitive. Maybe you could make it slightly shorter / add another instrument.

Oh you have made another version. I'll start over. Hmm this time, there is a bit much happening simultaneously. Maybe that has to do with the midi sound and levels though.

51 and 52 didn't fit very well IMO, due to that slight dissonance. It would have been another thing if a larger part of the rest of the song had that feeling to it.

(sorry for the poor English but I'm very tired and not from an English-speaking country.)

concept song 1b:


Bar 11-12 are a bit too much dragonforce for me.

The riff after that is cool but could do with some more variation... (not just by adding more instruments)

There are a lot of open chords a bit after that (like 28/29). Maybe that will sound muddy.

I didn't like the synth at 30-32

That riff after that gets a bit repetitive.

46+ less is more the instruments are stealing attention from the vocals in a bad way.

Maybe you could vary those drums too a bit.

I think that too much is happening in the chorus aswell, but maybe if you tone down the parts before it, the chorus could stay as it is now.

Maybe you should vary the vocals more in verse three or so...

I'm not very fond of fast keyboard solos' but I guess a lot of other people are!

I think that the guitar solo is a bit fast aswell. Not fast, but too "jazzy" or whatever :P no simple melodies. It doesn't look like you're trying to be accessible though ^^

Maybe you should spread those solo's over the song.

Cool outro but that other tune started rather early, didn't it :O
Necrophagist777
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#11
Wow. Great stuff man. Loved it! Could listen to a full recording of that all day.

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Deep*Kick
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#12
That was great, very symphony X imo.
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Progbass92
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#13
Thanks for the crits everyone. Here's track 2. It's a lot softer than the first one with the bulk of it being acoustic. It's also very vocally driven so without the vocal melody it can get repetitive.

Tell me what you think. I'll probably finish the vocal melody by tomorrow and put that up along with any updates I might have.

EDIT: Updates moved to this thread: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20565559#post20565559
Last edited by Progbass92 at Jul 2, 2009,