So I need some help.
Im looking for bands that sound like JFAC, The Black Dahlia Murder, All Shall Perish, and Ect....
I would prefer the suggestions to be a bit more underground than the bands that I mentioned.
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack."

I suggest you just poke a turd, you'll have more fun. Try asking people to poke turds for you in the Rec Thread, that's what it's for.
He sounds like he would enjoy R.E.M.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.