#1
You were sunburnt on your shoulders
My touch left small white blotches
Imprints of where my fingers held you
Disappeared in a matter of seconds

And your breathing sounded so perfect
In the middle of a dark damp car park
I watched as you squinted your eyes and
Your pupils exploded as the sun drove by

And you picked a fight
To try make this the easiest goodbye
And I am thinking it was wrong
That I depended on you from the start

We will be just hours away
I whispered by the vending machine
But you knew time difference was no friend.
#2
I enjoyed this because I thought you were really economical with it. You conveyed a message and evoked an emotion without really rambling on about it. I loved the first verse in particular. I thought that the image of the disappearing white imprints on sunburnt skin is a great metaphor for the phase of the relationship that the narrator is about to go into with this person. It seems to me like one person is moving away which is causing some friction and pain yet the narrator wants to keep trying to make it work, he wants to hold on to it. However, a part of him realizes that, just like his imprints on her skin, this relationship may very well disappear.

So I thought it was very well written and, like I said, the first verse was my favorite. Great job!
here, My Dear, here it is