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#1
Welcome to the thread designed for the discussion of all things English.

The English have a very definitive reputation. We like tea, we like crumpets, we like to complain. We're world champions at standing in a line that is not always straight for an extremely prolonged period of time. We're the only country in the world that managed to make France fight instead of surrender and we're hated by them for it.

We're hated by a lot of people. We're hated by the Welsh, we're hated by the Irish, we're hated by the Scots. We're hated by the French, the Belgians, the Germans, the Americans and the Canadians, but mostly the Canadians who are French. The English though, are okay with that. We're a very tolerant collection of people. We tolerate all of you, despite the fact that we simply can not stand a single one of you. We tolerate this, as we stand in our endless queue, drinking our tea and moving forwards with our cane on the floor.

We like our full breakfasts. Bacon is our thing. Eggs are also our thing. We have a weird sense of humour. We're somewhat nervous, but at the same time can surprise people with our talent to be confident to the point of arrogant. We get annoyed when Americans spell words in the way that they're been brought up to do. We like offering people help who don't even need it because it makes us feel good about ourselves. We like to feel good about ourselves because it makes us feel good about ourselves.

While others tell everybody about their trips to Spain, Texas and the Canary Islands, we fantasise about going to Brighton and Blackpool. Some of us live in Blackpool, and we're the least happy about it. Some of our most famous landmarks are trains, lights and anything else that is nothing other than flashy or big. We don't aim to have the biggest anything, we're quite happy with what we already have. Our landmarks are more aimed around giving people epileptic fits.

We understand that patriotism is more than holding a gun, though it's cheaper to buy a gun in England than it is to buy a packet of biscuits. We're famed for our writers, our musicians and our thinkers. Nowadays we're more well known for enjoying our drink, actors like Hugh Grant and writers such as J. K. Rowling. We've had our own musical invasion. We're also known for being absolutely terrible at football, and, in fact, any other game that we invented. All in all, we moan, we complain but we're all moderately happy anyway.

So, for the English, here is your thread. Discuss top hat sizes or something.
Last edited by Colohue at Jul 2, 2009,
#5
I blatantly need the biggest top hat out of everyone on ug
(that might not be a good thing)
edit: beaten to it... I'll settle for a 3 metre long bowler then
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#8
Milton Keynes is probably the most Americanised place in England. The road system is a grid type, based on Chicago, and we have the largest shopping mall in Europe. All the other cities in England I've been to are definitely much more traditional.
#9
I've been in Denmark for a week and I have to say that after eating cold breakfasts every day for a week, the English Breakfast I had this morning was gorg.
#10
^^^ OMG UR LIEK TOTALLY FROM NOTTNGHAM

it contains everything us english shudnt be
-no sig-
#12
I've been waiting for someone to do this again. Let's hope the Irish stay out this time
hello
#13
Quote by opc100
I've been waiting for someone to do this again. Let's hope the Irish stay out this time


Don't you be encouraging them. Now do something English.
#14
THIS IS ENGLAND...

Well... This isn't. I'm currently in Shetland.
Should try being English and Living in Scotland... further more, Shetland!
These folk have to be the most Anti-English folk of the lot.
Oh well... got the rest of the family there, so good enough reason to go there.

Came down to Manchester to see Oasis on the saturday they were playing Heaton Park, and i don't know why or how. But i can always tell when we come out of Scotland and into England on the train. England just feels a whole lot better to Scotland, everyones more pleasent, the airs different, it's generally warmer... it's just a whole lot greater!

That is England...
#15
I miss England

Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#16
Quote by gilly_90
I miss England



Then come here.

Either that or be English wherever you happen to be. Invest in a hip flash, then fill it with tea and sip it whilst wearing a monacle.
#17
Quote by Colohue
Don't you be encouraging them. Now do something English.

I'm complaining, what's more English than that?
hello
#18
wait, so I've tried to make a "German Thread" twice and had it immediately closed, but the British get a VERSION 3 THREAD?

I call shenanigans!
#19
Quote by Colohue
Don't you be encouraging them. Now do something English.


Very well. *sips tea* Bloody Americans, it's MATHS not math...
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#20
Quote by opc100
I'm complaining, what's more English than that?


ahahahhhh

ur not driking tea...
-no sig-
#22
Quote by CoreysMonster
wait, so I've tried to make a "German Thread" twice and had it immediately closed, but the British get a VERSION 3 THREAD?

I call shenanigans!


german thread= nazi spam
sad but true
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#23
Quote by Al4Project
ahahahhhh

ur not driking tea...

Actually, I am, I just prefer not to write it down.
Also, anyone here about that thing that happened that only affected the English and not the Scottish and Welsh? No, neither did I.
hello
#24
This is England
We can chain you to the rail
This is England
We can kill you in a jail

I'd say something smartass-ish about England, but due to this I dare not.

Instead, I'll just go eat some English biscuits, hopefully there are some in the kitchen


S t a i r s s r i a t S

#26
Well yeah, might just go downstairs, get a cup of tea, take a book to the loo, come back up here, am reminsce on all the great music the English have...

The English... ARE Gods when it comes to Music. No one can deny it. Any other Country ever had their own Musical invasion?
#27
Quote by CoreysMonster
kinda like your face

Hey hey hey, we know where that talk brings our two countries...

Also, stickied
hello
#28
Quote by CoreysMonster
kinda like your face


but funnier
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#29
The English thread is not about the nationality, it's about the sterotypically English way to be. The German thread was just a thread for German people.

Also, damned right complaining is English.

I should point out that I am capable of warning people. Talk nice, don't threaten the stability of the thread.
Last edited by Colohue at Jul 2, 2009,
#30
Quote by tattie69
Well yeah, might just go downstairs, get a cup of tea, take a book to the loo, come back up here, am reminsce on all the great music the English have...

The English... ARE Gods when it comes to Music. No one can deny it. Any other Country ever had their own Musical invasion?


It was technically a British invasion

The gods part is right though, you lucky sods have some of the best musicians in the world.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to run downstairs to fetch my top-hat.


S t a i r s s r i a t S

#31
Quote by Colohue
The English thread is not about the nationality, it's about the sterotypically English way to be. The German thread was just a thread for German people.

Also, damned right complaining is English.

I should point out that I am capable of warning people. Talk nice, don't threaten the stability of the thread.

Yes Tom, sorry Tom.
hello
#32
Quote by imdeth


Where in Nottinghamshire are you?


A small village you've probably never heard of. It's right next to a place called Eastwood though, that's more well known.

Where are you from?
#33
Quote by Colohue
The English thread is not about the nationality, it's about the sterotypically English way to be. The German thread was just a thread for German people.

Also, damned right complaining is English.

I should point out that I am capable of warning people. Talk nice, don't threaten the stability of the thread.


...no it wasn't, it was for people asking questions about the German Language and culture! damn you british!! we shall rule over the Islands yet!

EDIT: but, I shall remain civil.
I have a question, what are famous british cartoons? like, what cartoons do british kids watch?
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Jul 2, 2009,
#35
Quote by CoreysMonster

I have a question, what are famous English cartoons? like, what cartoons do English kids watch?

Check this out. It's the main broadcaster of children's TV in England.
hello
#36
Quote by 12Jim34
A small village you've probably never heard of. It's right next to a place called Eastwood though, that's more well known.

Where are you from?


Can't say I've ever heard of it. *Google maps*

I'm from Mansfield unfortunately.
#37
Quote by Colohue
We watch the Smurfs.

didn't you guys invent Bob the Builder? or was that the Dutch again?
#38
Quote by CoreysMonster
didn't you guys invent Bob the Builder? or was that the Dutch again?


Bob's English, yes. His theme tune was even a million-selling number one hit in England


S t a i r s s r i a t S

#39
^ Yes, but so was the Crazy Frog, so let's not stake too much by that.

God I hated that frog. I complained so hard about it until it went away, at which point I stopped and got on with my life.
#40
Quote by Colohue


God I hated that frog. I complained so hard about it until it went away, at which point I stopped and got on with my life.

How very british English I did exactly the same.

Anyone else hate being referred to as 'The British' or 'Brits'? I don't know why, but I'd love Scotland to gain independence and the welsh, well, they're just the welsh.
hello