#1
OK, last night we played a gig at a local community centre. 2 hours before our soundcheck, my band's other guitarist texts me telling me that he had forgotten how to play one of our songs. Given that I was already late and stressed, and that the song is really simple, I proceeded to unleash a tirade of abuse upon him.

Just wondering what everyone else would have done, and whether this was justified?
#2
Quote by SilentHeaven109
OK, last night we played a gig at a local community centre. 2 hours before our soundcheck, my band's other guitarist texts me telling me that he had forgotten how to play one of our songs. Given that I was already late and stressed, and that the song is really simple, I proceeded to unleash a tirade of abuse upon him.

Just wondering what everyone else would have done, and whether this was justified?



He will understand that you were stressed, but probably wont be happy about it. You could have texted him the chords or something. You could have waited till you got there and shown him the song, because, as you said, it's a simple song. How does the guy feel?
#3
oh i'd have been pissed, it shows a lack of commitment. However, if theres ever a song your going to play at a gig and one person cannot remember it, perhaps you should have practiced it a bit more
#4
Depends what you said?

If you screwed at him for forgetting the song, then I guess you had a fair point, but if you got personal, then no, you're a dick.
Lol, in the nicest way possible =p
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#5
Quote by ReaperWaits
Depends what you said?

If you screwed at him for forgetting the song, then I guess you had a fair point, but if you got personal, then no, you're a dick.
Lol, in the nicest way possible =p


Lol, no I didnt get personal at all, just a bit of questioning his commitment, with a bit of swearing obviously

Quote by kataklysmkid91
oh i'd have been pissed, it shows a lack of commitment. However, if theres ever a song your going to play at a gig and one person cannot remember it, perhaps you should have practiced it a bit more


We practiced it quite a lot tbh, it sounded good in rehearsal the night before.
#7
Quote by koslack
If there's even the remote possibility that one of the members isn't 100% on any song, you shouldn't be playing a show. Period. So yes, you overreacted, in a situation you shouldn't have put yourself in in the first place.

This is probably right, no need to oversaturate an already oversaturated music scene.

If it keeps up, get rid of him and keep the committed members of the band.
#8
I would be furious. I work my ass off to remember songs when we're not practicing. It really frustrates me when other band members show up to practice and I have to teach them their parts that THEY wrote the week before and forgot because they don't practice.
#9
Quote by koslack
If there's even the remote possibility that one of the members isn't 100% on any song, you shouldn't be playing a show. Period. So yes, you overreacted, in a situation you shouldn't have put yourself in in the first place.


Tbh, I thought we were 100% on everything, he told me he wasn't ready 2 hours before soundcheck...

Quote by CODE
If it keeps up, get rid of him and keep the committed members of the band.


Hmmm, I have been thinking this for a while tbh. The rest of the band are quite committed tbh, but the other guitarist is the "awkward" one, and I saw this as a bit of a "last straw" type thing, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who would have felt this way. Cheers guys
Last edited by SilentHeaven109 at Jul 3, 2009,
#10
well you did say you were late.. so neither your lateness nor his forgetfulness are helping your band
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#11
It could have been pre-show-jitters.

I get that before we play a show or even in the middle of a song. I'll think to myself "oh sh!t, I don't remember the next riff that's comming up" and then I'll just relax myself and what do you know? I play the song perfect.

Did you overreact? IDK, but it's too late to take it back. I'd say as long as you didn't get personal and his ego wasn't hurt too bad then it will work itself out. Move on and keep playing.
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#12
Quote by Bertallica
It could have been pre-show-jitters.

I get that before we play a show or even in the middle of a song. I'll think to myself "oh sh!t, I don't remember the next riff that's comming up" and then I'll just relax myself and what do you know? I play the song perfect.

Did you overreact? IDK, but it's too late to take it back. I'd say as long as you didn't get personal and his ego wasn't hurt too bad then it will work itself out. Move on and keep playing.


TBH, this
#13
Yes, yes you did overeact.
He probably only forgot it because of his nerves, which can happen.
Tearing him off a strip probably made him worse, but biting your tongue and simply saying, 'don't worry, i'll go through it with you when I get there' or texting him the chords would probably have improved matters and wouldn't have caused any friction between you as your actual reaction probably did.

Quote by SilentHeaven109
Tbh, I thought we were 100% on everything, he told me he wasn't ready 2 hours before soundcheck...

In which case the obvious solution would be to do the song in question as the soundcheck.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jul 3, 2009,
#14
Quote by SilentHeaven109
We practiced it quite a lot tbh, it sounded good in rehearsal the night before.
Come on, man. This is obvious. He had stage fright. All he needed was some reassuring. And since he's texted you, it's you he's looking up to for guidance.

As a bandleader it's your job to be a slave driver during rehearsals and a moral officer before and after gigs.
Tbh, I thought we were 100% on everything, he told me he wasn't ready 2 hours before soundcheck...
I rest my case.

Now, all is not lost. I think you should tell him you're sorry. Tell him you've overreacted, probably because you were as nervous as he was. Glue the pieces and become a tighter band, in every definition of the word.

What I'm wondering is... how did the gig go? Did he hold up his end?
#15
Koslack and Slack are right on the money as usual.

Just to add.... this is the bandLEADING forum. Yes, you're p!ssed off, and you're entitled to feeling that way. Nobody would be happy about that situation. A good leader is distinguished by how they manage a situation. A good leader facilitates and manages through finding solutions. A bad leader reacts and blames. IMHO.

That said, if this is a persistent problem, your job as a leader is to find a solution to that - one that is not a 'today' solution, but a 'tomorrow and the next day' solution.

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
Last edited by axemanchris at Jul 3, 2009,
#16
Wow, I'm gettin a hard time here it seems. In my defense, this is not the first time he has caused us problems. I probably wouldn't have reacted so badly if it wasn't for him constantly arguing with us about song choices, criticising our playing, even laughing at new riffs we show him. After all that, I saw him being unprepared as an insult tbh, we'd had months to prepare.

In response to Withakay, it did go well tbh. He knew the others, we just had to turn him down a bit during the one he didn't know
In fact, here's a vid from the night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47MOmonLnq8
I'm on the right in the black shirt Ignore the singer's brothers at the start lol
#17
It sounds to me like you posted that looking for vindication. Since you didn't get it, you're trying to further justify your over-reacting to a situation by dredging up the past. You're still looking for vindication. You're not going to get it from me. You over-reacted - plain and simple.

What kind of leader are you? One who works towards solutions and facilitates progress, or one who has to be right all the time, and who feels a need to attack others because he has no better means of providing solutions?

Wait... let me re-phrase that. What kind of leader would you *like* to be?

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
#18
Quote by axemanchris
It sounds to me like you posted that looking for vindication. Since you didn't get it, you're trying to further justify your over-reacting to a situation by dredging up the past. You're still looking for vindication. You're not going to get it from me. You over-reacted - plain and simple.

What kind of leader are you? One who works towards solutions and facilitates progress, or one who has to be right all the time, and who feels a need to attack others because he has no better means of providing solutions?

Wait... let me re-phrase that. What kind of leader would you *like* to be?

CT


Tbh, I'm not looking for vindication from someone I've never met, and being right all the time is never important for me, in this case I was more worried about looking stupid in front of an audience cause a member wasn't prepared. I can only facilitate progress so much, others have to play their parts too, and sadly one person did not do that on this occasion.
#19
If you do plan on kicking him out, talk to him and give him a warning. There is nothing worse than getting kicked out of a band for something you could change if they just communicated their issues better. Like a friend of mine who got kicked out of a band because he liked hard rock more than alternative. Firstly, the band shouldn't have added him in the first place then. But they were going to have a practice without him and see how it went. Well, they were determined to kick him out anyway, so their little practice just "proved" to them that they could do better without him.

I felt bad for him, but then he kept joining bands that would disband or kick him out, so it is partially his fault, but he was devastated. Don't kick someone out unless they have repeatedly not minded your authority and have impeded the band severely.
#20
Quote by Anteaterking
If you do plan on kicking him out, talk to him and give him a warning. There is nothing worse than getting kicked out of a band for something you could change if they just communicated their issues better. Like a friend of mine who got kicked out of a band because he liked hard rock more than alternative. Firstly, the band shouldn't have added him in the first place then. But they were going to have a practice without him and see how it went. Well, they were determined to kick him out anyway, so their little practice just "proved" to them that they could do better without him.

I felt bad for him, but then he kept joining bands that would disband or kick him out, so it is partially his fault, but he was devastated. Don't kick someone out unless they have repeatedly not minded your authority and have impeded the band severely.


This sounds about right, cheers dude
#21
Quote by SilentHeaven109
Wow, I'm gettin a hard time here it seems.
Nah, don't take it badly. We're all here to help.

And, I must say, it's very hard to judge this situation with the little info at our disposal. We don't know the guy, we don't know you and we have little insight in the situation. If I had been in your shoes, who knows, I might have reacted worse.

But the point is: it doesn't do any good to get upset right before a gig. There's not much you can do about it anyway, and you'd more likely make it worse.

In my defense, this is not the first time he has caused us problems. I probably wouldn't have reacted so badly if it wasn't for him constantly arguing with us about song choices, criticising our playing, even laughing at new riffs we show him. After all that, I saw him being unprepared as an insult tbh, we'd had months to prepare.
As Chris said, you have to find a way to get him on track. It takes a diplomat to defuse an explosive situation.

In fact, here's a vid from the night
Not bad. You guys play well, but the singer was out of key quite often. Probably nerves too.

Btw, are you the drummer in that clip with The Vision covering The Cure? That sounds great.
#22
Quote by Withakay
Nah, don't take it badly. We're all here to help.

And, I must say, it's very hard to judge this situation with the little info at our disposal. We don't know the guy, we don't know you and we have little insight in the situation. If I had been in your shoes, who knows, I might have reacted worse.

But the point is: it doesn't do any good to get upset right before a gig. There's not much you can do about it anyway, and you'd more likely make it worse.

As Chris said, you have to find a way to get him on track. It takes a diplomat to defuse an explosive situation.

Not bad. You guys play well, but the singer was out of key quite often. Probably nerves too.

Btw, are you the drummer in that clip with The Vision covering The Cure? That sounds great.


Cheers dude, I kind of realised that gig night was the wrong time to blow up, I'll probably just be more helpful next time, and then blow up later

And yeah, that is me on drums covering The Cure, not just a one trick pony you know
#23
Quote by axemanchris


Just to add.... this is the bandLEADING forum. Yes, you're p!ssed off, and you're entitled to feeling that way. Nobody would be happy about that situation. A good leader is distinguished by how they manage a situation. A good leader facilitates and manages through finding solutions. A bad leader reacts and blames. IMHO.


Agreed 100%, well said Chris.