#1
What you've got today
You may lose tomorrow
So give up on the past
And forget all the sorrow

Get rid of the pain and be happy again
But to some people this is just a game
Turn the sadness into a smile
And make me glad to live for awhile

But now shes gone and Im left all alone
No friends in sight, so i sit alone at home
Sleep ecscapes my mind
With help from the memories of you

A sweet love with a sour taste leftover
One day Ill be the prefered lover
But until then ill be cleaning up
The mess you left on the inside

But now shes gone and Im left all alone
No friends in sight, so i sit alone at home
Sleep ecscapes my mind
With help from the memories of you
#2
I'd call it, Alone, Today and tomorrow or Sour taste.

Those are just my suggestions.

I take it that shal be an acoustic or clean style song like some Theory Of A Deadman? Thats just the feel I get from it.

It's beautiful dude .
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#3
Thanks. Im not quite sure what the sound was gunna be but Ive been going through some tough times and needed to write something and this is what came out. I'll probably have more up soon
#4
Quote by Cockpuncher 2.0
What you've got today
You may lose tomorrow
So give up on the past
And forget all the sorrow

Get rid of the pain and be happy again
But to some people this is just a game
Turn the sadness into a smile
And make me glad to live for awhile

But now shes gone and Im left all alone
No friends in sight, so i sit alone at home
Sleep ecscapes my mind
With help from the memories of you

A sweet love with a sour taste leftover
One day Ill be the prefered lover
But until then ill be cleaning up
The mess you left on the inside

But now shes gone and Im left all alone
No friends in sight, so i sit alone at home
Sleep ecscapes my mind
With help from the memories of you

That line didn't really feel like it flowed right. Maybe "bitter aftertaste" instead of "sour taste leftover"

Keep in mind this is coming from a crappy songwriter, so I'd take what I say with a grain of salt
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plexi


i realize the longshot that is. little giant to humongous one.


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Last edited by Natrone at Jul 3, 2009,
#5
Walking ‘round a house of mirrors with her picture on the wall

I’ve learned what we’ve got today
Could be gone tomorrow
I’ve tried giving up the past
And forgetting all the sorrow

I tried looking through the pain
To find my happiness again
I tried throwing out your pictures
But your memories won’t end

(Chorus)
Now she’s gone, I’m all alone
But I won’t leave in case she calls
Walking ‘round a house of mirrors
With her picture on the wall



I was going to start breaking down your song piece by piece in the usual crit fashion but then I decided to just try and help you say what I think your trying to say and give you a catchy title too. So, what do you think? Will you build off this or am I imposing?


P.S: This song came out “country”. If that’s a problem, sorry.


C4C?

Let it be
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1150603

O Selfish Me
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1150598
Last edited by IamOmega at Jul 3, 2009,