#1
C4C ( leave link )


Today the sky’s tears are pouring for you
and the sun lost its words and hid in shame;
they now share your loss and feel your pain.
You collect your mind’s shattered fragments
of each time you were swollen by those eyes.
And you were such a prey devoured,
that you have to repaint the landscape,
for all you see is a vacant space
of the place you fell in love.

Tonight, when you got out of the shower,
the silence felt louder as you undressed
to see the prints of his lips he left
in every part of your body he kissed.
And they itch like crusts that will leave a scar
that will deeply hurt while your bones rust.
You no longer trust what you think you are,
because your soul was also taken,
leaving a body that will not warm
with sheets alone.

And the soothing words seem like the clichés
of the songs that have no more meaning now.
You wanted to mute the world; to try to hear
his whispers longing to reach you out,
to say that he loves you. Just that sound
would be enough to deal with the demons
sitting on your shoulders and that sight -
last night’s footsteps on the floor of the hall.
And you wish they don’t evaporate,
because that will truly be the day
he’s not walking there anymore.
Last edited by seventh_angel at Jul 4, 2009,
#2
Looks pretty good, but the title is quite specific however. Shorter names are just as good and often more effective.
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#3
About the only complaint I have about this is that I didn't really like the line breaks in the last stanza, but that's just nitpicking. Nice to see a shorter one from you, Andre.