#1
i'm not sure about the title. but i would like to know, your opinions? it needs another verse, but so far this is it.


i didnt know that your love was on loan, i assumed that it was mine
but you took it back, now i'm alone, facing so much empty time
now all i see is matches, everyone's got a light
sew up my heart with patches, tell myself that i'll be allright

someone else, someone new to kiss me
a different mouth; do you ever miss me?

days blend into each other when there's nothing worth telling apart
interchangeable faces don't matter in the dark
i dont want to hear you whispering in my ear
the little reminder of what went wrong, so far yet crystal clear

someone else, only sometimes listening
a different mouth; do you ever miss me?
#2
i didnt know that your love was on loan, i assumed that it was mine
but you took it back, now i'm alone, facing so much empty time
now all i see is matches, everyone's got a light
sew up my heart with patches, tell myself that i'll be allright

I liked this verse. I think my favorite part was the third line. It was clever how you tied in "matches" with "light" to kinda create this double meaning of "matches". I think the last line might flow better if you took the word "that" out.

someone else, someone new to kiss me
a different mouth; do you ever miss me?

Not too crazy about this chorus. For me, the phrase "different mouth" seems too out-of-place for this piece. It may just be me, but I can't really see the significance in a mouth other than this mouth that you're kissing is different than the mouth of your ex. I think you need something more symbolic to use here to describe how you feel about kissing someone new, instead of merely saying how you're kissing someone new. Hope that made sense

days blend into each other when there's nothing worth telling apart
interchangeable faces don't matter in the dark
i dont want to hear you whispering in my ear
the little reminder of what went wrong, so far yet crystal clear

another solid verse. there's nothing I would really change here. You created some neat images of days blending and interchangeable faces in the dark. I noticed that you changed the rhyme scheme here, so will you be singing this part differently?

someone else, only sometimes listening
a different mouth; do you ever miss me

same as above


Overall, I liked it a lot. Well done
here, My Dear, here it is
#3
Your love was on loan, I assumed that it was real
Living my life alone, so much empty time with no appeal
I don't have matches, everyone else has their own light
Mend my heart with patches, I tell myself that I'm alright

craving someone else, needing someone to kiss me
the feel of a different mouth; do you ever miss me?

moments blend into each other with nothing worth telling apart
an interchangeable face doesn't matter in the dark
but i can still hear you whispering in my ear
reminder of what went wrong, so far away yet crystal clear


In my opinion.