#1
So I've been in Iraq for 6 months now... without women. And they bring in Eagles Cheerleaders to perform for us and it was probably the most provacative thing Ive ever seen in my life... I don't think worse thoughts have ever went through my head or have I ever been hornier. And has hot as it was I now hate my life just a little bit more for having seen it...

Has any one here wanted something so bad that when they finally got it(kinda, I mean I didnt get to pork one of them) it hurt?
Quote by happytimeharry
You just made my penis retract into my body in fear. Thank you for that unpleasant feeling Stinkles...


Quote by sashki
So the next day when you were a girl again, you'd stick a dead willy dickinson into yourself? Sounds wrong to me.

Lol
#5
yes.. once when I was pissed, I was sat in a car waiting for a pee.. I needed it so badly.. and the guys dad kept stopping the car to avoid hitting rabbits.. I ran into the house and started peeing and it actually hurt on a physical level! (and slightly emotionally)
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

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just a few of my fans..



#6
What kind of "performing" did they do?
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#7
Quote by Minkaro
The Eagles have cheerleaders?

Well, I suppose there is many a room at the Hotel California.


...
#9
Now, were these girls below 18 or something?

If now these girls we're talking about ARE 18 or over, WHY do you feel guilty now?

You've served your country and stuff.
DeVillains!
#10
and now I check my facebook msgs and the girl that I had been going out with for 2 year who dumped me about 2 months ago(kind of a mutual agreement) sent me this msg...

"hey there is something that i need to tell you...i am dating someone. i just thought that you should know."

now at the ... I thought she was going to say "I tested positive for HIV you need to go get yourself tested..." not quite as bad as that but still kind of weird right?

(keep in mind the cheerleaders are walking around the rec center right now being all hot and rape-able)
Quote by happytimeharry
You just made my penis retract into my body in fear. Thank you for that unpleasant feeling Stinkles...


Quote by sashki
So the next day when you were a girl again, you'd stick a dead willy dickinson into yourself? Sounds wrong to me.

Lol
#12
Quote by Stinkles


(keep in mind the cheerleaders are walking around the rec center right now being all hot and rape-able)

Just remember. Don't be one of the creeps. They'll appreciate that.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#13
wait, but you have internet access......
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#14
Quote by Stinkles


(keep in mind the cheerleaders are walking around the rec center right now being all hot and rape-able)




Dude, you're a solder in a time of war, shouldn't be too hard to get one of them to sleep with you.
Last edited by Tire Me. at Jul 5, 2009,
#15
Quote by IMABBALLPLAYER
Just remember. Don't be one of the creeps. They'll appreciate that.



Ignore this.


Go and put your hand up their skirts, that's bound to make at least one of them horny.
#16
Quote by Stinkles
and now I check my facebook msgs and the girl that I had been going out with for 2 year who dumped me about 2 months ago(kind of a mutual agreement) sent me this msg...

"hey there is something that i need to tell you...i am dating someone. i just thought that you should know."

now at the ... I thought she was going to say "I tested positive for HIV you need to go get yourself tested..." not quite as bad as that but still kind of weird right?

(keep in mind the cheerleaders are walking around the rec center right now being all hot and rape-able)


I thought you were allowed to rape in the military? Or is that just the enemies? Or is it the 21st century?
two and a half men.
#17
Quote by Cameronrobson
I thought you were allowed to rape in the military? Or is that just the enemies? Or is it the 21st century?

What the **** are you talking about?
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#19
Quote by Cameronrobson
I thought you were allowed to rape in the military? Or is that just the enemies? Or is it the 21st century?



I think it's over one third of women in military are sexually assaulted, and that's just fellow solders.

And it often gets covered up, sooo yeah it's frowned upon but it happens way more than it should.
#20
Quote by froggyman
Porn cant replace the feeling of seeing a hot woman after 6 months of no women

It can't?

#21
Quote by Stinkles
So I've been in Iraq for 6 months now... without women. And they bring in Eagles Cheerleaders to perform for us and it was probably the most provacative thing Ive ever seen in my life... I don't think worse thoughts have ever went through my head or have I ever been hornier. And has hot as it was I now hate my life just a little bit more for having seen it...

Has any one here wanted something so bad that when they finally got it(kinda, I mean I didnt get to pork one of them) it hurt?
It's called blueballs and yeah, it hurts like hell.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#22
Quote by froggyman
Porn cant replace the feeling of seeing a hot woman after 6 months of no women


I honestly doubt this...
#23
Quote by Minkaro
The Eagles have cheerleaders?

Well, I suppose there is many a room at the Hotel California.


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#24
Quote by webbtje
Ignore this.


Go and put your hand up their skirts, that's bound to make at least one of them horny.
ah, the Boomhauer technique.



This can lead to a lot of face-slaps along the way, but eventually does yield results.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#25
Quote by Stinkles
So I've been in Iraq for 6 months now... without women. And they bring in Eagles Cheerleaders to perform for us and it was probably the most provacative thing Ive ever seen in my life... I don't think worse thoughts have ever went through my head or have I ever been hornier. And has hot as it was I now hate my life just a little bit more for having seen it...

Has any one here wanted something so bad that when they finally got it(kinda, I mean I didnt get to pork one of them) it hurt?



mate i know what you mean about it hurting lol, back in cyprus 2 years ago we had the oakland raiders "raiderets" come visit for a few days down at the triple A bar and damn i've never wanted to bone a cheerleader more than those 2 nights especially when there all over you when drinking and shooting pool. ahhhh the memories, now if i can only find the photos
Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman.


Ludwig Van Beethoven.


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#26
ugh.
Originally posted by reb_49
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both meet in the wrong place at the wrong time
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#28
Quote by goest
I honestly doubt this...


Take this from someone who hasn't had his hole in 2 and a half years.

Porn is in no way, a replacement, ever!!!!
Quote by Ikonoklast
This comment has just made me cry with laughter. You = Win.
#29
Are u talking about the Philadelphia Eagles football team's cheerleaders? Cause I'm a huge Eagles fan and i love their cheerleaders.
James "The Rev" Sullivan
1981-2009
May He Rest In Peace
#30
-You are a soldier in a time of war, "protecting our country" as they say.
-You play guitar (I assume).
-Your longtime girlfriend has recently broken up with you and is now seeing someone else, so there's the sympathy aspect.

Tell me again why you're not boning one of them right now?
kill all humans
#31
Urgh, you're in the military, you should have this sorted by now. OK, I'm gonna help you out but you have to do exactly as I say.

1. Find the hottest one, failing that you'll have to go for the easiest.
2. Initiate a conversation, halfway through say "Hey, would you like to see my rifle? Just make sure it doesn't go off in your hands."
3. Either that above line worked or it didn't, if it did then congratulations, if it didn't move on to plan B:
"Hey, how would you like to feel a private's privates?" (Doesn't matter if you're not a private, they won't know).
"Are you sure you aren't my new CO? 'Cos you're making certain parts of me stand to attention."
"You know I got injured out in the field recently, I took a bullet to my thigh and lets just say it's messed up some nerves. Since then I've had a problem with being able to perform, if you catch my drift, would you like to help me with it?"

One of those lines is guaranteed to work.
#32
maybe a little obviously subtle crying in front of the cheerleaders on account of this ex girlfriend business?
or maybe not