#1
What are some funny stories from where you work?
Maybe some secrets?

If you don't have a job, maybe post about someone else's story or another one you heard.

Most of the stories I have are pretty much little kids flipping **** in the restaurant.
Last edited by fret_racer82 at Jul 5, 2009,
#4
The only funny things that happen at my work are things that we talk about and such, a momentously hilarious occasion is rare.. A coworker and I invented a sex-trenchcoat so Eskimos could mate, but I think that's really all there is to it.....
#6
My first day, I had to fill up a customer's propane tank, everything was fine, until I had to turn the pressure off, after the tank was full, I went to turn it off and being as stupid as I am. I couldn't turn it off, so I was sitting there for about a minute and a half trying to turn this propane tank off, of course my face is like "OH **** IM GOING TO BLOW THE STORE UP" and I look at the guy and he's like "WTF!"

So I finally turn it off and I'm like "Here you go" I walk back in the back and turn to my friend with the most horrified face ever and he's like "What, did you almost blow up the store or something?" I was like "uhh. yeah."
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#7
I took a dump ON the toilet seat. My friend was on bathroom duty and had to scrape it off and clean the whole seat.
#9
this didnt happen to me since i dont have a job yet ><
but my friend and his other friend both worked in the produce section of a grocery store. so one day they decided to go and play a prank on the manager and they went and bought these fake blood packet things and you would use to make blood splatter in oyur nose and mouth and shirts to make it looked like your bleeding. then they staged a fight right in the middle of the produce section during work lol.
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#10
I work at a convenience store behind the register. One day a kid was shoplifting some energy drink or something when by chance, his Mom also comes into the store. She stops him to talk right at the door and notices the bulge in his jacket pocket. When she realizes what he was trying to do, she goes ballistic and drags him over to me at the register, forcing him to pay and apologize. I couldn't help but to laugh at him.
#11
Quote by skaterskagg1
I took a dump ON the toilet seat. My friend was on bathroom duty and had to scrape it off and clean the whole seat.


#12
Quote by skaterskagg1
I took a dump ON the toilet seat. My friend was on bathroom duty and had to scrape it off and clean the whole seat.


Quite frankly, that's disturbing.

Anyhoo, my former boss was recalling when he had sex in the restaurant with his wife. I left the establishment shortly thereafter.
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#13
i covered a friend's shift at a chinese restaurant last year.. when it gets busy and theres nto enough water, ive seen one of the other servers scoop it out of the toilet tank in the bathroom, toss in a slice of lemon and some ice cubes.

NEVER work at a place you enjoy eating.
#14
I used to work in the kitchen of a restaurant. Let's just say when I saw the movie "Waiting", nobody was laughing harder than me. It wasn't THAT ridiculous, but there definitely was people like the bitch in the movie whose foods gets F'd with. There really are people as bitchy as that, they're some of the biggest fools ever IMO.

And let me give you all a pointer....sometimes when you charge your card at a food place and they have a space where you're suppose to fill in the tip. Well, even if your service didn't require a tip, you better put a "$0" in the line, because if you don't people could charge you as muuuuch as they want. I'VE never done it, but this one night I made $200 in tips..
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#15
i worked at dunkin doughnuts for a summer three years ago. i worked the overnight shift (10pm to 6am) so all the drunks would come in from the bars hammered as hell. they were loud and obnoxious, but they tipped well so i didnt mind.

this girl came in and looked like she had the spins something fierce. she bought a bagel, and as i was making change for her, i heard a loud thud. i looked up and she wasnt standing there anymore. i thought this was weird so i leaned forward and peaked over the counter and saw her laying on the ground half passed out. if that wasnt bad enough for her, somehow her pants fell down when she fell and she most certainly wasnt wearing any underwear
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Last edited by NoLaurelTree000 at Jul 6, 2009,
#16
Quote by NoLaurelTree000
i worked at dunkin doughnuts for a summer three years ago. i worked the overnight shift (10pm to 6am) so all the drunks would come in from the bars hammered as hell. they were loud and obnoxious, but they tipped well so i didnt mind.

this girl came in and looked like she had the spins something fierce. she bought a bagel, and as i was making change for her, i heard a loud thud. i looked up and she wasnt standing there anymore. i thought this was weird so i leaned forward and peaked over the counter and saw her laying on the ground half passed out. if that wasnt bad enough for her, somehow her pants fell down when she fell and she most certainly wasnt wearing any underwear

Sounds like a hoe. I would have taken her home
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#17
Okay, well I'm an assistant dance teacher at a studio. The lady I assist for got sick so I had to lead class of about only 5 little girls.. Around age 7.
So I was new to the job. First time teaching alone. I'm going over an exercise in the middle of the floor, I walk over to turn the music on, turn back around and this girl is peeing everywhere.. then stepping in and trailing the love juice behind her to come up and tell me that she needs to use the bathroom. About three moms were watching from the observation window doing nothing to help. So there I am, on the floor with antibacterial wipes and paper towels while 4 girls are at the barre doing leg stretches and the secretary at the desk is running the other one to the bathroom. All I could do was fap fap fap at how lovely it all was.


Ne me quitte pas mon chere.
Last edited by jemjabella42 at Jul 6, 2009,
#18
Last August I told the boss's kid to go **** himself (he's not actually a kid, he's a good 10 years older than me), and got promptly fired. Then the economy collapsed and I've been essentially unemployed sense.

Ha ha ha.
#19
I work at a supermarket and my boss is a fairly creepy old man. The other day a girl who works there was pushing a milk trolley, an he says "Women driver.... Can't trust them"

You had to be there, laugh anyway though since I guarantee it was funny.
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#20
I work at a bookstore and we've had some really gross shit happen over the last few years. Most peoples' reaction is: "What? A bookstore!" Yes, there's all kind of stuff happening that you don't want to see.

Three times, people have shit outside of the toilet. Not in the bathroom. Somewhere else in the store...the bargain aisle, the fiction section, etc. What is this? The funny thing is nobody will touch it and finally it's always the same manager of mine who will fix the problem. Last time I was helping him clean up, he sighed and looked at me and said: "Why am I always here when shit hits the fan?"

The same manager (my favourite one actually) came up to me after helping a customer one day: "Why would you cough on someone? And not just cough on someone, but hard enough that I could feel the air, from their cough, on my neck? Their breath smelled of pineapple and beans..."

Also, around January every year some punk(s?) decide that it would be funny to set off fart bombs, the kind that you apply pressure to before they blow up and explode. They open random books throughout the whole store and put them in, close the book, then leave. The whole store smells rank for 1-2 days...
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#21
jesus ive got so many crazy stories, well i used to work part time at a famous burger resturant while at school, and when some one ordered 2 meals, i would put one through the till and take the rest for myself. If you did this a lot during the day you would get more money than your wages. I got strip searched once but i had previously put the stuff in my bag haha.

One time during the world cup none of us could get time off, so we all skived off to the pub. Unfortunately this asshole manager knew wheree we might go and turned up while 8 of us were wasted and watching the match. We got warnings.

There was so much sex going on there, my girlfriend was a manager at the time and we shagged in the room where the safe was. Another manager was totally stressing out once late at night so i 'comforted her' while coming in drunk from the pub then after it, had a chicken burger with onion rings ontop and bbq sauce. probably the greatest moment ill ever have.

When i worked in an office i ****ing hated it, so went off work for 6 months with a bad back on full pay. I got another job in the meantime so i ended up making about £18000 in 6 months. Crazy.
Last edited by FrogSoup21 at Jul 6, 2009,
#23
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You people all have pretty crappy jobs. I bet you wished you did better in school!


Have you noticed the demographics for this site? Most of us are in school.
Quote by metacarpi
I'd rather post a chat up line with an escape route in case it starts going wrong.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

*girl looks unimpressed*

"Because it looks like you landed on your face."
#24
-A customer smeared **** all over a toilet seat and an employee who had a habit of misbehaving had to clean it up.
-Same employee pee'd in a cup in the crew room
-A ex-employee rung out a soaking wet cloth over the vats, the bubbling oil popping all over that side of the kitchen was intense lol...
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#25
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Have you noticed the demographics for this site? Most of us are in school.


You should have highlighted the are not in
#26
Lets see. I used to work in a fast food resturant, it was awesome for a first job but I quickly tired of it. I used to spit in the food of anyone who was an asshole to the drive thru workers. I walked in on my managers fornicating. The owner had a heart attack in the store, so it had practically no management while it was running, and chaos ensued. My friend took garbage juice, filtered it, and replaced a coworkers drink with it.

Ahh, they were the days.
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I've never been caught (beating off), but my dad was picking up my gf once and "accidentaly" grabbed her boobs.
#28
Quote by carl drew
You people all have pretty crappy jobs. I bet you wished you did better in school!


My job is actually not bad. And Im still in school.

I thought of another one last fall. A drunk customer, who was really drunk and possibly blacked out, kept on trying to dance with a female server. In the middle of the restaurant. This went on for about a half hour. All the other server wanted to kill this guy, and one threatened to punch the guy in the face. Eventually, he was kicked out. On the way out, he threw up everywhere. It smelled terribly of alcohol. Thank God I didn't have to clean it up.
#29
Nice Story!
Here is my experience also On June 19, I gave a lecture to a group of students who were studying how to get jobs. These students live in the inner city of Memphis. It is one of the poorest communities in the United States. Most of them had no experience in getting a job. Yet most of them were at least 20 years old. Several of them were over 40 years old.

There were 17 students in the room. Only one of them was male.

My goal for the lecture was to introduce them to the concept of the calling. This is different from the concept of the job or occupation. I wanted to make certain that they understood that their occupation is subordinate to their calling. This is not widely recognized.

Whenever it is not recognized, people have a tendency to overestimate the importance of their occupation. They become motivated primarily by money, prestige, or fame. They become sidetracked from the important issues of their lives.

On the other hand, some people are not highly motivated by anything connected to their job. The modern State welfare system enables them to gain a minimal living without working. For these people, a job may seem superfluous. So, when the going gets tough on the job, these people tend to resign. They quit. They go back onto the welfare system. They do not learn the basic skills associated with the job.

The longer they stay out of the labor market, the more likely they will not be able to get permanent employment.

The privately funded organization that invited me to give the lecture is dedicated to bringing to inner-city residents the basic skills of getting a job and managing a personal budget. One of the programs sponsored by this organization is a three-week class that trains people how to get their first job. The organization actually pays people to attend this three-week course. It raises money from donors who want to help people escape the welfare system. Sometimes, people enroll in the course, and then quit after a few days. Even though they are being paid to attend, they lose interest.

All of the people in the class were Afro Americans. Because only one of them was a male, I decided from the beginning that my goal was to explain the difference between calling and occupation in terms that would be familiar to black women. I wanted to motivate most of the people who were in that room. Here is what I told them.