Man walks into a bar, theres a genie at the bar and a migdet playing piano in the far side of the room. The guy walks up to the genie and asks "Hey, you grant wishes right." Genie sighs and says "yeah. What do you want?" And the guy goes, "How about a million bucks?" A moment later the door bursts open and the patrons that were lucky enough not to get crushed by the million ducks that suddenly occupied the bar were spilled out onto the street. As they are on the street, the man says "Jesus, that genie almost got me killed!" The midget who was playing the piano says "Yeah, apparently he has a hearing problem... I didn't ask to be a foot high pianist, you know."

There's an American guy, a chinese guy, and a mexican guy are on a small plane loaded with supplies. The plane starts to fall, and they agree that they need to ditch some supplies to keep the plane going. Chinese guy throws a bag of rice out the hatch, and the other two go, "What did you do that for?" The Chinese guy replies "Don't sweat it, I have a ****load of that in my country. The mexican guy throws a bag of beans out the hatch, the other two go "What did you do that for?" The mexican guy goes "Don't sweat it, i have a lot of that in my country. Suddenly, the american man seizes the mexican by the ankles and throws him out the plane. Horrified, the chinese man says "What did you do that for?" "Don't sweat it, I have alot of that in my country."

how many super saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

just 1, but it takes 10 episodes to do it.

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

25: One to screw it in and the others to brag about how they can do it better.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?


A bass player goes up to his band manager and goes "Tell the ****ing singer to stop detuning my strings!" the band manager goes "Which ones are he detuning?" and the bass player says "He won't tell me!"

What's the difference between a good jam band and the sasquatch?

People have actually seen the sasquatch
Schecter Omen-6
Line 6 Spider III
women's rights!

naw, im just kidding.

but really.
I have no opinion on this matter.
lol I haven't heard any of those, they're all pretty good.

Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl?
There was a restraining order
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible