learn before ill before ill be your friend; addictions will never mend
even just love his pills; even jesus loves the thrills
the tree's that grow no apples; are hard to fall far from
eyes are made so gentle; what a suprise

help me to help you, help me to help you
help me to help you smile at yourself

reflections arent so beautiful
but im ok with mine, as long as you are too
a point is translucent without a shadow; arrows fly better than birds
we'll cut each other apart; and say the same old words
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
I like some of the writing in this, but the rhyme scheme in the first stanza seems a little lopsided, and non existent in the stanza after the chorus, also it might be good to make this song a little longer.
It's a good piece, just needs a little tune up.
I would have to agree 100% with the person above me, but I would like to add a little more detail in my opinion.

I believe that the first line is a bit awkward to read, but that does not mean it would come out occur in who ever is singing the piece.

Second, I am not really in love with the whole "apple tree" analogy. Don't get me wrong I love the idea it is trying to show but I just feel that it is a bit "sluggish" to the whole piece.

You're going to get this a lot but the chorus writing compared to the "verses" seems a bit rushed and not as well rounded.

Overall, I think that this piece is very close to being good material but needs a new analogy for the tree, tighter chorus, and I would love one more stanza.

The idea behind the piece is thought out well too.