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#1
I've seen these threads floating around IMDB, time to bring it to UG.

When your girlfriend asks if you will stay together forever:
"Don't attatch yourself to anything you're not willing to leave in 30 seconds if you feel the heat around the corner." from Heat.

While giving a sermon at church:
"Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else." and "You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you." from Fight Club

When you have just been promoted in your job at a bank:
"Out these windows, we will view the collapse of financial history." also from Fight Club

What have you got UG?
#2
"Boy, I'd sure like to fuck that Dakota Fanning"

Anywhere.

Not sure where I heard it, but I'm pretty sure it's from a movie.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#3
When delivering pizza to an old folks home.

"So, I heard you ordered extra sausage on your pizza?"
*unzips*

Edit.

Maybe not so bad...
#4
Whilst at work (Hospital) dealing with a pedophile case and a patient...

Freddy got fingered


'He's a child molester' !!!!!

#7
Quote by shanchett99
that'll do pig, that'll do.

pretty much anything from a jackass movie.

In quarantine?
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#9
Job interview.

"What makes you think you're right for this job?"

I've got balls of steel.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#10
"I just felt like run-ayn" -Forest Gump
-Anywhere you're near retarded people.

"Please, just fu*k her for ME!!!" -Girl next Door
-Any given social situation.


That's all I got off the top of my head.

Funny thread idea, though.
XBL GamerTag = IAmSentient6

My gear:
Ibanez Artist
ESP ltd Viper 200
Schecter Diamond 8

Amps:
Marhshall MG30 (for sale)
Line 6 Spider III Half Stack (mine forever)
Interested in Melodic Thrash Metal? ALUSTRIUM AND LAST NAIL DRIVEN!
#11
Quote by dhutton
...after sex with the girlfriend...


>_>


<_<

well shit someone found out the original reference.

Here's Looking at you, kid- at a molestation case as the lawyer for the kid.


You're gonna need a bigger boat- when your gf is all like " i can't wait to feel good"
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
^
shanchett, you get an E for Effort

Quote by CodChick



ROFLLOBSTER
#12
"Where we're going, we don't need roads!"


-Presumably when driving off a cliff (and your car isn't a DeLorean and/or time machine)
#13
"Well, I believe in the soul, the ****, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days" - Kevin Costner as Crash Davis - Bull Durham.


when asked about if you're good at guitar
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
^
shanchett, you get an E for Effort

Quote by CodChick



ROFLLOBSTER
#14
"deeper! deeper! fuck me untill I bleed" - Anal Babes 7

that isnt really that good to use in any social situation tbh
#15
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
"deeper! deeper! fuck me untill I bleed" - Anal Babes 7

that isnt really that good to use in any social situation tbh



"but i poop from there"

when used to say "ahh" at the doctors.
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
^
shanchett, you get an E for Effort

Quote by CodChick



ROFLLOBSTER
#16
You: I do.
Bride: I do.
You: That'll do pig...that'll do.

Icedit:
@shanchett99-FUUUUUUU.
Last edited by Iceman 420 at Jul 7, 2009,
#18
While at you're mother's funeral, giving a eulogy

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"
Quote by GuitarGod_92
I feel like I should pay you in sexual favors for that truly fapic story.


Quote by esther_mouse
Aww thank you sweetie Made my day a little bit brighter.


^that post and others like it made mine a Lot brighter.
#19
At a funeral dont yell "THIS IS SPARTA!" consider yourself banned from the family reunion next year
I am Jesus...Lord of Chinese Food!
#20
+1 for the Fight Club quotes.

That movie is full of them.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#21
Anywhere:

"HE ****ING FINGERED HER!" - Haggard some film directed by Bam Margera I saw on Youtube.
#22
THIS IS SPARTA - seriously it was never funny

GET TO DU CHOPPAHHHH - That is funny
Im quite proud of that LOL

Quote by Unreal445
i found it funny that the pit reported it faster than sky news


Beneath The Fallen
#23
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!! LOTR, The fellowship of the ring.
Anywhere.

English; Mother-F**ker, do you speak it, Pulp Fiction.
At a funeral.
#24
Does He Look Like A Bitch?
"The future's uncertain, and The End is always near."
-Jim Morrison
#25
This is a tasty burger!

-Weightwatcher's meeting
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#26
Have you seen what a gun will do to a womans pussy? Now that you should see!
- Obviously during sex.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#28
Quote by chaoticfables
If you say 'Smokin'!' like Jim Carrey does, you instantly lose 500 Karma points.

E-cookie for reference.


Teh Mask????????


"Say hello to my little friend!" - Scarface
Anywhere

Any quote from the Notebook
When around a group of straight dudes.

Four main food groups: Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corns and Syrup.
Dentist Office
#29
So I was in this class called, "Life and Careers" in 8th. The teacher was a total bitch and had this really weird grading system, some being D-1 for losing a point, and H+5 for gaining 5 and a lot of other ones. We were sewing one day, and my sewing machine acted up on me, so I called her over to help me with it. She then looks at it...and turns to me looking pissed off, and says, "Very bad Michael you broke the machine...DS-5!!! DS-5!!!" Me being pretty pissed off myself and not knowing what the **** she meant, I said "English mother****er, do you speak it??" I got sent done to the office and had to write a letter to her saying I was sorry.
Last edited by schecter ftw at Jul 7, 2009,
#30
Now lets see whats been keeping Hoss' balls at attention all this years-Otis the devils rejects
*lust list*
Vox tone lab
Vox ac50
satchurator
satches time machine
vintage phase 90
Money towards this gear = $0.00

Quote by Doctor Matthews
Yeah I dreamt I was fighting Master Hand, but then I woke up to realize I was jackin' it in my sleep.
#31
Quote by Ganoosh
+1 for the Fight Club quotes.

That movie is full of them.

what? Fight Club? Filled with Fight Club quotes? I would never believe it!
#33
Quote by Cameronrobson
(During Sex)

" I have Aides "

"I think everyone should have aides, even children! Aides really helped me lose weight!"
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#34
Quote by schecter ftw
So I was in this class called, "Life and Careers" in 8th. The teacher was a total bitch and had this really weird grading system, some being D-1 for losing a point, and H+5 for gaining 5 and a lot of other ones. We were sewing one day, and my sewing machine acted up on me, so I called her over to help me with it. She then looks at it...and turns to me looking pissed off, and says, "Very bad Michael you broke the machine...DS-5!!! DS-5!!!" Me being pretty pissed off myself and not knowing what the **** she meant, I said "English mother****er, do you speak it??" I got sent done to the office and had to write a letter to her saying I was sorry.

I wouldve said the same thing!
#35
Quote by CTFOD
"I think everyone should have aides, even children! Aides really helped me lose weight!"

Well, I was quoting Philadelphia, but alright.
The full thing on IMDB is
Joe Miller: "What's wrong with your face?"
Andrew Beckett: "I have AIDS. "
two and a half men.
#36
Screaming, "GET IN THE CHOPPA!" Not good when pointing at my beat up car, especially when your trying to woo the lady your shouting it at.

She thought I was nuts =/


EDIT: WTF!? I just read the other posts. Every other post is "get in tha choppa". Thought I was so original, damnit.
Better than Jesus, Megatron and T-Rex combined.

-
(. Y .)(. Y .)
- ) . ( - ) . (
- \ v / - \ v /


This ^ is why I'm right.
Last edited by Tea Cup at Jul 7, 2009,
#38
I thought I was gonna have a threesome in a hotel room that smelt like tuna the other day and I was singing The Final Countdown, nothing really got going so I left.
#39
when two negatively charged ions try to react, dont say Bond. James Bond. unless your 1 cool mother****er
say hello, to my little friend!!

(\__/)
(='.'=)Bunny
(")_(")

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies but one.

Tupac Shakur.
#40
Quote by schecter ftw
So I was in this class called, "Life and Careers" in 8th. The teacher was a total bitch and had this really weird grading system, some being D-1 for losing a point, and H+5 for gaining 5 and a lot of other ones. We were sewing one day, and my sewing machine acted up on me, so I called her over to help me with it. She then looks at it...and turns to me looking pissed off, and says, "Very bad Michael you broke the machine...DS-5!!! DS-5!!!" Me being pretty pissed off myself and not knowing what the **** she meant, I said "English mother****er, do you speak it??" I got sent done to the office and had to write a letter to her saying I was sorry.


Gutted like, thing to do next time is quote Stiffler:
"Hey, how about I give you a spoon so you can eat my ass"

I dunno......

Its been a long day
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