#1
C4C!

inherited
i hold the next handful of life
it is not unique, handcrafted
it's carbon copied
one part progress
two parts decomposed
another piece to fill in the blueprint
of what i'll hate living in

created
am i here to change something?
i doubt i'm on the right path
guilt is behind the wheel
i'm buckled in tight, going where i will
and i've never changed anything

now i see the full design
it's quite changed, from so far away
was it always so blemished?

i'm flying down the highway
i love living in all this
if i'm to blame, it's okay
if not, whatever
it's all more miss than hit
and in every way, inherited
We're only strays.
#2
this was great. i, myself, would have trouble writing music for this... it just isnt something i would write.
but this is good.
i'd love to hear it finished.
im sure it will be amazing.
#3
I really liked the detached tone that this piece had, since I was able to relate to the thoughts of the narrator. (and I'm sure a lot others are able to also) The first stanza was excellent. Maybe I don't read enough, but I thought that stanza was really unique and original. Also I thought the little subtle rhymes you had going on where great. They helped the piece flow along very smoothly. But the last line of second stanza bothered. To me it just doesn't seem to flow/connect well enough with the previous line. Anyways, nice job, man.

Crit mine please
The Xelabelax Hotline
#4
loved the lyrics man. in my mind this is either Nu-metal or death metal. what style r u heading for?
WTMOTHERF! Make me a cow plz!
#5
Thanks for the replies. The music style is going to be kind of progressive, melodic rock.
We're only strays.