jbridge90
More Ovaltine Please!
Join date: Mar 2008
654 IQ
#1
Hey guys this is a piece I've been working on over the past couple of days. I only have the intro and first verse written, so don't expect 5 minutes of song. I'm relatively pleased with what I've done to start, but I have no idea where I should take it, so if you could, after critiquing the song I would appreciate a suggestion or two on what YOU would do next.

Oh and leave me a link so I can comment on one of your songs
Attachments:
New Rock Song.gp5
Msu_Man04
UG's Twitchy Fella
Join date: Jan 2007
1,811 IQ
#2
Hm. Well, the bass is a little unorthodox, but it's actually very appealing. I like it. I like how those four chromatic notes are used (C#, D, D#, and E) but it still sounds good. Not too much else to crit. Good job here.

I'd go for a pre-chorus, probably moving the chording predominately to A, instead of how you have it as E for 4 bars, then D for for bars. Make it between A and B or something. I dunno. XD
CarlosAlejandro
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2009
516 IQ
#3
I like your song, it make me remenber some of guns and rosses lol .. Its okay, the bass line makes this hmm i guees that " Happy " .. Good work dude ..

Tell me about that :

Another Day - Rock Progressive
" Living the world as the music makes me feel "
HWFG1
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
222 IQ
#4
That's actually really good. I enjoyed it. I would've done something like this, just to off-set the mood a little (you may not like it, I dunno; if you do, you're welcome to take it)
Attachments:
New Rock Song.gp5
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." - George Carlin
jbridge90
More Ovaltine Please!
Join date: Mar 2008
654 IQ
#5
Quote by HWFG1
That's actually really good. I enjoyed it. I would've done something like this, just to off-set the mood a little (you may not like it, I dunno; if you do, you're welcome to take it)


Thanks for the comments everyone.

And to this, I did enjoy it, but I'm not sure if its what I'm want, so I'm writing on this part you gave, and another part I wrote. I figure when I'm done with both pieces I'll just choose whichever the UG community and I think is the best.

But here's where v2 is starting to go. Its just 8 bars more.
Attachments:
New Rock Song.gp5
Its_Rock77
Anthony Green Fanboy <3
Join date: Jul 2007
1,501 IQ
#6
saturday, saturday, saturday night's all right........


but I liked it. my amount of like is clouded by my noticing a similarity in melody (although it's hardly there I promise you) to the elton john song

regardless, good work. that's all I really have for you. sorry :/
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
jbridge90
More Ovaltine Please!
Join date: Mar 2008
654 IQ
#7
Quote by Its_Rock77
saturday, saturday, saturday night's all right........


but I liked it. my amount of like is clouded by my noticing a similarity in melody (although it's hardly there I promise you) to the elton john song

regardless, good work. that's all I really have for you. sorry :/


Oh really I don't think I've ever listened to Elton John. I'm looking it up now.

Thanks for the comment anyways.

J-Edit: I listened to both the original, and Nicklebacks version, and my song has a totally different feel. Although I went and listened to my song after that, and it sounded like the guitar was screaming SATURDAY, SATURDAYSATURDAYSATURDAY, SATURDAY at me. But the guitar melodies definitely aren't even close to the same.
Last edited by jbridge90 at Jul 9, 2009,
Its_Rock77
Anthony Green Fanboy <3
Join date: Jul 2007
1,501 IQ
#8
Quote by jbridge90
Oh really I don't think I've ever listened to Elton John. I'm looking it up now.

Thanks for the comment anyways.

J-Edit: I listened to both the original, and Nicklebacks version, and my song has a totally different feel. Although I went and listened to my song after that, and it sounded like the guitar was screaming SATURDAY, SATURDAYSATURDAYSATURDAY, SATURDAY at me. But the guitar melodies definitely aren't even close to the same.


exactly why I put in my little clause afterwords. It is not similar but simply reminds me very much of the elton john song which unfortunately made me want to listen to that song instead. I don't know.

but I'm now even more sad that Nickleback covered it
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
jbridge90
More Ovaltine Please!
Join date: Mar 2008
654 IQ
#9
Quote by Its_Rock77
exactly why I put in my little clause afterwords. It is not similar but simply reminds me very much of the elton john song which unfortunately made me want to listen to that song instead. I don't know.

but I'm now even more sad that Nickleback covered it



Yeah... I wasn't too impressed by the cover.