#1
Look down this road
See where we’ve been
rewrite this story
I want you again

My heart is due to you
you reject It I turn blue
we had ambition
then we falied this mission

Don’t wanna give up
Together we are strong
Love lasts forever
Never say never

I rise and fall for you
I live and die for you
Your all I want
Your everything I’m not

Who would have guessed
That I was blessed
Like the angels
That soar so h-i-g-h
that i called you m-i-n-e

Love can be painful
But it turns around
trust me on this one
don’t make a sound

While I try and sleep
I see how lucky I am
You gave it one last try
Together forever

Ill hold you tight
All my life
Just promise me one thing
You’ll stay by my side

I rise and fall for you
I live and die for you
Your all I want
Your everything I’m not

Who would have guessed
That I was blessed
Like the angels
That soar so h-i-g-h
that i called you m-i-n-e

you say you want me
but thats a lie
I give you my heart
and you make me cry

im fine without you
im glad your gone
Why cant you see
we werent meant to be

Look down this road
See where we’ve been
rewrite this story
I dont want you again


this my first song tell me what you think
#2
ummmm wow really good i should post my song but its unfortunantly gay, and sucks buuuuuuuuuut hey what do i know. but like i said good song you should have like a totally wicked solo in it, LIKE NOVEMBER RAIN.
#3
This was extremely cliche, and sounded way more like a poem than a song. Perhaps try to expand the lines a bit.

It was the only task I would undertake...

I P R O G
...to reap the harvest that was mine


- [ P R O G - H E A D ? ] -
#4
my thoughts exactly^

lines were too short and dull.
cliche.
the rhymes were forced.
just not feeling it.


expand a little.
it just needs work,
it has potential.
but as of now, it lacks just about everything.


sorry.