my dad developed pictues in broad daylight,
my mom found seven words that rhyme with orange.
i train rattlesnakes to jump through hoops
and i do calculus in pen

i guessed the ending of the sixth sense from watching the trailer
i tought a paraplegic how to rhyde a unicycle
i told my neighbor "Watch out!"
seven years later he got hit by a Camaro

at the funeral i gave a speech
that put MLK to shame.
and by the end of the day, i made sure
that everybody knew my name.

you can call me Buck Rogers,
or Flash Gordon if you prefer.
I've come to save the world, but don't get me wrong
I'm doing it for myself.