whenever i write songs, i always write the music first and the lyrics later. however, when i write the lyrics it usually isn't 'with' the song if you know what i mean. i write the lyrics more as a poem that i then try to fit with the chords and the melody. however i'm not a vocalist so i'm not really sure how to make it all work together. when i try to sing the words, it's always exactly with the beat and it just ends up sounding choppy and sort of lumbering. like if the song stresses beats 1, 2, 3 and then 1, 2+, then those are the only places that i can ever 'put' the words. i think this is because i'm not writing a separate melody for the vocals, just trying to sing them over the music after everything else has been recorded.

so i guess my question is when you write songs, do you write a specific melody for the vocals and then write lyrics that can be sung to that melody? or do you come up with chords/harmony and try to sing lyrics you've written in a way that 'feels' right? sorry if this is vague; it's kind of an abstract concept and it's hard to express correctly. thanks in advance for responses.
i write music and lyrics seperately,
then i feel out what goes with what
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for starters, everyone writes songs differently. Personally I usually write chords or something and then play those and sing whatever comes to mind until i find something