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#1
Give me all of your terrible, so bad it's almost funny jokes.

How do you get three Charizards, two Snorlax's, and a Mankey onto a bus?

You poke-em-on!

Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#2
What did Moses part the Red Sea with?

A see-saw.
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#3
What do you call a hot dog with a jacket on?

A chilly dog
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#7
Quote by ctb
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the Searchbar.


Do you actually search for old threads before you say that, or are you just naturally a jackass?

EDIT:
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#8
Why did the cow go to Hollywood?


To star in a MOOvie....


GEAR:
MiM Fender Stratocaster
Crate GLX212 120 Watt amp
Boss CH.......


You don't care do you?

CLUB SANDWICHES, NOT SEALS
IIIIIIIIIIIExplosions and Boobs. IIIIIIIIIIIII

...mmm, grass
#9
How do you wake lady GaGa up?

You poke her face.
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Yamaha Pacifica 112
Alvarez SLM
Orange Dark Terror
Orange PPC212OB 2x12 cab
Yamaha P-85 Keyboard
#11
Why did the man climb the tree?


Because he felt like it.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#12
Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you"?
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Yamaha Pacifica 112
Alvarez SLM
Orange Dark Terror
Orange PPC212OB 2x12 cab
Yamaha P-85 Keyboard
#13
Quote by imafool18
Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you"?

Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#14
not dirty ummm i have to think long and hard now hmmmmmm and it must be corny....... hmmmmmm OKAY got it

why was the baby strawberry crying??


beacause her mother was in a jam..

my I.Q. dropped a few points........
so did my self esteem, or what was left of it
#15
#16
Quote by guitarmaniac327
Why did the cow go to Hollywood?


To star in a MOOvie....



it was your sad face that made me laugh.
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~ Jimi Hendrix

UG Backing Track Band
UG Rock Opera
Check out my songs for it

Currently e-single. Hit me up ladies
#17
Have you heard about the glass maker that fell into a glass grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
#18
Why did the pickle bring a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to High School.
Quote by alteredstates
If you are rowing down the road in your canoe and your wagon wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to make a doghouse?

Green, because a vest has no sleeves.

Can't we all just get a bong?
#19
farrah fawcett, micheal jackson, and ed mcmahon all died. leave it to billy mays to throw one in for free
i always come to UG for a tab, but get sucked into the pit

[SoWrongItsMatt]Have you tried, "Sex on fire?"



[[x]Huffy[x]]Either way I'm gonna be too stoned to care.

what he said.^

i love qotsa

mymusic
enjoy it.
#20
Cyanide Drip

Quote by Myfirstpubes
you're saying that everytime someone in the Pit fapped, they produced magic? Wow, we'd be in fucking Narnia by now by the Pit's rate of masturbation.


Quote by larrytheguitar
I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.
#21
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#22
Quote by Wulphy
5 months ago, 6 months ago, 3 years ago, and 4 years ago.

I'm pretty sure thread reviving is a warnable offence.


Only if you post in one like:

OMG MEGA BUMP OLOLOLOLO

If you have something to add to the topic theres nothing wrong with that.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#23
What's grey and can't climb trees?

A car park.
Quote by Stormx
I tremble before your enormous penis.
Quote by molala2
and i farted, it was really stink
Quote by italiarlz135
Led Pepplin, you are god because of this thread.
Quote by josh999x, Brick23


#25
Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken.

Every morning, I take my dog for a tramp in the fields.
Does the dog enjoy it?
Yes, but the tramp's getting rather fed up.

MY DOG HAS NO NOSE!
HOW DOES HE SMELL?!
AWFUL!

A deadbeat needed a hearing aid, but didn't have money to pay for one. Instead, he painted a swastika on his forehead.
"How does that help your hearing?" asked a friend.
"It doesn't," he replied, "but everyone yells at me now.

"Our daughter's extremely smart. Every time she sends us a letter, we have to go run to the dictionary."
"Lucky. Every time our daughter writes us, we have to go run to the bank."

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
#26
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had noBODY to go with.


There have been a trillion threads posted on this site, there is hardly anything completely original. Nobody wants to pick up ancient threads. Who gives a hearty **** about the searchbar, really?
#27
Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
How do you kill a mong?


Shoot TS in the face.


lol south africa.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I stick stuff in my pee hole.

Gear:

Schecter C-1 Classic
Ibanez S670PB
Stratocaster MIM Standard
Marshall MG30 (its purple )
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
#28
Quote by The Pickle Man
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had noBODY to go with.


There have been a trillion threads posted on this site, there is hardly anything completely original. Nobody wants to pick up ancient threads. Who gives a hearty **** about the searchbar, really?


This guy's right! **** UG's rules.

Quote by Stormx
I tremble before your enormous penis.
Quote by molala2
and i farted, it was really stink
Quote by italiarlz135
Led Pepplin, you are god because of this thread.
Quote by josh999x, Brick23


#29
why didnt the pirate get into the movie?...


because it was rated........ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..........
ಠ_ಠ
- Yes, My name is actually Terran -
- Not just a Starcraft fan -


Terran > Zerg and Protoss
#30
It smells like up-dog in here...
"The rule of law -- it must be held high! And if it falls you pick it up and hold it even higher!" - Hercule Poirot

© Soul Power
Last edited by Soul Power at Jul 10, 2009,
#31
What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Board

edit: haha holy sh i t I didn't know anyone else had that name. I got mine from the original slipknot cd Mate.Feed.Kill.Repeat.
All my friends are Imaginary


"There was much of the beautiful,
much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible,
and not a little of that which might have excited disgust"


Swan Song
A Story by the Earl of Slander
Last edited by m.f.k.r at Jul 10, 2009,
#32
^
I think someone stole my name

and... what's brown and sticky?
Quote by DirtyMakik
Listen to this man, he's got Alex in his avatar, he knows his sh!t.

Quote by dubstar92
awesome avatar dude




Wow a signature
#34
two condoms walk by a gay bar.

One says to the other, "do you wanna get SHi t faced?"


YEAH! ಠ_ಠ
#35
Quote by Wulphy
Do you actually search for old threads before you say that, or are you just naturally a jackass?

EDIT:


both
Quote by GuitarGod_92
I feel like I should pay you in sexual favors for that truly fapic story.


Quote by esther_mouse
Aww thank you sweetie Made my day a little bit brighter.


^that post and others like it made mine a Lot brighter.
#36
Quote by Tango616
why didnt the pirate get into the movie?...


because it was rated........ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..........

Spongebob
Quote by mfkr
what's brown and sticky?

...a stick.
#37
Quote by chaoticfables
Spongebob

...a stick.


Nope.


Poo.
Quote by DirtyMakik
Listen to this man, he's got Alex in his avatar, he knows his sh!t.

Quote by dubstar92
awesome avatar dude




Wow a signature
#38
Two guys walk into a bar. Chuck Norris walks through it
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. Chuck Norris walks through it
A midget walks into a bar. The bartender asks "How's the weather down there" The midget replies "Florida ain't bad"
A black man and a Mexican walk into a bar. Chuck Norris walks through it
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