#1
We came up with some songs a week ago or so and we know its bad but we have no idea how to make it a bit better. these are our first songs we ever wrote and it doesn't sound good .We have no vocals yet because no one can sing so i guess it will sound less boring with some vocals .

(yes i know i ****ed both 'solos' up don't pay any attention to them they sound a lot different than how i usually play them . I've only been playing for 2 years )

It's recorded with a portable camera so the sound will be really bad.

*We made some new parts for the songs

I uploaded a new version ,crappily played
( haven't played together for a month and bassist hasn't played at all for a month.)
but you get the idea .
So is this better or worse? Any help is appreciated and c4c ofcourse.
(if I gave crit to your songs already the bassist or drummer will crit the songs so you will get a different opinion.)


(Songs are in profile )
Last edited by Waffleguy at Aug 13, 2009,
#2
I think you're being overly harsh on yourselves personally, but I did find it quite amusing. I can't say much about it without the vocals, but I think it could have a reallly Nirvana feel to it with them, depending on the vocalist.

As for ****ing up the solo, ah who cares, it clearly isn't the final version.

The only thing I would say is that it seems to be very repetitive, and I can't tell what would be a verse, a riff...etc. Thats my only criticism. I look forward to hearing more when its completed and improved! Keep it up!

Oh and if you fancy it - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1159698 then check out my stuff and gimme some crit!
#3
First thing is to get something better to record with if you plan on trying to do any serious recording. Better quality and a better mix would help the sound infinitely. Now musically I wouldn't say you sucked by any means the songs have potential. The biggest problem I saw was to much repetition. Even the best riff when played endlessly with out any breaks becomes boring. Try doing something like playing the riff 3 times then playing a 1 measure pentatonic lick or another riff and repeat the whole cycle it will mix things up and keep it interesting. Lyrics will also be huge in helping with repetition but you already addressed that. I didn't hear a bass line in either of the songs. A bass in there would really help fill out the sound and could help it flow. I'm listening on crappy laptop speakers though so that might be why. The other thing is on plz comment when you do those exotic sounding parts you need something behind it, a second guitar and bass doing a simple chord progression in the back ground would add a lot, or if you don't have access to that playing it harmonized partly or completely in 3rds, 4ths, 5ths, or even 6ths could work.

Having said all that I only really heard the one guitar and the drums so I'm guessing that's all the band consists of thus far. For recording purposes you could get even a small multi track recorder to add an extra guitar part and a bass part, or even better if you can find a bassist and another guitarist one of whom can sing you'd be set with a pretty good band and be able to do so much more with your music.

Hope this helped. I'd appreciate your input on my music. Links in sig.
#4
Hmm we're going to work on the repetitive thing

@WuGuitarist We have a bassist but with the bad quality of the recordings and laptop speakers you probably can't hear it . i know some other guitarists so perhaps ii should go and ask if they want to join . We just started playing and we first want to sound reasonably decent before we put some money in recording stuff .


I appreciate your input and I'm going to crit your works tomorrow because i don't have a lot of time now
#6
I thought they we're pretty good songs, for the most part. Other than the less than desirable quality of the recordings, they were a bit repetitive. Throw in a bridge and alter the riffs up a bit and you should be set. It will also sound better with a vocalist, of course. Anyway, good job man. I look forward to hearing them done properly. =)
#7
It's certainly not bad. You guys sound like you're together. Yes the recording quality is bad and yes it would be a lot more interesting with vocals. Get a singer and i bet quite a few places in your town could use your telent. keep playing!! takes time
leave some milk for the cows!!!!!!
#8
Hey thanks for the critique !

I like you songs, that reminds me of my favourite band: Electric Six

Your songs would be better with the vocals, but the instrumental parts are pretty cool! Particulary the drum part which is cool and catchy.

But yeah the solos are not great :p you can work on it there's no problems!

To me the first song is better than the second one.

You play the guitar right? For how long have you been playing?
#9
yeah ,I play the guitar i've been playing for 2 and a half year , the bassist 1 and a half an the drummer 3.The band has been together for a year now but we played cover songs at first and only could rehearse once per month or so . But now we're trying to get some original songs.
Thanks for the crit we are going to record the songs again with some new parts and try to get the bassist to sing.
#11
Hey, thanks for the crit...

Meuuuh -
I really like the opening riff, and the drums and go with it... sound very nirvanaish (if that's a work ;P)... the second riff fits in nicely with the main riff, and drums are very well played to back the transitions.
Try to repeat parts a bit more, it seems as if there are loads of parts fused into one... but once you add vocals it may be abit clearer.
Solo seems fine, and as an above poster said - this is not the final version, so don't worry about mistakes!

Echo -
This opening riff caught me off a bit, it's different in my opinion... but different is better for me.
Try to experiment with tones when you record this one, could be very interesting to see how you interpret this one on the guitar.
The drums still sound very nirvanay (is that better?) in this one, so kudos to your drummer... he's maintained his own style, but got the skill of the nirvana drummer.
The solo i like, and don't worry about mistakes.

Keep it up! Not bad for a jam, not bad at all!
AJ
#12
i listend to echo. nice live feel. youre being way way to hard on youresellves. these are the start to some great songs. they were a little bit of all genras mixed together. reminded me of 90's stuff. good job. the composing is there. the timing did seem off in a couple places so work on that. just playing it more should take care of it. otherwise add vocals/cool lyrics and these could be some great tunes. keep it up. i cant wait to hear it when its done.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1178270
#13
you know what, they are both good songs in progress. everything starts somewhere and with a few more jams on it you come up with more riffs.
just **** around throw something in somewhere if works great if not laugh it off and try something else.
the only thing i think needs work is the timing get that and you'll sound great.

any chance you could crit my album?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1178499

cheers and keep at it.
peace
Last edited by metal105 at Aug 8, 2009,
#15
First thing that came into my head was that the opening riff in meuuhh sounded alot like the chorus riff from Pennywise's song My God. But forget about that. The songs aren't bad at all, the recording quality is bad. And I think if you can find a vocalist you will be in pretty good shape.
In terms of making your songs better, you probably dont want to hear this, but the only sure way to do that is to practice. If you keep at it and really do your best with your songwriting every time, you will naturally become better with time and experience.
C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1181039
Thanks and take care
Last edited by TV-Casualty at Aug 13, 2009,
#16
remo: um recording quality is terible. sound is pretty tight. drums are very simple. and too loud. i like it though. does get a bit repeptitive.

Meuhh: i like the guitar line. the clean sounds nice. the "chorus riff" seems a bit like it's been used in other songs.
Too cool for a signature.
#17
Maybe tone down the drums just bit, their placement in the mix is sort of awkward. For instrumental they certainly kept my attention, and I'm usually more of lyrics kind of guy.
Pot
Kettle
Black
#18
It really doesn't sound all that bad man. Just recording quality. THe drummer is pretty good, I enjoyed some of his short fills. I agree with an above poster that its very nirvana. JUst get a good singer, and clean up the playing a bit, you'll be on your way.