#1
Here we are tonight
Want to make sure it's alright
Tell her how you feel
Everything Revealed
And live a happy ever after

And then she calls
Drops it all
Wonders why you even tried
You begin to cry
She wished you well
You wished she'd go straight to hell

Your the kite
Your the string
She's the girl that ****ed up everything
Your the dog
Your the leash
She's the girl that never gave you peace
She's the bridge
She's the moss
Your the guy that just wants to cross

But she won't let you, oh no . . .

Here we are tonight
In the middle of a fight
Room begins to spin
It's the end
Of a happy ever after

You wipe your tears
Begin to fear
A lifetime of loneliness
Told you it's okay
But it's time for you to go your separate ways

Your the kite
Your the string
She's the girl that ****ed up everything
Your the dog
Your the leash
She's the girl that never gave you peace
She's the bridge
She's the moss
Your the guy that just wants to cross

But she won't let you, oh no she'll never let you . . .

[END]

Questions, Comments, Criticisms?
No one throws away porn, their like heirlooms, pass them down your family tree!
#2
Quote by Kn1fer
Here we are tonight
Want to make sure it's alright
Tell her how you feel
Everything Revealed
And live a happy ever after

And then she calls
Drops it all
Wonders why you even tried
You begin to cry
She wished you well
You wished she'd go straight to hell
Watch the syllable count on the last line

Your the kite
Your the string
She's the girl that ****ed up everything
Your the dog
Your the leash
She's the girl that never gave you peace
She's the bridge
She's the moss
Your the guy that just wants to cross

But she won't let you, oh no . . .

Here we are tonight
In the middle of a fight
Room begins to spin
It's the end
Of a happy ever after

You wipe your tears
Begin to fear
A lifetime of loneliness
Told you it's okay
But it's time for you to go your separate ways
again watch the syllable count

Your the kite
Your the string
She's the girl that ****ed up everything
Your the dog
Your the leash
She's the girl that never gave you peace
She's the bridge
She's the moss
Your the guy that just wants to cross
moss seems like a word that was just entered for the sake of a rhyme, perhaps the word boss would be more pertinent?

But she won't let you, oh no she'll never let you . . .

[END]

Questions, Comments, Criticisms?


not bad, room for improvement, you used metaphor quite well, but where was the imagery?

mind critting one of mine? preferably we don't stand a chance.
"I is another." - Rimbaud