#1
I feel this may be too cliched/cheesy so i wanted folks opinions that hopefully wouldnt mock me too much......

Im slipping down a path of anger and hate,
Sh*t this life seems just so f**king great,
At what point did the relationship stumble and break
Your pit deepened and deepened, turning into a right jake.

Its at a stage now its just too damn late,
You had it all all tossed it away,
Was it not enough, Would you blame it on fate?
Its tearing me apart, youve hurt so many and gained f**k all anyway

I dont know what the swearing situation is on these forums so if i've broke rules i apologise mod man.

Well that was it so far, so give me your opinions thanks

x
When you are past the stage of noob, you then become a geek.....

Epiphones are the way forward! <3
Last edited by Callum_29 at Jul 12, 2009,
#2
Its a good start but knowing the genre of music your writing for would help. Also, what does "turning into a right jake" mean?
Quote by axethrower13
But you only die once, so you may as well experience it to the fullest.

Quote by ozzyismetal
Get her a goat. Bitches love goats.

Quote by Weaponxclaws
Plus, naturally I scream satanic rituals while unleashing the demon. It's a marvelous resurrection.
#4
I am not a regular in the lyrics forum but I think you should repost the thread with the title of the song as the thread title, otherwise some people might report you.

BTW, when you say "turned into a right jake", do you mean jake as the water container?

Otherwise, it is great . It would help if the genre is known as well.
The cliched "rig" Signature:

ESP LTD EC-1000VBL (EMG-ed)
Dean Cadillac SilverBurst Left-handed
Boss GT-8
Roland Micro-Cube
Line 6 FlexTone III XL
Levy's straps
Last edited by crimson moon at Jul 12, 2009,
#5
Its a rock song,

And the turning into a right jake is scottish slang for alcoholic btw:L

Thanks for the opinions aswell folks
When you are past the stage of noob, you then become a geek.....

Epiphones are the way forward! <3