#1
While listening is an art, silence is a masterpiece.

With nothing to gain but apathy, i plunge into the dark sea
Terrified of what lies beneath, plummeting is only gratified by complacency.
I hear the screams of your ghost through the wall,
I cannot speak.
I cannot hear.
I cannot see.
I cannot be.

Leave your coat at the door,
And pick up your gift bag at the funeral.
For this dance of lies has become ritual.

As i burn into nothing, you sink into an asphyxiation so comforting
That only a feeble man could turn into a bed fit for a king.

Reacting violently in water, this soul has become sodium.
Pure pandamonium, with a lonely man staning at the podium.
Waiting for life.
Waiting for the answer that only a desperate man could ask.
I have yet to convince this secret monster to take off his mask.

So now i wait.
Patiently, but not sympathetically.
I ask these questions not for myself,
But just rhetorically.

While listening is an art, silence is a masterpiece.
Last edited by itwasaghost at Jul 13, 2009,
#2
I thought it was great! It's got this weird Misfits/Tool vibe. It's weird, but it works. Really the only thing I would change is too add more description to it. It doesn't seem too clear what it's actually about.
#3
Thank you for the feedback. The reason it is so vague is because if I elaborated, then people would know faaaaar too much about me. So I leave it up to interpretation with metaphors. I have never been able to write any other way!
#4
I thought it was great! The only thing I felt didn't quite jive was the "sodium - pandemonium - podium" part.