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#1
This dude is one badass video game store owner. He calls himself the Gord.

The Gord Goes 2 and 0.

A quiet night as the Gord was preparing a letter to be sent off. Then suddenly an individual runs up and kicks the front door to the store as hard as he can.

"What the hell is he doing?" thought the Gord as he stood up.

The attacker tried a second time to kick the door down. Failing that, he turned and left the scene.

The Gord was an angry Gord, and the Gord was a vengeful Gord.

The Gord hopped over the counter and exited the store. He quickly caught up to the two would be thieves across the street from the staircase exit to a lower level nightclub.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" queried the Gord in a most unpleasant fashion.

"We're just walking" was the response.

"Trying to kick down doors is a part of your walk!?" questioned the Gord.

"You want trouble? You got trouble!" spoke one of the two individuals that Gord had stopped. The individual pulled out a metal pipe from his jacket.

The Gord was curious why he hadn't used that to try and take the door down.

Anyway, the vandal wasn't very proficient in using a weapon and levelled it above his head in a threatening fashion. Fortunately the Gord was trained for just this scenario. He stepped in, ensured the arm could not swing the pipe at the Gord while the Gord's other hand came up and proceeded to send the vandals nose into his cranium. The stories are true. When you do that to a person there truly is blood everywhere.

While the vandal was dropping back and screaming in pain as his blood went everywhere, the second vandal stood in surprise. Before the first person even hits the ground the Gord side kicked the second person in the chest and send him careening down a cement staircase.

The conflict was resolved in two hits. The Gord was 2 and 0.

The Gord picked up the pipe and returned to the store. Shortly there after the police and paramedics arrived. According to one of the officers on the scene a group of four guys gang beat up the two guys. Or at least, that was their story.

For if you cross the Gord, the Gord shall strike you down!

Yeah, many hours of reading await you. Go. http://actsofgord.com/
#5
I kept thinking of a giant talking squash the whole time.

My things:
Bowes SLx7
Washburn WG587
Washburn X40Pro
Washburn X50
Washburn HM24
Washburn WR150
Laguna LE200s
Arietta Acoustic
First Act
Valveking 112
VHT Deliverance

#8
i bet gords voice sounds like arnold's
e-adopted to mdwallin and chaoticfables!
#10
**** this is awesome
This shit is Pie.
Black Metal Pie.
It talks about winter.
Join if you like, or kindly leave.
Or else you die.

i like shooping
shoop da wooping
and chargin mah lazorz
not necessarily in that order
#12
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
he sounds like a total bundle of sticks....


It's all just in fun, you don't actually take it seriously...
All Hail! The Kala-Kala Chieftain!
#14
Quote by weeeeeeeeeeeeee
That's a cool story but it doesn't leave much room for discussion

There's a whole website of stories to discuss.
#15
ive been reading those stories for the past two hours, and im still not done
This shit is Pie.
Black Metal Pie.
It talks about winter.
Join if you like, or kindly leave.
Or else you die.

i like shooping
shoop da wooping
and chargin mah lazorz
not necessarily in that order
#17
Quote by xaviergray
It took me about 2 minutes to realize that "Gord" is short for "Gordan"

I had to read this post before I realized "Gord" was short for "Gordan"
#19
Quote by pantera456
I imagined coach z when I read "acts of gord"

Great jaerb on that reference!

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#20
I finished reading all of them. God, I wish they still updated the site. Last update was in 2001.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#21
All I have left is Chronicles. It's this thread's fault I didn't go to bed til after 3

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#22
I think by Gord, he meant Joe Walsh.
Quote by SlackerBabbath

I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
#23
Quote by Pencil Man
I think by Gord, he meant Joe Walsh.

O.o...He could've just meant gordan...
#24
And by Gordan, he meant Gorgon.


or Joe Walsh.
Quote by SlackerBabbath

I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
#27
Anyone else think a weekly webcomic loosely based on this guy would be, ah, awesome?

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#28
Quote by SteveHouse
Anyone else think a weekly webcomic loosely based on this guy would be, ah, awesome?

Let's get on that.
Daron. The Pit loves you.
daron aka kosmic is now a pit legend
Best post on the pit. Good for you.
thats pretty epic.
So you're like a slower paced Forrest Gump...
Yup...
#29
Quote by SteveHouse
Anyone else think a weekly webcomic loosely based on this guy would be, ah, awesome?


One of his coworkers (or friends?) made a comic about him. I found everything I could involving him. I want moar.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#30
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt
One of his coworkers (or friends?) made a comic about him. I found everything I could involving him. I want moar.

Where.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#33
Quote by SonOfSanguinus
Ah, I remember this site. It is really a shame he doesn't update anymore.

Maybe he died...


Nope. He's around. I think he lives in Japan, though.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#34
Damn you jsnate! I've been sat for nearly an hour now reading through the acts of gord!
That, my friend, was a fail of epic proportions!

The Pit's new name:
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Gentleman's Society for the Careful Discussion of Sensitive Issues, Covering (But Not Limited To) Religion, Politics, Fruit and The Female Form.


MY GOATS WERE CRYING
#35
Quote by khazzar
Damn you jsnate! I've been sat for nearly an hour now reading through the acts of gord!

It's great right? This dude is awesome.
#36
I know a guy spells it Gordan
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#37
awesome. I wish the guy at my local game store was that awesome
VERY METAL!
\m/
RIP Ronnie James Dio

Quote by metaldud536
RazorTheAwesome, if I was a Ditto, I'd transform into YOU

Quote by Kensai
Basically god wanted to punish people for getting educated/eating apples.

Quote by Jackal58
We all desire a little pussy.
#39
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt

Aw, I'm underwhelmed

It doesn't even need to be about that guy, just a character based on him. I'll definitely use him sometime though

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#40
I read this ages ago, and think I'll definitely do it again. For some reason when I think of Gord I see a picture of Yahtzee ( www.fullyramblomatic.com )
The one with the royal sceptre and gown

Quote by leaping badger
i like drag


Member of the "I died a little inside when Steve Irwin died...RIP" club. Put in your sig to join.
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