A song im working on. I would really like some critique or opinions or something of the like.

"We'll all float on until we sink
and this dark world will eat our dreams
while corpporations buy our love
and sell it twice the price to us
while death follows at our heels
the dead will teach us how to feel
were close enough to heavens gates
so much for horsehoes and handgrenades.

what is this thing, society
that judges how our life should be
and this guitar guitar that's in my hands
supports all of the punk rock bands...