#1
(This is the first song i've ever wrote so dont expect magic, feedback appreciated , also its an acoustic song)

It all seemed to happen so fast
It just wasn’t in control
The feelings were clear but so far away
And the pages needed to turn

I get high on life while your around
But other than that its just weed
The weed tastes sweet & natural
But its only a substitute

Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

She was cool and hot
And always ment a lot
I never managed to pay the wages
The words just never came

Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

Time goes by much too fast
As if it was not ment to be
The days weren’t wasted but its much too late
Al-though the mist isnt clear

Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

Guitar solo (nothing good yet, just chords and electric guitar)

Timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will tell…….. but whos to know
What im going to feel

Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself
Gear:

Westone: Thunder 2
BOSS: Heavy Metal HM-2
Marlin: HML 10L
Peavey: Vypyr 30
Last edited by Blagworth08 at Jul 16, 2009,
#2
Quote by Blagworth08
(This is the first song i've ever wrote so dont expect magic, feedback appreciated , also its an acoustic song)

It all seemed to happen so fast
It just wasn’t in control
The feelings were clear but so far away
And the pages needed to turn
I really like this opening except the last line needs another word, try adding again
I get high on life while your around
But other than that its just weed
The weed tastes sweet & natural
But its only a substitute
I really like the first line but other than that I don't think it really fits
Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself
The last line doesn't sound right to me
She was cool and hot
And always ment a lot
I never managed to pay the wages
The words just never came
Hot and a lot sound forced, and again the last line doesn't sound right to me
Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

Time goes by much too fast
As if it was not ment to be
The days weren’t wasted but its much too late
Al-though the mist isnt clear
I enjoy this verse
Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

Guitar solo (nothing good yet, just chords and electric guitar)

Timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will tell…….. but whos to know
What im going to feel

Days too late are the days ive wasted
Days too late is my time cut short
I cannot forget the way you are
But maybe I should clear myself

Overall this is a really good first piece (beats mine by a mile). Try to use more descriptive words though.
c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=998487