#1
boobs
His split tongued queen
Led him to his knees
The spy within the kingdom, how much must he bleed
A savior, heir to his crown
Where is he when his fathers on the ground?

Draining slowly
The essence that built a kingdom
No guardian
Where are his wings tonight
Crippled and broken
Open arms welcomed demise

To beg and plead
Is to write off dignity
His crown, no longer
Who now rules this kingdom
The succubus, renders him inhuman
What is a man, at the feet of defeat?

A dying wish
Lingering
Where is my savior

Draining slowly
The essence that built a kingdom
No guardian
Where are his wings tonight
Crippled and broken
Open arms welcomed demise

Into her eyes
He sees his final moments
Before his last breath escapes him
Once loved, she robs him
Of life and kingdom
Where is my savior?
My gear
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Warrior WRXT *FS/FT*
Jasmine J35
Squier Fender P-Bass
Ibanez TBX150H
Crate 4x12
Fender Rumble 60


Part of UG's 7 STRING LEGION
#2
the "boobs" part was taken from my myspace blog, oops. >_> it's what i titled it cause i didn't have a song name. disregard that
My gear
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Warrior WRXT *FS/FT*
Jasmine J35
Squier Fender P-Bass
Ibanez TBX150H
Crate 4x12
Fender Rumble 60


Part of UG's 7 STRING LEGION
#3
Quote by ReinventingEvil
the "boobs" part was taken from my myspace blog, oops. >_> it's what i titled it cause i didn't have a song name. disregard that



You know you can edit your post, right?

(I'll crit in a minute, just wanted to tell you that)
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#5
I thought this was well written, for the most part. I can't grasp a particular meaning of this, but I see a theme and I feel like it does mean something..At times though it seemed that you were throwing random lines in there just because they are cool, but they don't seem cohesive to what you are trying to say. But that may just be because I don't have any idea what it could mean. I enjoyed reading this.

If you could take a look at the piece in my sig(The bottom sentence is a link), that would be awesome.

Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#6
LOL

regardless of the mistake, you should keep boobs as the first word of the song
ADD MY -CORE BAND!
www.myspace.com/efakaz

GEARx
Ibanez RG2EX1
Peavey 5150 II
Avatar 2x12 w/V30'S
ISP Decimator

Quote by T Man Prime
Ok everyone, who do you think is the heaviest band? Personally I think As I Lay Dying is the heaviest