Butt Rayge
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Join date: Jan 2009
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#1
I haven't been round these parts in a while...

Anyway, this is the result of me tapping out a drum beat on a cupboard i was opening to check for food, and then typing it up on GP, and then, without actually touching any kind of instrument, writing basically a whole song around it.

I'd say it's unfinished, even though i've run out of ideas, and i ended it with a bunch of repeats and a fadeout.

EDIT: Completed version is in post #7
Attachments:
polyrhythm (2).zip
Last edited by Butt Rayge at Jul 17, 2009,
jimmyled
*****es ain't ****
Join date: Apr 2008
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#2
Lol Butt Rage! But anyway interesting beat! I personally write almost everything without actually touching an instrument, but it varies between people. Anyway this has potential. I really liked the Break, even though I usually dislike them.
C4C?
ctb
Join date: Apr 2004
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#3
I enjoyed that.
It was boring at first, but the different rhythms changing through the song made it a better listen.
It had great rhythm. Write more.
Butt Rayge
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Join date: Jan 2009
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#4


Thats kinda what i was going for... (not boring,) but to make the rhythms the focal point. So theres not so much Melodic diversity, but quite a bit of rhythmic diversity to keep things spicy.

Too bad i ran out of ideas... Maybe picking up my guitar will help.
cptazad
Jeff Loomis is God
Join date: Jan 2006
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#5
Quote by Butt Rayge
I haven't been round these parts in a while...

Anyway, this is the result of me tapping out a drum beat on a cupboard i was opening to check for food, and then typing it up on GP, and then, without actually touching any kind of instrument, writing basically a whole song around it.

I'd say it's unfinished, even though i've run out of ideas, and i ended it with a bunch of repeats and a fadeout.


That's how I write sometimes (come up w/ a drum beat out of nowhere and build the song around that), usually works out.


I like the intro riff, very dissonant, that kinda stuff makes my pants wet haha, so good job. The only gripe I have here is that it needs some variation, maybe change the drums at bar 10?

Bar 28, **** ya, its' Friday today, I've got a cold beer in my hand and I just heard this riff, I thank you good sir =)

Bar 52, very Nevermore/Meshuggah-ish, I love it, flows very nicely into the riff at bar 60, nice drums there by the way

Overall, not a bad song for writing it from a simple drum beat. Maybe add in a new riff and a tempo change half way through maybe (the whole thing seemed to drag on) or at the outro.

"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
andrew12398
nom nom nom
Join date: Aug 2006
1,511 IQ
#6
Very short. The intro wasn't the greatest IMO, but it definitely got better.
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
Butt Rayge
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Join date: Jan 2009
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#7
I've updated and completed my piece.... Here it is. Please, even if you've already commented, come back and tell me what you think. You don't have to do a full crit, but let me know if it's an improvement.
Attachments:
polyrhythmnew.zip
rkay
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
352 IQ
#8
I see u used the tritone at the beginning. the tritone does give off an evil feel, but only
when its executed right. rather than just starting off with the tritone write some evil melody
then end on the tritone, that usually gives off a pretty evil feel.

but here i am going on about an evil sound, i dont even know if u were going for that. nevertheless it was very disonant which im assuming u were going for. im not really into disonance too much, only if its done really cleverly.

bar 16 is where it got a lot better with the change of beat.

u obviously wanted to make the rythm the main thing in the song. theres no distinct melodies or anything that catches ur attention.

but the way u worked with the beats its quite cool, i think its an idea u should work into other songs.

kinda disapointed about the fade off ending to the song. it would of been cool if you did what you were in the rest of the song, and experimented with a rythm that slowly slowed down to end the peice.

overall it was kinda cool but not something i would listen to very often. it seems more like of
an idea than a real song, try to fit those cool rythm changes into a real song with vocals and i think it would end up being a pretty cool and definitially original song.

crit mine back if u want.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1147372

good luck with ur future compositions!
andrew12398
nom nom nom
Join date: Aug 2006
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#9
The improvements were good, I'm guessing you don't play drums though.

I like the solo at the end too. A nice addition.
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
Butt Rayge
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Join date: Jan 2009
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#10
I do occasionally... Whenever i get the chance. I pwn the double kicks.

But no, i'm not a drummer.
whalepudding
UG Lovely Member
Join date: Aug 2005
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#11
I also usually write without touching an instrument. Means you're not limited by what positions your hands are used to. @ Butt Rayge and Jimmyled

Anyway, I liked this piece. I can imagine it being crushingly heavy if recorded with real instruments and decent production. Had a lot of good riffs, and the way you added variations to them kept them interesting. It wouldn't hurt to add a few melodies here and there though, it got slightly monotonous with just the low rhythmic riffs. Having one guitar play a low melody with lots of dissonant intervals and long, sustained notes while the other does one of the chuggier heavy riffs would work really well, I think.

And I'll agree with everyone else and say the outro was a tad anticlimatic. I think mainly because fading out is hardly a big finish, especially to a very heavy song, and because that part was so different to everything else, what with a very high-register guitar part being played, it seemed like it was progressing, so the revelation that it wasn't doing that at all was a bit disappointing. Maybe just ending the solo abruptly, having one guitar play one of the heavy riffs again on its own, and then bringing in all the instruments again to play it, repeat a few times, and end abruptly, that could work. Just a possibility, it might give you some ideas.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Jul 18, 2009,
Butt Rayge
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#13
Quote by justtryme
wow that was boring. this song blows

supea
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#14
At first I thought this is good... then I slowly started thinking "oh cmon when this ends".
Well it finally end after time that felt like 3 weeks
Butt Rayge
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#16
Quote by justtryme
wow that was boring. this song blows

Quote by supea
At first I thought this is good... then I slowly started thinking "oh cmon when this ends".
Well it finally end after time that felt like 3 weeks

This is exactly the type of constructive criticism the T&C forum needs more of...
Geiger89
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
303 IQ
#17
Bar 28 - This is amazing, damn awesome riff! All the work around this idea was good. It's kinda Meshuggah ish, but not at the same time.

Shame that it's the only bit that I found decent really. The polyrhythmic drumming was rather poor, it was boring, which I think is the opposite of what a poly rhythm/ poly meter should be, use the possibilities open to you to make something really good to listen to rather than set in just repeating one thing, try and make them a bit more complex.
Butt Rayge
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#18
Quote by bloodshed344
Vocals and production would make or break this song if it were recorded.

EDIT: and where are the polyrhythms at son? Polyrhythms man, polyrhythms.

12345123451234511234512345123451

that's a good one, 5/16 in 4/4.

I probably should've said Polymetres... Since thats what they were

Well, mainly. There were a couple of polyrhythms