#1
With my body shaking,
I can't sleep in this bed we're making.
So place your bets on false regrets,
My heartfelt letter has been returned to sender
Sealed with an insurmountable debt.

Honor your demons, and drown the feeling.
My hopes and scars have hit a glass ceiling.
Shattered, broken and blessed.
Second hand smoke and a heavy chest,
That only mist and fog could have guessed.

The wind blows North.
This gust I can no longer ignore.
I have now finally earned the right,
To eat these words I've screamed at the floor.
#2
I really enjoy this piece but I'll try to throw out some suggestions. First, I really enjoy the imagery especially in the first two stanzas but the third one with the wind is a bit off because never before is wind, temperature, or weather in general is stressed before hand.

I do like how you are able to kind of use each part of a bedroom (floor, bed, ceiling,) but maybe incorporate a window to ease in the wind.

This piece could also be a bit longer and possibly use a chorus to make it have a "full" feeling, because it does not sound complete yet.

Overall, what you've got so far works good but I would work on a chorus, quick revisions to the beginning of the final verse/stanza and maybe add another verse or stanza to it all.

Cheers and if you would like to crit. my works they are called "Together Through Life" and "The Rough, The"