#1
To be honest.. I don't like how I wrote this. But I got out what I needed out.

In my head it's meant to be read/sang/whatever in the style of The Way I Am by Eminem, if you care.


The Confines of Conformity


Underneath the cystal drops I lay
thinking about how to say what I want to say,
I cry inside every night and day
thinking about all that I threw away,

I grew up and stepped back
to the point where I'm gonna crack,
This rhyme makes me feel forced
to keep the line; I can't abort
this straight up report,
I beg you to please give me a smack
and make me go back
to the way that I was before,

Nothing will be normal again,
nothing will be how it was,
When I started out
I always had doubt,
but not until recently
did I have any reason to believe
that I was right
but now I have to see
That my life will not be
what was always important to me.
#2
The rhyming seems very forced in most places, but the subject matter isn't bad. Remember: all lyrics don't have to rhyme.

It was the only task I would undertake...

I P R O G
...to reap the harvest that was mine


- [ P R O G - H E A D ? ] -
#3
To me it's seems unfinished. If it is, then I think you have a good foundation, and if your title has anything to do with the song's meaning then I think you're definitely on the right track.

If it is finished, then I would consider adding on because as it is now, I feel like you left me hanging. Kinda like all of this was a build-up to some resolution or epiphany that the narrator had but then it was cut-off.

But what you have here is good. I think you should add more.
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
Quote by MetalGS3SE
The rhyming seems very forced in most places, but the subject matter isn't bad. Remember: all lyrics don't have to rhyme.

I'm well aware of this. Look up previous posts by me and you'll see. :p But, like the title says, it's stuck in the confines of conformity.

Quote by SubwayToVenus
To me it's seems unfinished. If it is, then I think you have a good foundation, and if your title has anything to do with the song's meaning then I think you're definitely on the right track.

If it is finished, then I would consider adding on because as it is now, I feel like you left me hanging. Kinda like all of this was a build-up to some resolution or epiphany that the narrator had but then it was cut-off.

But what you have here is good. I think you should add more.

It's as finished as it can be. The narrator is me, and I don't know what happens next. Sorry if I ruined anything. lol :P

Thanks for the responses. :]