#1
I wanted to post this because I don't think it is extremely good, but it's one of my better works. I would like opinions on improvements. And I will restate, if you are very religious, this may offend you.


Your god; Manufactured by megalomaniac sadists
Who wish to leave this world in ashes
Unfortunate it is, how easily the scales fall, their dividing line toppled by gold weights
Those who witness lay in stasis; oppressed, quiet of the evils they have seen
As they attempt not to sin as described in their holy tomes
When the truth shouts, its sound shall be drowned by the rain of golden bullets,
their shine depressed, smothered in deathly black blood
Yet another deep hope lost that someone will rescue them
Those who oppress, who condemn, who reap the benefits of their flocks of sheep
They are the wolves; not worth the flesh they command
They steal with nothing to offer in return but more fear offered to silence their lambs
With their gold; doused in dark crimson crusted over by time
Nourishing their tumors
feeding them to be their highest malignancy
Nourishing their tumors
they'd leech you dry anyway
Keep Nourishing your tumors
Their girth and mass shall be what drags you away
Quote by dandoosh101
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#2
love it. great job, saying what needs to be said. You sound like System of a Down.
Do you remember when we were young,
And you wanted to set the world on fire?
Well I still am,
And I still do.

My band needs a singer!
#3
Thanks. Much appreciated, their lyrics are often my inspiration.
Quote by dandoosh101
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Greatest lol yet
#4
I agree, reads very much like a SOAD song.

I couldn't really get into it because I completely disagree with what it's saying(But we won't get into that argument), but looking at purely the writing, it was pretty good. However, I thought some of the longer lines could have been split up into two lines.

Nice work.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#5
Thanks.. haha other forums I used to go on would've started a ridiculous flame war.

Cheers to UG
Quote by dandoosh101
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One lol Bomber for you
Greatest lol yet
#6
Glad to see someone that doesn't let other people's religious beliefs shape his or her musical lyrics